Happy New Year everyone!
Now just because it's another new year, I'm not requiring myself to create any particular New Year's resolution. However, I am requiring myself to apply what I have learned last year and do some things that will make my life a little bit more interesting and settled for this year. Some of which includes: taking care of the basics like relationship and parenting goals, money management and my own personal walk with the Lord (without being confined to church walls and men's twisted teachings of biblical truths. Can I get an Amen?) I started changing my outlook in these areas of my life back in 2009. Then by 2011, I received some life-changing plans. Everything I did answered the following question, "How do I apply biblical truths to my life each day?" This year it's time to give birth to what I have been learning. Notice, I have been in a state of emergency with every change (9-11.) It is indeed time to come up higher, folks!
There are those who restrict the intelligence of the Most High (I am referring to the one true God) to their inner circles. They feel like the Average Joe just isn't privy to his wisdom apart from the biblical stories. But if you choose to have a personal relationship with a being beyond basic human understanding, then you have to know that he is one who always has a plan for your life which is, dare I say it, better than yours! A man who wants to keep you dependent on him, like a crack head needing a fix, is not going to reveal any universal plan in its entirety or any prophetic word that will lead you away from him! He will leave those details out! Why? Because he needs your money and your service to promote his plan. He doesn't care about your personal goals.
Do you really know what the one true God's plan is for your life? If you take the time to know the Lord, study his word and be open to a relationship, he will reveal his plan step-by-step. Now what is revealed to you will affect those around you and they may or may not be on-board. From the politicians to the local store owner, what you do with your time and money affects everyone besides your family. This is why everyone wants you to stay close to them. Momma doesn't want to let go. Daddy wants to keep you around. Your spouse wants you to stay at home all the time. Your children want you to play with them all the time. No one wants or will give you the time to just think! You have to steal that time!
The Pharaohs of this earth have ignored God's plagues like in the Book of Exodus. The little people ie.) Moses and Aaron (you and me) keep telling these kings, leaders and others what to look out for; yet, they continue to act stubborn in their ways. So sad, but true, it won't be long before they will be wiped out (ie. look at the many different world leaders who are no longer with us to date.) The same destruction will happen on the national and local levels. So if you are hurting for money, sell your business and add that money to your savings account. If you need some debt relief, start making phone calls and negotiating with creditors. If you are hoping that a dead-end relationship on a personal or professional level will turn around, not now, you have a choice either stick it out or end it. There is no, "wait and see--things will get better."
Now I am not on this blog site just because I enjoy blogging, nor am I on here, because I get a few cents from an ad, but I am here because I have a calling on my life to write. I wouldn't know that unless I had allowed myself to be in touch with the one true God. For decades, I was oppressed by family, school, businesses, other associations, and friends to walk a path that was created for someone else. I had very little say at one point in my life on what I was supposed to do and say, because of all my brainwashing. In other words, what I thought I wanted wasn't really what I wanted. Now that I am growing older and wiser, I realized that what I had been "buying" into over the years on a personal and professional level isn't what I really wanted. Yes indeed, it's time for something different to happen in my life and yours too!
As I write, I think of you reader, you probably realize too that you were sold a bag of garbage for far too long! You allowed people, places, things, circumstances and the like to influence your decision making. You probably made some poor choices while the atmosphere you were in appealed to your five senses, now you are regretting some things. But can I tell you, you can get out of your mess and you will! But you will have to do much such as: read more about the subject area that troubles you, write about it and to those who you need to help you, save and spend money to get yourself out of trouble, and most of all try to keep the peace until your day of freedom comes which means not yelling, slamming doors, cussing people out--just acting like a fool! When your freedom comes, my friend, you will be stronger and wiser, I promise you that! It takes one to know one, so the old adage goes!
Sometimes we all walk toward pits then fall in them without anyone around to warn us. This happens because there is something we need to learn while we are in the pit and sometimes the only way to get our attention to do good is through a bad situation. As I write, I think of the story of Joseph in the Bible. But when it is all said and done, like Joseph you will have your day to shine!
Know that there is something beyond the skies much greater than these weak humans on this planet! You don't have to settle for man's dumb, dark philosophies! You don't have to agree with everyone. You definitely don't have to sell your soul to the Devil unless that is what you want but if you have already, you can reverse the curse, but you will definitely have to be on the winning side with the one true God on a consistent basis for that to happen which requires a sacrifice (Jesus performed the blood one already,) I mean all that dark thinking and stuff!
Remember whatever choice you make in this world will affect you on the other side (you do know there is another side after death, right?) It is up to you to either wallow in the mistakes of the past or do something today to mark your future in the most positive way.
Thank God, not me, for today's inspiring message.
Nicholl McGuire
Feel free to read my other work on these sites: When Mothers Cry http://whenmotherscry.blogspot.com African American Lifestyle http://africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com Spiritual Poems by Nicholl: Thoughts and Words to Convict http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com
You might only have one chance to make the right not write impression.
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query life. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query life. Sort by date Show all posts
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Don’t Like Your Life? 5 Action Steps to Personal Growth
I have had moments in my life where I simply didn't like what I was doing and where I was headed so I made up in my mind to make necessary changes. Many people are sick and tired of being sick and tired and are ready for personal and professional changes in their lives,
but they just don’t know how to go about making their desires happen.
Some encouraging people have told you what you should do or say to make things better in your life, yet the advice hasn’t been anything you bother putting into practice. Maybe the following tips will bring you the peace you need or maybe not. It all depends on your mindset and what you are willing to receive. Remember at the start of this writing I shared that I had to make up in my mind to change.
When someone isn’t happy with his or her life, it is usually because the individual isn’t at peace with one's life choices. The person struggles with whether he or she should make adjustments, but doesn't want to do anything about problems because the individual feels like one doesn't have enough knowledge, money, time or some other reason. So that brings us to the first point.
Obtain knowledge on what burdens you the most. From parenting to finances, there is so much free information that can help you answer all your questions. You don’t need money for that, but you do need time. Many people will say they don’t have the time to read a book, watch a movie, or listen to meditative music, if this is how you feel, then your burden may not be as important as you think.
Third, inform the people who will be affected by your plan of what you are doing. If you feel that the adjustments you make in your life won’t affect them, then it won’t be necessary to let anyone know. However, when changes occur and they affect other people, someone most likely will be upset if you just expect them to do things differently just because you want them to. So when possible communicate changes. Unnecessary arguments happen all the time because a person didn’t bother to let the other know.
Jobs, relationships, and money, may be negatively
influencing the way you see your life right now. Have you been doing something about it? You may have already shared with others how
you feel about being a wife, husband, parent, employee, or friend. Behind your back, someone might be praying for you, talking
about you, or hoping that things will get better for you.
You feel this way, because you don’t like the choices you
have made. The children came too soon,
the man wasn’t what you had in mind, the woman you married changed drastically,
the job wasn’t what you expected, and your friends aren’t available anymore. You might personally believe that you are too old, too tired, too stubborn, or too whatever else to make a difference in your life or others.
Some encouraging people have told you what you should do or say to make things better in your life, yet the advice hasn’t been anything you bother putting into practice. Maybe the following tips will bring you the peace you need or maybe not. It all depends on your mindset and what you are willing to receive. Remember at the start of this writing I shared that I had to make up in my mind to change.
When someone isn’t happy with his or her life, it is usually because the individual isn’t at peace with one's life choices. The person struggles with whether he or she should make adjustments, but doesn't want to do anything about problems because the individual feels like one doesn't have enough knowledge, money, time or some other reason. So that brings us to the first point.
Obtain knowledge on what burdens you the most. From parenting to finances, there is so much free information that can help you answer all your questions. You don’t need money for that, but you do need time. Many people will say they don’t have the time to read a book, watch a movie, or listen to meditative music, if this is how you feel, then your burden may not be as important as you think.
When you really want to do
something about a problem, you will make the time! You’re doing it now, reading this
article. If your husband or wife told
you he or she is leaving the relationship, you would make the time to talk with
him or her, wouldn’t you? If someone told you
that your favorite sports team was playing at an arena and they had VIP seating and you're invited,
you would make the time to attend the game, wouldn’t you? People are only as busy as they choose to
be, so the first thing you need to do is clear some space in your schedule
to tend to the things that bother you the most.
Is it your job? Look for
opportunities within the organization to advance. Children driving you crazy? Take time for yourself to find out what you
need to do to settle them and your nerves down.
Husband still cheating? You put
up with that long enough, focus on an exit plan and obtain legal counsel. Wife spending too much
money? Find out how to communicate your
concern effectively. Find the information you need to resolve the problem.
 |
| http://thingstodobored.blogspot.com |
Next, after you have educated yourself on what bothers you, make
a written plan and abide by it. For
instance, let’s say you have an illness, the doctor gave you tips and a
prescription that will help you feel better.
You know you will have to possibly change eating habits, exercise, or
refrain from certain activities as well.
Create a plan and post it somewhere in your home that you can see
everyday. People who are the most
successful with accomplishing their goals will write them down.
Third, inform the people who will be affected by your plan of what you are doing. If you feel that the adjustments you make in your life won’t affect them, then it won’t be necessary to let anyone know. However, when changes occur and they affect other people, someone most likely will be upset if you just expect them to do things differently just because you want them to. So when possible communicate changes. Unnecessary arguments happen all the time because a person didn’t bother to let the other know.
Fourth, document your success. For instance, you need to save money, you
read about the ways to do it, you made your plan, now document all the times
you successfully saved money. When you
read what you had written on a later date and notice all of the accomplishments you have made
you will feel good about yourself sticking to your goal. Reward yourself when you are able to, thanking you for being you! Don't expect others to praise you, encourage yourself!
Lastly, when you have accomplished your personal and professional goals, share your
knowledge with someone else who may be going through the storm you just got
over. You might make a great best friend when you do this. As a result of your personal experiences, you will be
able to tell that person of your journey to rise above difficult people and circumstances.
Nicholl
Check out my book, What Else Can I Do on the Internet? There is more to do than what you already do. So take your Internet experiences to the next level today!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
My Own Woman
There comes a point in life where like a child learning how to walk, you start out being helped by others in learning how to make decisions, but then eventually you learn how to think for yourself. No longer do you succumb to what other people say, think, or feel about you. You are your own woman or man now, and if society doesn't like it well then they can...
I awoke one morning to this reality of being my own woman. I reflected back to childhood memories both good and bad. I primarily pondered on those who have influenced my life, in particular the United States government, from the public education I received to the public food stamps I once carried, it all seemed good at least on the surface, but remember what I wrote earlier, "I awoke one morning..."
Having been indoctrinated very young by an organization (I prefer not to name because they do more good than harm for young minds,) they taught me to love God, country and family, I didn't know about soft mind control tactics at the time. I didn't know they were being used on me and others who chose to join government-run organizations including churches (forget what you heard about separation of church and state.) Rather, I thought I was born into a nation that allowed us to exercise our God-given abilities not to control them for their benefit. However, the reality was society, not God, had a plan for my life, if I didn't know how to have a relationship with my Creator for myself.
Others would tell me how to talk, walk, what to say, what to think, etc. Of course it was all for my own good, now wasn't it? Is there ever a time limit when we outgrow soft mind control? Apparently there wasn't for me or for you, because even after you have graduated from highschool, college, and/or trade school, there are organizations that are government controlled as well waiting on you. Whether it is the mega church not too far from your home, the local chapter run by a national group, a business, the children youth center, even the community childcare facility, someone or a group is influencing you and your family in a way to do something for them and whatever that something is it has a dollar figure behind it! Military recruits study your son, entertainment groups study your daughter and civic groups study you. If you do well and stand out above everyone else, someone will want to learn more of you. That someone will be your handler one day if you aren't too careful.
So I have a new way of thinking similar to those older people who come to a place in their life where they say, "I don't care." They take that deep breath and they enjoy their lives and then they die. I personally am tired of holding my breath in and waiting for others to tell me what to do, I realize its time to be my own woman!
Whether your "handlers" were your parents, your friends, civic groups and other associations, someone influenced you to become the person who stares back at you in the mirror. Be it right, be it wrong you are manufactured in some way by someone else to work for them. I had a serious wake up call upon my life after 911. I had never thought for a single minute that our government had anything to do with the catastrophes that occurred that day, but I was wrong!
The images on the millions of television screens on 911 were so horrific. I learned later those closed eyes of mine who had been glued to the television, had went to bed that afternoon and didn't wake up until that evening with two little ones playing alone. I had experienced what some would call a "trauma based mind control" like so many others. I saw the unedited version of the tragedy live. People were literally throwing their bodies from the windows of the Twin Tower buildings. By the time some of you got off of work to see the events that evening, they had edited those disturbing images out of the reporting.
Whether we choose to admit or not, we have all been open to mind control at some time or another in our lives. If you have been trained in anything whether how to fight in a war or how to perform tasks for a boss in a professional atmosphere, someone has programmed you on what to do each and every day. With routine, you eventually know what to say, how to say it, where to put something, what to do, etc. This is why sometimes it is very hard for some to teach an outsider, because they are so controlled by their atmosphere they see no other way of doing things. Then when the new- comer shows up with a new way of doing things that could help the company, he or she is greeted with a frown.
There are two certain types of men I have been around all my life, the ones who have been in the military and the ones who have been in prison. Both types of men have come out of these government-run organizations with no support, no deprogramming, and no understanding of how their actions have negatively impacted others. Trained to kill, a man who doesn't know how to turn off that personality is a terror. He uses the same mind control tactics he was given on his family. He has to control every situation. He treats everything like he is on a mission and if you fail him, there is a price to pay. He knows how to use his voice to get what he wants (or at least tries to get what he wants.) He stands a certain way to demand attention. He fights in such a way to send a message to one's mind that will be etched forever. He has to maintain an atmosphere that is conducive to his programming. Instead of doing push ups or running laps like he did when he failed his instructor, you are threatened, possibly beaten, strangled, something is taken from you, or he simply walks away from you and all ties associated with you.
The man who has been trained to follow orders in jail comes out into the world looking for someone or something to make him feel whole again. Usually when his needs aren't met, he returns to his old way of life even worse then when he left. Without family, church, or other kinds of positive support, he is nothing more than a walking time bomb too just like the brainwashed former military official. At some point he is going to explode on someone or something. Unfortunately, I didn't witness many good men who were great to be around having come from either background. If anything, they were problems to either their own family, friends, community, or society at large. The military got a few good men, but once those men came out, what happened? In my personal experience I have yet to encounter men who came out with minds completely intact especially if they fought in a war and/or been exposed to certain drugs designed "to aid them" while on duty. Something always seems to be mentally amiss.
So here I am wide awake one morning reflecting on my life and specifically thinking about having been influenced by government entities from public school to jobs. I even recalled a time when I had thought about joining the Army or Marines. I had been influenced very young to take pride in my country and as a young woman at 17 years, I was willing to do just that until my dad told me otherwise.
When I awoke that morning I was sad, then angry, then sad again because I knew my reality, my truth, yet those around me were still in the dark. And as I learned from my own experience, you can't be of any help to someone when you are living in the dark.
Nicholl McGuire
http://www.associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire
I awoke one morning to this reality of being my own woman. I reflected back to childhood memories both good and bad. I primarily pondered on those who have influenced my life, in particular the United States government, from the public education I received to the public food stamps I once carried, it all seemed good at least on the surface, but remember what I wrote earlier, "I awoke one morning..."
Having been indoctrinated very young by an organization (I prefer not to name because they do more good than harm for young minds,) they taught me to love God, country and family, I didn't know about soft mind control tactics at the time. I didn't know they were being used on me and others who chose to join government-run organizations including churches (forget what you heard about separation of church and state.) Rather, I thought I was born into a nation that allowed us to exercise our God-given abilities not to control them for their benefit. However, the reality was society, not God, had a plan for my life, if I didn't know how to have a relationship with my Creator for myself.
Others would tell me how to talk, walk, what to say, what to think, etc. Of course it was all for my own good, now wasn't it? Is there ever a time limit when we outgrow soft mind control? Apparently there wasn't for me or for you, because even after you have graduated from highschool, college, and/or trade school, there are organizations that are government controlled as well waiting on you. Whether it is the mega church not too far from your home, the local chapter run by a national group, a business, the children youth center, even the community childcare facility, someone or a group is influencing you and your family in a way to do something for them and whatever that something is it has a dollar figure behind it! Military recruits study your son, entertainment groups study your daughter and civic groups study you. If you do well and stand out above everyone else, someone will want to learn more of you. That someone will be your handler one day if you aren't too careful.
So I have a new way of thinking similar to those older people who come to a place in their life where they say, "I don't care." They take that deep breath and they enjoy their lives and then they die. I personally am tired of holding my breath in and waiting for others to tell me what to do, I realize its time to be my own woman!
Whether your "handlers" were your parents, your friends, civic groups and other associations, someone influenced you to become the person who stares back at you in the mirror. Be it right, be it wrong you are manufactured in some way by someone else to work for them. I had a serious wake up call upon my life after 911. I had never thought for a single minute that our government had anything to do with the catastrophes that occurred that day, but I was wrong!
The images on the millions of television screens on 911 were so horrific. I learned later those closed eyes of mine who had been glued to the television, had went to bed that afternoon and didn't wake up until that evening with two little ones playing alone. I had experienced what some would call a "trauma based mind control" like so many others. I saw the unedited version of the tragedy live. People were literally throwing their bodies from the windows of the Twin Tower buildings. By the time some of you got off of work to see the events that evening, they had edited those disturbing images out of the reporting.
Whether we choose to admit or not, we have all been open to mind control at some time or another in our lives. If you have been trained in anything whether how to fight in a war or how to perform tasks for a boss in a professional atmosphere, someone has programmed you on what to do each and every day. With routine, you eventually know what to say, how to say it, where to put something, what to do, etc. This is why sometimes it is very hard for some to teach an outsider, because they are so controlled by their atmosphere they see no other way of doing things. Then when the new- comer shows up with a new way of doing things that could help the company, he or she is greeted with a frown.
There are two certain types of men I have been around all my life, the ones who have been in the military and the ones who have been in prison. Both types of men have come out of these government-run organizations with no support, no deprogramming, and no understanding of how their actions have negatively impacted others. Trained to kill, a man who doesn't know how to turn off that personality is a terror. He uses the same mind control tactics he was given on his family. He has to control every situation. He treats everything like he is on a mission and if you fail him, there is a price to pay. He knows how to use his voice to get what he wants (or at least tries to get what he wants.) He stands a certain way to demand attention. He fights in such a way to send a message to one's mind that will be etched forever. He has to maintain an atmosphere that is conducive to his programming. Instead of doing push ups or running laps like he did when he failed his instructor, you are threatened, possibly beaten, strangled, something is taken from you, or he simply walks away from you and all ties associated with you.
The man who has been trained to follow orders in jail comes out into the world looking for someone or something to make him feel whole again. Usually when his needs aren't met, he returns to his old way of life even worse then when he left. Without family, church, or other kinds of positive support, he is nothing more than a walking time bomb too just like the brainwashed former military official. At some point he is going to explode on someone or something. Unfortunately, I didn't witness many good men who were great to be around having come from either background. If anything, they were problems to either their own family, friends, community, or society at large. The military got a few good men, but once those men came out, what happened? In my personal experience I have yet to encounter men who came out with minds completely intact especially if they fought in a war and/or been exposed to certain drugs designed "to aid them" while on duty. Something always seems to be mentally amiss.
So here I am wide awake one morning reflecting on my life and specifically thinking about having been influenced by government entities from public school to jobs. I even recalled a time when I had thought about joining the Army or Marines. I had been influenced very young to take pride in my country and as a young woman at 17 years, I was willing to do just that until my dad told me otherwise.
When I awoke that morning I was sad, then angry, then sad again because I knew my reality, my truth, yet those around me were still in the dark. And as I learned from my own experience, you can't be of any help to someone when you are living in the dark.
Nicholl McGuire
http://www.associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire
Saturday, April 2, 2022
Spiritual Wisdom - Life is Too Short
Exciting times ahead whether good, bad or otherwise! Get ready for serious life changes all around. What you see now in media, is only the beginning of more to come. From wars and mayhem to major businesses laying off dedicated employees from around the world, one will need to have a plan of action to weather the storms! If you are a person of faith, you need only to rely on your God, but for others they will have difficulty trying to comprehend the castatrophic events that will come their way.
I have seen and witnessed people trying very hard to run from life troubles using addictive drugs and alcohol to cope while others are immersing themselves in a variety of jobs and hobbies. However, the events that beckon you to take ownership and work through them will not continue to be put off or away. You must do something! As some wise counselors have told us time and time again, "Life is too short!" It truly is!
When I think back on my own personal and professional life challenges, I marvel at how far I have come with the help of kind souls and an awesome God, but I also realize that my existence is but a minute in time, and before long, I will join the many others who have left this world. Our reunion on the other side will be magnificent--one of rejoicing and celebration! When you walk with your personal savior, there is no doubt about your relationship with Him and the perfect world that awaits far beyond this one!
More and more people are recognizing that there is more to mind and body as they sit in quiet and deep mediation. They realize they are compromised of a spirit that surpasses all man-made reasoning that embodies a Creator who wants nothing more than to connect with the lost souls of man, woman and child. How awesome would it be if flawed human beings would humble themselves before the great I Am and finally commit their lives to Him!
Although this blog has typically been about my work online and the services I provide to businesses, I periodically share spiritual wisdom and personal faith to remind those who have spent much time running the rat race while forgetting the one who got them the job or business in the first place! There is more to life than just money, cars, homes, travel, education, networking events, customers, and paying growing bills! Have you heard from your Creator lately?
I think of the many professionals I have connected with over the years. We had lively discussions about the spiritual condition of people and how might they be better at communicating their concerns, living out their spiritual callings, and overall being the new and improved human beings they desire to be.
Lately, my sincere prayer has been that the world will experience the years of peace as promised in the Holy Bible before destruction comes. I also pray that all might come to know Jesus before they close their eyes.
Back to work....until next time.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
NEWLY PUBLISHED BOOK: When Mothers Cry Written by Nicholl McGuire
The man isn’t what she wanted even though he is the father of her children. Their legacy came before they were both ready. She is a mother and her childhood dreams aren’t the reality she now lives. Her own mother wasn’t happy when she got the news of her birth in fact she refused to see her after giving her daughter life. Some childless women resent her, allowing their jealousies to override common sense. “Being a mother just isn’t what you think!” she cries out to anyone who will listen. At the end of the day, the mother struggles to find time for herself. She often cries out to God.
Get ready for an emotional journey of what makes mother’s cry in Nicholl’s second thought-provoking book entitled, When Mothers Cry. Both good and bad mothers cry. Some don’t want to be mothers and have bad relationships. Others have what society deems “bad children.” Mothers make questionable decisions in parenting while others let themselves and their children go. These are only some of the motherhood issues discussed in When Mothers Cry. You will not want to put this page-turner down unless of course, you want to cry. Nicholl is inviting mothers from all walks of life (and the men who love them,) young and old, rich and poor, to come to her table and pull up a chair, “Let’s talk about how you really feel about your role not what you want others to think either!” says Nicholl.
When Mothers Cry doesn’t spare anyone’s feelings, doesn’t sugarcoat the truth and isn’t delusional. Not everyone is happy about parenthood. This book is for those who are struggling with motherhood and the challenges that come with it whether your child is 1 or 61. Women who don’t believe they have any struggles with being a mother, shouldn’t read this book, unless of course, you plan on helping your sister in a crisis.
“My motivation for writing this book came from being with my children ever day for three years. The longest I had ever been away from them was eight hours in a single day! I had become bored with routine and was seeking something that could excite my life. For me, writing this book did more than I could ever imagine! It gave me freedom in my mind from the burdens all around me. As I wrote, I often thought of the many mothers who died frustrated, angry, and sad for giving up so much for their children and getting little in return. Then there were those mothers who came to mind who couldn’t ask for a better life, but due to unresolved issues of the past, they just couldn’t shake their negative emotions. What others considered these mothers’ weaknesses, I knew it was my duty to note their strengths! I dedicate When Mothers Cry to deceased mothers.”
When Mothers Cry is available at Amazon.com. For more information about the book visit www.whenmotherscry.com or http://whenmotherscry.blogspot.com
Nicholl McGuire was born and raised in Pittsburgh, PA, relocated to Ohio and then settled in California. She is the mother of four sons. Her background is in journalism and communications. Nicholl penned her first book Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate in 1997. She is also the creator of several recent journals released this year for people who enjoy recording their life experiences the traditional way. Those books are: My Travel Journal, My Business Plan, My Business Journal, and What Do I Have To Say About My Job? all may be found at Blurb.com, a website that helps novices and professionals create books.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Small Town Mindset Can Kill Big Dreams
One of the biggest mistakes people from small towns do after being exposed to big city life is to go back home and adapt to the small mindset of locals once again.
After months or even years of broadening one's horizons, far too many individuals relocate back home and accept ignorance. From negative comments about big cities, lifestyles, and cultures (that most small minds have never encountered personally) to what they think they know about a neighborhood because they "read somewhere...heard about...my cousin use to live there..." so this makes someone knowledgeable? How about living and staying in the big city rather than running into the arms of worry and fear? What about walking the streets, riding the buses, attending events, and lending your service to that new community rather than finding solace in the ever-popular statement, "I just want to be close to family..."? Aren't those the people you needed to get away from in the first place in an effort to grow up?
I simply have little patience for the little know-it-all mind who spreads his or her limited view of the world. Then later, he or she wants to go back home and act as if this individual is the authority to speak on big issues in a big city that he or she ran away from. Is anyone paying attention to that kind of action? It wasn't about family, it was about survival. The mind could no longer handle big city life coupled with the fact that a loved one or friend whispered repeatedly over the years, "Why don't you come back home?" Think of the many people who did relocate only to later wish they had never returned home. Now they are nothing more than a problem to the family since returning, because they are filled with so much regret.
I have sat with those who came from backgrounds that were mainly decorated in white or in black. These people chose to live that way, not because it was necessary, but because they enjoyed the comfort of dealing with their "own people" or "own kind." I didn't argue or persuade these folks to "...think out of the box" because I could tell from their conversations that it just wasn't an option. They were either "too old to change...was afraid...liked their simple life..." For a few, they went so far to say that they "didn't want drama in their lives..." I didn't know that opening one's heart and mind to other people outside of one's ethnicity was "drama."
Anyway, since living in various cities and talking with many people, I recognize that a leopard just isn't going to change its spots. It doesn't matter where he moves, who he meets, or what he does, underneath all of the smiles and so-called "open to all" conversation, is still an ignorant, angry or fearful person who just doesn't like the idea of living in a world with people who aren't staying up late at night contemplating on how to hurt him. Some just look for fights that were never there in the first place--good riddens, the small-minded should go back to their small towns and while there, tell the locals the truth, "I thought it was for me, but it really wasn't...I couldn't handle it."
May today be the day that those readers who happen to stumble on this blog entry, awaken or reawaken to the life you know you are expected to live--not being governed by the ignorance of the small mindset, the fearful or the worried.
Live your best life now for you are not promised tomorrow!
Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love Myself on Amazon.com
After months or even years of broadening one's horizons, far too many individuals relocate back home and accept ignorance. From negative comments about big cities, lifestyles, and cultures (that most small minds have never encountered personally) to what they think they know about a neighborhood because they "read somewhere...heard about...my cousin use to live there..." so this makes someone knowledgeable? How about living and staying in the big city rather than running into the arms of worry and fear? What about walking the streets, riding the buses, attending events, and lending your service to that new community rather than finding solace in the ever-popular statement, "I just want to be close to family..."? Aren't those the people you needed to get away from in the first place in an effort to grow up?
I simply have little patience for the little know-it-all mind who spreads his or her limited view of the world. Then later, he or she wants to go back home and act as if this individual is the authority to speak on big issues in a big city that he or she ran away from. Is anyone paying attention to that kind of action? It wasn't about family, it was about survival. The mind could no longer handle big city life coupled with the fact that a loved one or friend whispered repeatedly over the years, "Why don't you come back home?" Think of the many people who did relocate only to later wish they had never returned home. Now they are nothing more than a problem to the family since returning, because they are filled with so much regret.
I have sat with those who came from backgrounds that were mainly decorated in white or in black. These people chose to live that way, not because it was necessary, but because they enjoyed the comfort of dealing with their "own people" or "own kind." I didn't argue or persuade these folks to "...think out of the box" because I could tell from their conversations that it just wasn't an option. They were either "too old to change...was afraid...liked their simple life..." For a few, they went so far to say that they "didn't want drama in their lives..." I didn't know that opening one's heart and mind to other people outside of one's ethnicity was "drama."
Anyway, since living in various cities and talking with many people, I recognize that a leopard just isn't going to change its spots. It doesn't matter where he moves, who he meets, or what he does, underneath all of the smiles and so-called "open to all" conversation, is still an ignorant, angry or fearful person who just doesn't like the idea of living in a world with people who aren't staying up late at night contemplating on how to hurt him. Some just look for fights that were never there in the first place--good riddens, the small-minded should go back to their small towns and while there, tell the locals the truth, "I thought it was for me, but it really wasn't...I couldn't handle it."
May today be the day that those readers who happen to stumble on this blog entry, awaken or reawaken to the life you know you are expected to live--not being governed by the ignorance of the small mindset, the fearful or the worried.
Live your best life now for you are not promised tomorrow!
Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love Myself on Amazon.com
Friday, January 24, 2014
Trials are Breeding Grounds for Elevating One's Self Spiritually
Before you pity someone who appears to be going through much trial, consider thinking about what you can learn through someone else's storm.
When one is under pressure, sometimes the mind is clouded with much confusion and chaos, but other times ideas come--many ideas that seem promising especially when money is an issue.
I have learned that blessings are readily available to us when we are willing to give of ourselves without expecting reimbursement. What might one give to a business, a school, an organization, church, and other places that might increase traffic, revenue, better programs, and more without dropping a single dollar in the lap of yet another someone who just might be looking for a little more than that? An idea that not only helps what is on the surface, but renews what is deep within.
With many trials over my years, I have recognized that although mind and body were at times weakened, spirituality stayed strong. It propelled me to think higher, to take the distractions of trial off myself, and look beyond my circumstances.
I am grateful for the relatives, individuals, and businesses who have encouraged me to stick some things out when I was very much ready to say, "Goodbye." I know that an Almighty God moves in His time and not our own. Will there be loses on life's journey even with an Awesome God standing in front of us? Of course, because God is only going to give us what he knows we can handle be it right or wrong from a societal point of view. Not every relationship is a blessed one, not every child is destined for greatness, not every location is a good place to live, not every job is a good one...God knows what is best--that is if we are willing to seek a Higher Power to help us!
As I viewed the many homeless people who lay on the streets of downtown Los Angeles and under bridges along the freeways, I heard in the spirit, "Many of the poor had quit life just before they received their blessings." They experience life curses due to things like: rejection, fear, illegal activities, and more. God had at one time sent messengers to his children along the way to help, but to no avail.
I recall those who were once homeless give testimonies at churches I had attended. They used their trials as opportunities to build their faith. These people are inspirations because they show all what God can do when a person has nothing, yet still has the willingness to want something out of life no matter what the issues.
Take a moment to invite the Holy Ghost power of Jesus Christ into your life then watch what happens!
Nicholl McGuire
When one is under pressure, sometimes the mind is clouded with much confusion and chaos, but other times ideas come--many ideas that seem promising especially when money is an issue.
I have learned that blessings are readily available to us when we are willing to give of ourselves without expecting reimbursement. What might one give to a business, a school, an organization, church, and other places that might increase traffic, revenue, better programs, and more without dropping a single dollar in the lap of yet another someone who just might be looking for a little more than that? An idea that not only helps what is on the surface, but renews what is deep within.
With many trials over my years, I have recognized that although mind and body were at times weakened, spirituality stayed strong. It propelled me to think higher, to take the distractions of trial off myself, and look beyond my circumstances.
I am grateful for the relatives, individuals, and businesses who have encouraged me to stick some things out when I was very much ready to say, "Goodbye." I know that an Almighty God moves in His time and not our own. Will there be loses on life's journey even with an Awesome God standing in front of us? Of course, because God is only going to give us what he knows we can handle be it right or wrong from a societal point of view. Not every relationship is a blessed one, not every child is destined for greatness, not every location is a good place to live, not every job is a good one...God knows what is best--that is if we are willing to seek a Higher Power to help us!
As I viewed the many homeless people who lay on the streets of downtown Los Angeles and under bridges along the freeways, I heard in the spirit, "Many of the poor had quit life just before they received their blessings." They experience life curses due to things like: rejection, fear, illegal activities, and more. God had at one time sent messengers to his children along the way to help, but to no avail.
I recall those who were once homeless give testimonies at churches I had attended. They used their trials as opportunities to build their faith. These people are inspirations because they show all what God can do when a person has nothing, yet still has the willingness to want something out of life no matter what the issues.
Take a moment to invite the Holy Ghost power of Jesus Christ into your life then watch what happens!
Nicholl McGuire
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
An Awakening
There comes a time when we all have those eye-opening moments in life where we question the decisions we made in the past and grieve over the impact that they have made on our present day. We think of what we could be doing differently. We are disturbed at what our negative actions may have done to others...So many thoughts, so little time!
I realize that I am at a place in my life that some would call perimenopause -- the change before THE CHANGE. Every now and then, what seems good and looks good on Monday is not good and never was good by Friday. Gray hair is annoying to me. A bloated belly makes me cringe. Older men that once looked handsome to me just look old. Lines are beginning to show up on my face that weren't there a couple of years ago. Strange feelings, odd pains, and maybe a little voice that whispers, "Take a vitamin, seek out an herbal remedy, and when did you last exercise?" has now shown up. Whether it's hormones, stress, or the sun just not shining as bright from one day to the next, who knows? But the great thing about mid-life changes, you aren't that naive, fearful immature "think you know everything" brat that you once were in your twenties -- can I get an Amen!? Oh, I see them the twenty-something or early thirty-something who knows everything. Whether she is single, childless, godless, or irritable, she doesn't want to hear what anyone has to say! Although there are those who have yet to grow out of that mentality ( forties, fifties, and sixties) I am not talking about them today.
In midlife (thirty-something,) for some, there is now room in between your ears to really listen to what your elders have to say and appreciate their nuggets of wisdom rather than sigh and roll your eyes. Chances are you will be back to doing that in your forties while pushing them into a nursing home (LOL!) During your early mid-life season, there is usually a little more money in your pocket to do something meaningful with your life other than buy material items that tear, break or go out of style and crap that will only end it up in the toilet! (Someone out there reading this can relate!)
So I welcome thirty-something each year that I get closer and closer to forty-something. Who knows what I will be doing next? As the brain matures hopefully one will get a little bit more wiser!
Be blessed!
Nicholl
I realize that I am at a place in my life that some would call perimenopause -- the change before THE CHANGE. Every now and then, what seems good and looks good on Monday is not good and never was good by Friday. Gray hair is annoying to me. A bloated belly makes me cringe. Older men that once looked handsome to me just look old. Lines are beginning to show up on my face that weren't there a couple of years ago. Strange feelings, odd pains, and maybe a little voice that whispers, "Take a vitamin, seek out an herbal remedy, and when did you last exercise?" has now shown up. Whether it's hormones, stress, or the sun just not shining as bright from one day to the next, who knows? But the great thing about mid-life changes, you aren't that naive, fearful immature "think you know everything" brat that you once were in your twenties -- can I get an Amen!? Oh, I see them the twenty-something or early thirty-something who knows everything. Whether she is single, childless, godless, or irritable, she doesn't want to hear what anyone has to say! Although there are those who have yet to grow out of that mentality ( forties, fifties, and sixties) I am not talking about them today.
In midlife (thirty-something,) for some, there is now room in between your ears to really listen to what your elders have to say and appreciate their nuggets of wisdom rather than sigh and roll your eyes. Chances are you will be back to doing that in your forties while pushing them into a nursing home (LOL!) During your early mid-life season, there is usually a little more money in your pocket to do something meaningful with your life other than buy material items that tear, break or go out of style and crap that will only end it up in the toilet! (Someone out there reading this can relate!)
So I welcome thirty-something each year that I get closer and closer to forty-something. Who knows what I will be doing next? As the brain matures hopefully one will get a little bit more wiser!
Be blessed!
Nicholl
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Personal Attraction, does it exist?
I thought this article was worth noting on my site since I couldn't say it better myself, tell me if you agree.
Do you find yourself banging your head against the situations that keep going on and on? Are you caught up in a revolving door going around and around? When you take a good look at where you are in life, do you think you should be doing something else?
Not to long ago, I stopped and reviewed my goals. But there are some days when I feel very frustrated. I feel like I am spinning my wheels in the mud. You might be thinking that I am a dreamer... or at least crazy. Well? I'm crazy enough to pursue my dreams. I definitely have BIG dreams.
I feel blessed! Because I have challenge each and everyday to be conquered, I face everyday with excitement and passion.
I'm doing what I truly love. I love interact with people. Life is wonderful just because of the fact I'm alive, compared to the horrors we see out there. I am successfully pressing on to greater things. But I have had my share of frustration along the way.
Well, unlike many who are too busy trying to make a living instead of projecting a life, I took the time to examine what I might be doing wrong.
Let me tell you something: To busy doesn't mean you are successful, just because you're busy doesn't mean prosperity. In fact, if you are to busy, probably you don't have time to make real money at all!!!
So I discovered myself doing my things in the opposite way what I really desired. And that may be your problem, too. Let me explain.
Let say you are the owner of a big field, and you sow an olive seed, but you're thinking to reap grapes. But it seems as though that is exactly what we are trying to do when it comes to aligning the seeds in our minds versus the harvest we want as a result.
You have to see it done on the unseen field first, than you'll have on your hands right on time. Seeds of doubt and fear planted in our minds can reap their own sort of crop. If you wake up doubting whether you will make it or not, it doesn't matter how much you have done for the day, you will not make much progress. You must believe!
We can't afford to let people dump their frustrations and other negative opinions in our heads. Don't you dare let them do that to yourself, get over it!
Fear is like a weed. Once there, will grow and fight against the good in you. Don't let it suffocate you. You must saturate your mind with good until you have your goal turned reality. God never lets us down. We let ourselves down. Does that make sense to you?
Growing in online home business
isn't something that just happens to the lucky or to the people who are very talented. It happens to the person that sees the opportunity and goes for it.
Project yourself five years from now. Where would you want to be in life? If you like the reading and have a deep desire to change or improve your entire life for good. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to invite you to join us on this journey of success. We have a Step-by-Step blue print done just for you.
Surround yourself with positive and successful people.
I wish you the best SUCCESS!
Silvio Marques
Do you find yourself banging your head against the situations that keep going on and on? Are you caught up in a revolving door going around and around? When you take a good look at where you are in life, do you think you should be doing something else?
Not to long ago, I stopped and reviewed my goals. But there are some days when I feel very frustrated. I feel like I am spinning my wheels in the mud. You might be thinking that I am a dreamer... or at least crazy. Well? I'm crazy enough to pursue my dreams. I definitely have BIG dreams.
I feel blessed! Because I have challenge each and everyday to be conquered, I face everyday with excitement and passion.
I'm doing what I truly love. I love interact with people. Life is wonderful just because of the fact I'm alive, compared to the horrors we see out there. I am successfully pressing on to greater things. But I have had my share of frustration along the way.
Well, unlike many who are too busy trying to make a living instead of projecting a life, I took the time to examine what I might be doing wrong.
Let me tell you something: To busy doesn't mean you are successful, just because you're busy doesn't mean prosperity. In fact, if you are to busy, probably you don't have time to make real money at all!!!
So I discovered myself doing my things in the opposite way what I really desired. And that may be your problem, too. Let me explain.
Let say you are the owner of a big field, and you sow an olive seed, but you're thinking to reap grapes. But it seems as though that is exactly what we are trying to do when it comes to aligning the seeds in our minds versus the harvest we want as a result.
You have to see it done on the unseen field first, than you'll have on your hands right on time. Seeds of doubt and fear planted in our minds can reap their own sort of crop. If you wake up doubting whether you will make it or not, it doesn't matter how much you have done for the day, you will not make much progress. You must believe!
We can't afford to let people dump their frustrations and other negative opinions in our heads. Don't you dare let them do that to yourself, get over it!
Fear is like a weed. Once there, will grow and fight against the good in you. Don't let it suffocate you. You must saturate your mind with good until you have your goal turned reality. God never lets us down. We let ourselves down. Does that make sense to you?
Growing in online home business
isn't something that just happens to the lucky or to the people who are very talented. It happens to the person that sees the opportunity and goes for it.
Project yourself five years from now. Where would you want to be in life? If you like the reading and have a deep desire to change or improve your entire life for good. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to invite you to join us on this journey of success. We have a Step-by-Step blue print done just for you.
Surround yourself with positive and successful people.
I wish you the best SUCCESS!
Silvio Marques
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
African American View on You - Black Love, Life and Spirituality: Boggs Rural Life Center is Collecting Books Writte...
African American View on You - Black Love, Life and Spirituality: Boggs Rural Life Center is Collecting Books Writte...: Interested in assisting an organization stock their library shelves with your work or the books of other African American writers? If so, B...
Thursday, November 5, 2015
On to Another Project...
Presently, years of research as well as private and public writings are being sorted for an interesting compilation about my daily personal journey uncovering truth in all its forms. From family to media, there is much to be discovered when you start questioning things like: spiritual beliefs, holiday traditions, government, media, education, parenting practices, relationship, and more. Through this process of truth-seeking, one grows spiritually, mentally and physically while freeing his or herself from regrets, pain, resentments, lies and more. It is then that you become better equipped to help others.
I recognize that in order to attain certain things in life, one must be willing to step outside the box of his or her mind (personal perceptions, judgments, etc.), make some sacrifices, and strive to become the best you can be at anything you set your mind to do. However, you can't do that when you are bogged down with negativity from media and other mediums, opposition from those who are envious and hateful, others' perceptions of what they think you ought to be, as well as all the other things that come with caring too much about anyone and anything in this temporal life. At some point, one must slow down and ask, "What am I really doing? What do I sincerely want out of life and what will make me most happy?"
Many of us have spent years attempting to appease others and not nearly enough time soul-searching and making room in our lives for truth. Dispelling all the lies you have been told from childhood on, is just the beginning to discovering your life's purpose and whether or not who you are today is an accurate depiction of the real you within. There are far too many actors and actresses on the screen and off the screen lost in a maze having no clue as to what true love, peace, happiness, and freedom really is, due to minds being suffocated by too many insignificant people, places and things. Many individuals who are determined to make their lives worth living, discover the kind of truth that lifts them up and it is clear that they are blessed beyond material wealth. Others may have much, but lack wisdom and eventually find that personal burdens they thought they could manage for years are robbing them of their lives and healthy connections and strides they could have made, "If only..." This truth is often uncovered while the dying are lying on backsides with tubes up their noses as their heartbeats begin to slow, but by that time it is too late.
I thank the many people whose work over the years has caused me to think differently about a number of personal and professional decisions I have made over my lifetime with the prompting of a bit of unhealthy media brainwashing, religious and educational programming, dysfunctional connections, etc. I had been puzzled by many things over the years, yet my conscious mind had been quieted with unproductive distractions while my unconscious mind yelled, "Something is wrong with who you are speaking to...where you are going...who you are connecting to..."
There are many good teachers on YouTube that greedy corporations attempt to censor, steal ideas from, discredit, and work to get videos removed. I am grateful and feel blessed to have watched their work online. I am providing some sources in my work that I hope readers will consider during their truth-seeking journeys.
Well that's it for now, I will make an announcement here and on other sites when my book is complete.
Be blessed,
Nicholl
I recognize that in order to attain certain things in life, one must be willing to step outside the box of his or her mind (personal perceptions, judgments, etc.), make some sacrifices, and strive to become the best you can be at anything you set your mind to do. However, you can't do that when you are bogged down with negativity from media and other mediums, opposition from those who are envious and hateful, others' perceptions of what they think you ought to be, as well as all the other things that come with caring too much about anyone and anything in this temporal life. At some point, one must slow down and ask, "What am I really doing? What do I sincerely want out of life and what will make me most happy?"
Many of us have spent years attempting to appease others and not nearly enough time soul-searching and making room in our lives for truth. Dispelling all the lies you have been told from childhood on, is just the beginning to discovering your life's purpose and whether or not who you are today is an accurate depiction of the real you within. There are far too many actors and actresses on the screen and off the screen lost in a maze having no clue as to what true love, peace, happiness, and freedom really is, due to minds being suffocated by too many insignificant people, places and things. Many individuals who are determined to make their lives worth living, discover the kind of truth that lifts them up and it is clear that they are blessed beyond material wealth. Others may have much, but lack wisdom and eventually find that personal burdens they thought they could manage for years are robbing them of their lives and healthy connections and strides they could have made, "If only..." This truth is often uncovered while the dying are lying on backsides with tubes up their noses as their heartbeats begin to slow, but by that time it is too late.
I thank the many people whose work over the years has caused me to think differently about a number of personal and professional decisions I have made over my lifetime with the prompting of a bit of unhealthy media brainwashing, religious and educational programming, dysfunctional connections, etc. I had been puzzled by many things over the years, yet my conscious mind had been quieted with unproductive distractions while my unconscious mind yelled, "Something is wrong with who you are speaking to...where you are going...who you are connecting to..."
There are many good teachers on YouTube that greedy corporations attempt to censor, steal ideas from, discredit, and work to get videos removed. I am grateful and feel blessed to have watched their work online. I am providing some sources in my work that I hope readers will consider during their truth-seeking journeys.
Well that's it for now, I will make an announcement here and on other sites when my book is complete.
Be blessed,
Nicholl
Friday, April 24, 2009
Are Some Things Better Left Unsaid?
How do you know when you should keep some things to yourself without being a recluse and share other things without looking foolish? There is a fine line between the two when it comes to writing and so I will take this time to explain.
You see, when I write I have my boundaries I will not cross. If I know a person and he or she is in my inner circle I will tell a story using fictional names and in some cases change the situation a bit. I don't feel it is necessary to share specific details about the person I know since the story is all the reader is really after. As for the person who the story is about, they will feel naked, exposed, even insulted that I would actually share such details about their life. Of course he or she would, because they know who I am talking about. At first it seems like a shock, "how dare you put my business out in the street?" But in time it wears off.
I have been writing stories about people since the sixth grade. I will never forget the short stories I use to write about certain classmates and how I would change their names making a guessing game out of who the story was about. Back then, my classmates got a kick out of it. There were times that some people were offended even as young as we were (11, 12), but they got over it. Especially if it meant that a cute boy or girl liked them. It just meant that they would have to dress better, act better, etc. I was selective about the stories I told and not everything was meant to be said. Anyway, as an adult, I know what I won't discuss when it comes to certain subjects and even I have my limitations. For example, I will not discuss a topic I am not completely comfortable. I will avoid subject matter that is so revealing that it could possibly put someone in a mental ward, jail, break up a relationship, or destroy some other aspect of their life. I also won't talk about subjects I know nothing about unless I have specific information from experts to back up what I am saying.
I enjoy writing about parenting issues, relationships, and other topics related to lifestyle. But what I try to stay away from, unless someone specifically requests I write about it are the following: politics, racial topics outside my own unless I have a personal experience, and religions outside of Christianity. The way I see it there are plenty of people who are passionate enough about these subjects that they can write about them.
I personally believe that for every negative situation that has happened in my life, God has called me to share certain experiences that directly or indirectly affect me. I feel that I am called to help people who simply can't speak for themselves, aren't knowledgeable enough to write about issues that affect them, or just don't want to be bothered with the negative comments that come from writing. Oh I have had my share of negative, ignorant, downright bold statements, and even threats as a result of some of the things I have written about, especially having worked as an Editor in Chief of a college newspaper. I believe that reading audience is the worse! They don't spare your feelings about anything! But I have also had some very positive and life changing stories told to me due to subjects I write about as well.
I have also noticed some things that readers who read my work need to be mindful of and that is when you are making comments about the things you read, some things are better left unsaid just like some subjects are better left not written about as I discussed earlier. The truth of the matter is an article cannot cover all sides, all people, all opinions, and all experiences, because if it did you would be reading a book not an article.
The quickest way to show your true ignorance, readers, about a subject is to say something like, "What about..." What about is usually followed by the other side of an issue that has nothing to do with the subject matter. For instance, if the article is about "Things Women Hate About Men," why would men comment that the article is so one-sided? Another concern some one brought to my attention is "Why do you talk about all the negative issues in your articles, what about the positives?" That's because most of my articles are the kind that solve problems. So why would I talk about how everything is wonderful and nice when that has nothing to do with the problem that the article is trying to solve. I usually provide advice in my articles so that would cover the "positive" spin to the article. Take for instance an article on "Why Husbands Should Be more Supportive of their Wives" this would be considered an editorial piece or possibly a self-help work because of the question "why" in the title. Immediately you know from reading this title that there will be many problems listed in the article and what men should do to solve those problems. If you are a man who isn't interested in problem solving in your own relationship, you would stay away from an article like this, because you know at some point it will offend you.
So is everything worth writing about? Sure. But should you write about everything? It depends. If the goal is to help, I find the more detail the better, if you have to protect some of the people involved but still feel the need to tell the story do so! However, anticipate the phone will ring or some one might visit just be prepared to defend your argument!
Nicholl McGuire
Writer
You see, when I write I have my boundaries I will not cross. If I know a person and he or she is in my inner circle I will tell a story using fictional names and in some cases change the situation a bit. I don't feel it is necessary to share specific details about the person I know since the story is all the reader is really after. As for the person who the story is about, they will feel naked, exposed, even insulted that I would actually share such details about their life. Of course he or she would, because they know who I am talking about. At first it seems like a shock, "how dare you put my business out in the street?" But in time it wears off.
I have been writing stories about people since the sixth grade. I will never forget the short stories I use to write about certain classmates and how I would change their names making a guessing game out of who the story was about. Back then, my classmates got a kick out of it. There were times that some people were offended even as young as we were (11, 12), but they got over it. Especially if it meant that a cute boy or girl liked them. It just meant that they would have to dress better, act better, etc. I was selective about the stories I told and not everything was meant to be said. Anyway, as an adult, I know what I won't discuss when it comes to certain subjects and even I have my limitations. For example, I will not discuss a topic I am not completely comfortable. I will avoid subject matter that is so revealing that it could possibly put someone in a mental ward, jail, break up a relationship, or destroy some other aspect of their life. I also won't talk about subjects I know nothing about unless I have specific information from experts to back up what I am saying.
I enjoy writing about parenting issues, relationships, and other topics related to lifestyle. But what I try to stay away from, unless someone specifically requests I write about it are the following: politics, racial topics outside my own unless I have a personal experience, and religions outside of Christianity. The way I see it there are plenty of people who are passionate enough about these subjects that they can write about them.
I personally believe that for every negative situation that has happened in my life, God has called me to share certain experiences that directly or indirectly affect me. I feel that I am called to help people who simply can't speak for themselves, aren't knowledgeable enough to write about issues that affect them, or just don't want to be bothered with the negative comments that come from writing. Oh I have had my share of negative, ignorant, downright bold statements, and even threats as a result of some of the things I have written about, especially having worked as an Editor in Chief of a college newspaper. I believe that reading audience is the worse! They don't spare your feelings about anything! But I have also had some very positive and life changing stories told to me due to subjects I write about as well.
I have also noticed some things that readers who read my work need to be mindful of and that is when you are making comments about the things you read, some things are better left unsaid just like some subjects are better left not written about as I discussed earlier. The truth of the matter is an article cannot cover all sides, all people, all opinions, and all experiences, because if it did you would be reading a book not an article.
The quickest way to show your true ignorance, readers, about a subject is to say something like, "What about..." What about is usually followed by the other side of an issue that has nothing to do with the subject matter. For instance, if the article is about "Things Women Hate About Men," why would men comment that the article is so one-sided? Another concern some one brought to my attention is "Why do you talk about all the negative issues in your articles, what about the positives?" That's because most of my articles are the kind that solve problems. So why would I talk about how everything is wonderful and nice when that has nothing to do with the problem that the article is trying to solve. I usually provide advice in my articles so that would cover the "positive" spin to the article. Take for instance an article on "Why Husbands Should Be more Supportive of their Wives" this would be considered an editorial piece or possibly a self-help work because of the question "why" in the title. Immediately you know from reading this title that there will be many problems listed in the article and what men should do to solve those problems. If you are a man who isn't interested in problem solving in your own relationship, you would stay away from an article like this, because you know at some point it will offend you.
So is everything worth writing about? Sure. But should you write about everything? It depends. If the goal is to help, I find the more detail the better, if you have to protect some of the people involved but still feel the need to tell the story do so! However, anticipate the phone will ring or some one might visit just be prepared to defend your argument!
Nicholl McGuire
Writer
Monday, February 17, 2014
There's Nothing Easy about Being Me
You have those who congratulate you on a job well done. Others will say nothing while wishing you fall flat on your face. From disrespectful comments to eye-rolls, some of my writings and topics I speak about offend. Truth doesn't win me life-long friends--never did, never will. I think of the Bible, when Jesus said, "They will hate you because of me..." He was so right!
"Keep your mouth closed...don't say anything...just smile..." I grew up around people who never wanted anything said about anything truthfully speaking. If you got a little courage about yourself and let loose with your tongue, there was always the threat of violence looming. If you didn't want to reap the consequences, you just might turn and walk away, but not before experiencing "payback." In my 'hood, payback was nothing more than revenge. Sooner or later someone was going to pay you back for speaking truth. Protest your parents' unfairness, payback. Speak up about a shady friend in the camp, payback. Tell what a relative was really doing when no one was looking, payback. So you walked on eggshells wondering when the day would come that you would be confronted on what you said. What a life for a child, right?
Looking back, so-called "private" folks, who liked to stay out of people's business (yet always in it), weren't liked very much. Those that typically didn't mind talking about themselves, would withdraw when the "private" folks came around certain loved ones in my family. "Don't tell her anything," I was told. "Because she doesn't share any information about her self or family." Therefore, as a child, I would have to limit my conversations, carefully pay attention to every word, select certain things to say and not while speaking to adults. Sometimes one couldn't always remember the rules in the playbook, so there was a price to pay if you didn't keep someone's lie or cover-up straight.
Thank God, I'm not a child anymore! Having been exposed to all sorts of personality disorders dressed up with so-called normalcy growing up, I have learned quite a bit from the impostors--probably too much. It is difficult at times walking around in my body, seeing what I see in people, sometimes I can see through people, right down to the foolishness in a person's story, notice their odd expressions/mannerisms, or experience their negative vibe--sometimes all at once. It can be difficult to be content with some loved ones when you know the truth behind their fake smiles with others while pointing the finger at you as if you are so wrong, weird, crazy, etc. I get this sort of attitude quite often from sexist males who feel threatened by a spiritual woman.
When you are a person that has been challenged much in life, it isn't always easy connecting with people in the way that you had hoped. Sure, you pray for the best in your relationships and partnerships, but sometimes even God warns, "No matter what you say, what you think you know, you don't know about XYZ person. Watch while I work." God never tells me, "I told you so..." Rather, I usually find one of his life tests soon after on what I learned or didn't learn about people.
You can hear many revelations of my spiritual journey and advice on YouTube, listen here.
Stay blessed.
Nicholl McGuire
"Keep your mouth closed...don't say anything...just smile..." I grew up around people who never wanted anything said about anything truthfully speaking. If you got a little courage about yourself and let loose with your tongue, there was always the threat of violence looming. If you didn't want to reap the consequences, you just might turn and walk away, but not before experiencing "payback." In my 'hood, payback was nothing more than revenge. Sooner or later someone was going to pay you back for speaking truth. Protest your parents' unfairness, payback. Speak up about a shady friend in the camp, payback. Tell what a relative was really doing when no one was looking, payback. So you walked on eggshells wondering when the day would come that you would be confronted on what you said. What a life for a child, right?
Looking back, so-called "private" folks, who liked to stay out of people's business (yet always in it), weren't liked very much. Those that typically didn't mind talking about themselves, would withdraw when the "private" folks came around certain loved ones in my family. "Don't tell her anything," I was told. "Because she doesn't share any information about her self or family." Therefore, as a child, I would have to limit my conversations, carefully pay attention to every word, select certain things to say and not while speaking to adults. Sometimes one couldn't always remember the rules in the playbook, so there was a price to pay if you didn't keep someone's lie or cover-up straight.
Thank God, I'm not a child anymore! Having been exposed to all sorts of personality disorders dressed up with so-called normalcy growing up, I have learned quite a bit from the impostors--probably too much. It is difficult at times walking around in my body, seeing what I see in people, sometimes I can see through people, right down to the foolishness in a person's story, notice their odd expressions/mannerisms, or experience their negative vibe--sometimes all at once. It can be difficult to be content with some loved ones when you know the truth behind their fake smiles with others while pointing the finger at you as if you are so wrong, weird, crazy, etc. I get this sort of attitude quite often from sexist males who feel threatened by a spiritual woman.
When you are a person that has been challenged much in life, it isn't always easy connecting with people in the way that you had hoped. Sure, you pray for the best in your relationships and partnerships, but sometimes even God warns, "No matter what you say, what you think you know, you don't know about XYZ person. Watch while I work." God never tells me, "I told you so..." Rather, I usually find one of his life tests soon after on what I learned or didn't learn about people.
You can hear many revelations of my spiritual journey and advice on YouTube, listen here.
Stay blessed.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday, June 29, 2022
On Writing About Yourself
"I was thinking..." the start of a statement like that and it puts everyone on notice. Yes, thinking can be dangerous to anyone who chooses to act in fear rather than love. I choose love and have been choosing love when I write for decades contrary to what any critic would like to think! I love victims, survivors and victors. I have trouble loving enemies that is why I lean on God since he commanded we do so. This is why it is a must that I tackle any work I produce with God in the plan, because any other way I would then consider myself a fraud. I don't agree nor do I support that kind of foolishness!
Maybe it would be easier for some of you reading this blog post to draw out your personal truths by doing the following: writing a song, singing, drawing, painting, dancing, acting, producing a play or traveling. Whatever you choose to do, don't leave this world without being honest with yourself and those around you!
Let's start with a little self-examination, shall we? Prior to you reaching out to me or someone else to possibly tell your story, consider the following:
1) What do you want the world to know about you and why should they care?
2) Who are you really trying to help?
3) Why should we listen to you?
4) Will you approach the work ready to pay to create it, cry as you reflect on past memories, beg someone for a second chance, borrow from those who don't mind sharing, avoid the temptation to steal from those who put their time in..., are you sincerely ready to complete what beckons you to share?
5) How about who or what is it that inspires, motivates, and moves you to love them, and once again, why should we care?
6) When do you plan to pen, speak, or type your work and how might you stay motivated in completing your work?
7) What if you knew you were going to die tomorrow would all the hope to create your work really be necessary?
Part of knowing whether you are in fact honest with yourself and others is to interview yourself. You will soon discover that you aren't ready just yet, but your getting there. So go back to doing what makes you feel comfortable, isn't that what typically happens anyway? Whatever it is that keeps you distracted from tending to what really matters and that is what your soul is telling you.
The reason why most people don't really commit to writing a book or any creative work that exposes them (although they desire to) other than those laughable excuses, "I'm too busy" or "I don't know what to write about," is they know they can't be honest with themselves or anyone else! Those excuses, depending on who is saying them and how they are saying them, are funny to me, because I know they make plenty of time prepping food for a holiday gathering where stuffing faces is a requirement and I know they have some idea of what to talk about, because they sure know how to talk themselves out of doing things that might leave them feeling vulnerable or talk about what others are doing that they are not! Therefore, there is still time for some individuals to figure out what they would like to leave behind for us all, but not so much for the many hard-hearted (even in my own family.)
People aren't getting any younger and so the clock of life continues to tick. The thought of why you made certain life choices and not others gets buried. Why you do what you do is never explained. Who you really are when there is no makeup, wig, or nails polished...? What you really stand for when no one is interviewing you? When did you stop striving for that one dream and picked up a career instead? Why you married who you did and did you ever plan on being a parent?
A lot of people will check out of this world never telling us how old they are, who their parents are, the secret life they have lived, how broke they really are...we will learn from kinfolk or strangers, we will learn something in their passing that would have been better said had they told that above ground.
When you write or create something about you, let it be honest, straight from the heart! Be vulnerable share your regrets, faults, and other weaknesses just as much as you share your achievements! Social media is encouraging false narratives to be told for many people. Let me help you write an honest life story in your very own words! Begin your journey with me today! We will go over your book idea and as your book coach, I will be there to encourage and advise for a reasonable rate. Simply send an email to:nichollmcguire@yahoo.com with, "I need a book coach" in the header.
Most recently I decided to finally share a chapter of who I am, not in the traditional fashion of nonfiction books filled with challenges and wisdom like what I have already written (I have 17 self-published books now), but simply showing my story in stillness and peace I have found during my family moves. I started out in Pennsylvania; however, I have lived in Ohio, Georgia, Colorado, California, Illinois and have visited my share of states.
I didn't build upon any of my creative works by diving right in; rather, I started my writing quests in stillness then the words came. In order to visually see what I am talking about and wear one of my timeless gift items, check out my new shop, "Stillness Gifts" here. I will be periodically adding more products soon. Feel free to like, share, and purchase these eye-catching items today!
Nicholl
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Programmed by the Media
In recent years, I awoke gradually, to the realization that my thoughts were never my own as long as I fed my mind a daily dose of: television, radio, print, and Internet news for hours non-stop. When would I ever allow for time to simply think for myself—to draw my own conclusions about what I saw and read?
The people who I trusted to be my mentors and teachers were big TV watchers too. They offered me advice based on what they “heard or read somewhere.” I had been a victim of a plan for my life that included lies, pre-conceived notions, stereotypes, ignorance, and religious propaganda from both the good and evil sides. When I looked around at what I thought was my reality, reflected on my past, and envisioned what my future might look like, it was a hard-truth to swallow, that nothing was as it seemed, I like so many others, had been programmed to ignore me.
“Who was I really? How did I get here? Whose idea was it to create nature? What was my purpose? Why is one of the oldest books in the world still the most important—the Bible? Why should I care about the strangers in the media who live and then die? What did it matter that some statistic said one thing or another? Who told me that I had to go to college on money I couldn’t afford to ever pay back? Why is it that only select individuals are allowed to grace the cover of magazines, sell the top records, get the best acting parts and so on, while the rest of us could only wish? Why should I celebrate holidays?”
After all the questions, the tears and the fears, I had finally arrived to adulthood in my thirty-something years. There was no more going along just to get along. No more accepting everything and everyone because someone told me it was the “politically correct” thing to do. I no longer saw a need to act like someone other than myself! It was no longer necessary to join civic groups and religious organizations just to feel like I was doing something to make life better for my children and I! No more pressure to celebrate national holidays and commemorate the deceased year after year. I had broken some of the shackles that had stifled me from being a free-thinking human being. Being an African American, woman, mother, writer and every other title that I had been born into or became, wasn’t as important as it used to be.
I had to learn to acknowledge a Creator that wasn’t outside of me, but the one, some call Jesus, who left a gift that lives inside of me called the Holy Spirit. For years, He had had been whispering to me, since I was child, long before I studied a Bible. When I look back on my life, I know now that it was always in His plan to use me. Some of you are being called while you read this blog entry, here’s your word, “It’s time to put off childish rebellion!” Ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart and use you. (Read or re-read the Book of Acts and the gospels in the King James or New International Versions to understand some of what I am talking about regarding the Holy Spirit.)
The Holy Spirit wasn’t my mother’s God, my grandmother’s Lord, my friend’s “daddy,” or a cousin’s Allah, He was someone that I had to make up in my mind, body and spirit to embrace. By allowing myself to be subjected to another world, beyond this one, the blinders would slowly come off and years of programming would gradually diminish.
Since 2009, I have looked at our world in a different light. There is no more going along with the TV and radio “programming” any longer. Before that year, I had zero interest in digging for news outside of what was fed to me. It took a simple search for a musician’s name and a short reading of her lyrical content to show me that I had best stop polluting myself with lies.
I am not so trusting anymore about what I see and read. I question everything now more than I had back when I was a journalism student in high school and college. I’m not interested in sharing someone else’s account of things like: religion, health, finances, culture, art, and more like I once was without finding out more and sharing my own personal testimony if necessary. It is more important these days to do your own research and formulate your own opinions even if typical protocol says, “Leave your opinion out of it.” Create your own printed materials, ie.) Nicholl McGuire Media.
Just as there are spirits who help, there are those we allow into our lives that hurt us! One such spirit I would like to call, “lazy.” I, like so many others, have been subjected to this lazy spirit for decades! It tempted me to just get the news from someone else, get your food from someone else, get your housing from someone else, get your counseling from someone else, learn about God from someone else and on and on and on until I grew dependent on someone else! The words that I heard from the media, our government, even relatives I accepted as fact; rather than question them deeply (you know beyond the surface knowledge.) I trusted others that the food they were making was safe for my body. I believed that as long as I had a place to stay, no worries. If a relationship wasn’t what I liked, I reasoned you just get someone else.
The lazy spirit didn’t want me to ponder too long on an uncovered misconception, a lie, or a deceitful practice, it just wanted me to do nothing more than listen and keep your opinions to yourself. The spirit always comforted me with, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. If you say something, someone might get mad.” Even though I wanted to scream, “It’s not okay! Someone is lying! I need to know the truth.” The lazy spirit distracted me from the truth convincing me that my immature mindset couldn’t handle the truth.
Now that I have reached a place in my life where I see a small light at the end of the tunnel, I must not turn back now, I must keep going toward the light. The last time I saw a light was back in 1992, it was a false flag, I was lying in bed deathly ill at 18 years old from pneumonia and other illnesses. I wanted so bad to walk toward that beautiful light, but a small voice wouldn’t let me. When I awoke that night after sleeping for almost a day, I felt bad, but I knew I had to continue to live, not for me, but for Him, my Lord--he wasn't through with me yet.
A roommate drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said she brought me to the hospital just in time. He told me one wrong move on my part, a shove or a bump to my spleen at the time, and I would have been dead—that’s just how ill I had become, I could barely walk or speak at that time. “You are a very sick young woman,” the doctor said. But God is a healer and I have never been that sick since. When my Lord is ready to take me home, He will. In the meantime, I have things to do and one of them is uncovering lies.
Nicholl McGuire
The people who I trusted to be my mentors and teachers were big TV watchers too. They offered me advice based on what they “heard or read somewhere.” I had been a victim of a plan for my life that included lies, pre-conceived notions, stereotypes, ignorance, and religious propaganda from both the good and evil sides. When I looked around at what I thought was my reality, reflected on my past, and envisioned what my future might look like, it was a hard-truth to swallow, that nothing was as it seemed, I like so many others, had been programmed to ignore me.
“Who was I really? How did I get here? Whose idea was it to create nature? What was my purpose? Why is one of the oldest books in the world still the most important—the Bible? Why should I care about the strangers in the media who live and then die? What did it matter that some statistic said one thing or another? Who told me that I had to go to college on money I couldn’t afford to ever pay back? Why is it that only select individuals are allowed to grace the cover of magazines, sell the top records, get the best acting parts and so on, while the rest of us could only wish? Why should I celebrate holidays?”
After all the questions, the tears and the fears, I had finally arrived to adulthood in my thirty-something years. There was no more going along just to get along. No more accepting everything and everyone because someone told me it was the “politically correct” thing to do. I no longer saw a need to act like someone other than myself! It was no longer necessary to join civic groups and religious organizations just to feel like I was doing something to make life better for my children and I! No more pressure to celebrate national holidays and commemorate the deceased year after year. I had broken some of the shackles that had stifled me from being a free-thinking human being. Being an African American, woman, mother, writer and every other title that I had been born into or became, wasn’t as important as it used to be.
I had to learn to acknowledge a Creator that wasn’t outside of me, but the one, some call Jesus, who left a gift that lives inside of me called the Holy Spirit. For years, He had had been whispering to me, since I was child, long before I studied a Bible. When I look back on my life, I know now that it was always in His plan to use me. Some of you are being called while you read this blog entry, here’s your word, “It’s time to put off childish rebellion!” Ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart and use you. (Read or re-read the Book of Acts and the gospels in the King James or New International Versions to understand some of what I am talking about regarding the Holy Spirit.)
The Holy Spirit wasn’t my mother’s God, my grandmother’s Lord, my friend’s “daddy,” or a cousin’s Allah, He was someone that I had to make up in my mind, body and spirit to embrace. By allowing myself to be subjected to another world, beyond this one, the blinders would slowly come off and years of programming would gradually diminish.
Since 2009, I have looked at our world in a different light. There is no more going along with the TV and radio “programming” any longer. Before that year, I had zero interest in digging for news outside of what was fed to me. It took a simple search for a musician’s name and a short reading of her lyrical content to show me that I had best stop polluting myself with lies.
I am not so trusting anymore about what I see and read. I question everything now more than I had back when I was a journalism student in high school and college. I’m not interested in sharing someone else’s account of things like: religion, health, finances, culture, art, and more like I once was without finding out more and sharing my own personal testimony if necessary. It is more important these days to do your own research and formulate your own opinions even if typical protocol says, “Leave your opinion out of it.” Create your own printed materials, ie.) Nicholl McGuire Media.
Just as there are spirits who help, there are those we allow into our lives that hurt us! One such spirit I would like to call, “lazy.” I, like so many others, have been subjected to this lazy spirit for decades! It tempted me to just get the news from someone else, get your food from someone else, get your housing from someone else, get your counseling from someone else, learn about God from someone else and on and on and on until I grew dependent on someone else! The words that I heard from the media, our government, even relatives I accepted as fact; rather than question them deeply (you know beyond the surface knowledge.) I trusted others that the food they were making was safe for my body. I believed that as long as I had a place to stay, no worries. If a relationship wasn’t what I liked, I reasoned you just get someone else.
The lazy spirit didn’t want me to ponder too long on an uncovered misconception, a lie, or a deceitful practice, it just wanted me to do nothing more than listen and keep your opinions to yourself. The spirit always comforted me with, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. If you say something, someone might get mad.” Even though I wanted to scream, “It’s not okay! Someone is lying! I need to know the truth.” The lazy spirit distracted me from the truth convincing me that my immature mindset couldn’t handle the truth.
Now that I have reached a place in my life where I see a small light at the end of the tunnel, I must not turn back now, I must keep going toward the light. The last time I saw a light was back in 1992, it was a false flag, I was lying in bed deathly ill at 18 years old from pneumonia and other illnesses. I wanted so bad to walk toward that beautiful light, but a small voice wouldn’t let me. When I awoke that night after sleeping for almost a day, I felt bad, but I knew I had to continue to live, not for me, but for Him, my Lord--he wasn't through with me yet.
A roommate drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said she brought me to the hospital just in time. He told me one wrong move on my part, a shove or a bump to my spleen at the time, and I would have been dead—that’s just how ill I had become, I could barely walk or speak at that time. “You are a very sick young woman,” the doctor said. But God is a healer and I have never been that sick since. When my Lord is ready to take me home, He will. In the meantime, I have things to do and one of them is uncovering lies.
Nicholl McGuire
Monday, October 13, 2008
How to Avoid Insecure Women Friends: Beautiful People with Low Self-Esteem
"You were destined to be great! Beautiful, smart, unique, talented and you will never have a problem getting your foot in anyone's door!" Some of you may have received similar compliments from well-meaning family, friends and strangers. You may know this about yourself, so you may take it like a grain of salt. However, some of you may not know this, and that is why this article is being written. Beautiful people with low self-esteem are targets for some unattractive people who are insecure. They hope to befriend you to get what they want! Hence, the expression, beauty can be a blessing and a curse.
Over the years you may have been friends with the ugly guy, the fat girl, the boy with the acne, the girl with the freckles and everyone else in between. Back when you were in elementary and high school you may not have thought too much about these people other than the fact that they were teased and you pitied them. You may have been one of the ugly ducklings that grew up to be a beautiful swan. With all that said, you may not have realized how attractive you were until the guys started telling you how nice looking you were and the girls around you started acting envious. Now if you were use to hanging out with the not-so attractive crowd, the attention you were receiving from people could have been a turn off or a turn on, but lurking underneath it all you knew you had secretly struggled with your own self-esteem. Years later you still struggle.
While you think you are not pretty to the rest of the world, the ugly people know different and that is why some of those annoying, jealous, and insecure women have been approaching you over the years. For the purpose of this article let's define ugly as you see it. Physically not appealing, bad personality, loud mouth, angry whatever you consider to be unattractive. Now you mustn't confuse the ugly woman with the unattractive women who have no problem with their self-esteem, but are simply looking for a good friend. The sincerely good-hearted, unattractive woman will not seem desperate, annoying or overbearing. She doesn't need you or what you have, she is confident in who she is and if anything, you may be able to benefit from her. This is not the type of woman this article references. However, the ugly woman on the inside and out is who this article is about and you know her. She is in your circle of friends and you are trying to get her out. She was your yesteryear's mistake, the one you befriended when you couldn't wait for the right friend to come along, similar to your past boyfriends, but that is another article.
The ugly woman knows what you are and how she can benefit from you even if you don't. She noticed you from afar like the man staring at you from a distance hoping to get your name and phone number. She invites herself into your personal space with a conversation starter. A simple complaint about something, a compliment on the way you look, a tidbit of office gossip, or other statements. You entertain her with a response and then over time you seem to bump into her where ever you go, at the office, where you live, at school, shopping or some event. (Now everyone you bump into isn't meant to be your friend as you have learned the hard way.) When the ugly woman sees you again, you may be with a relative, friend, your children or alone and now she has even more to talk about. "Oh this is your son. You must be the sister. Wow you must be the husband." At first her approach seems ordinary, matter of fact, nothing special, and you don't think twice about this insecure woman. Then she begins her requests of "let's do lunch, give me your phone number, I know a great place we could go to..." So you take her up on her offer and you find that she is a really nice person. You enjoy her company and she seems to enjoy you until...
She starts calling you too often, dropping by unannounced, showing up unexpectedly at places you frequent, and complimenting you far too many times than you can handle. "You are always dressed so nice. Your hair is so cute. Your figure is nice, I wish I was that small. You have a great shape. You are beautiful you can have any man you want." What started out as nice compliments have become overwhelming and you are beginning to question if this woman is sexually attracted to you, insecure, lonely, jealous and/or confused. Most likely, she is insecure. Think about how many times you went out with her and how many men looked at her as compared to you? When you showed up wearing something new what did her eyes say, not her mouth? What about when you ordered more food than she did at the restaurant, how did she react? When you offered to do some physical activity together like take a walk, did she object? How about when you bought her something nice or offered her money, how did she react to your gift? When she calls you on the phone and you are not available to answer her call, what does she say? How often does she contact you or visit? If your answer to any of these questions makes you feel uncomfortable, chances are you have an insecure woman in your life and sometimes these kind of women aren't easy to let go.
You may be growing tired of her and have told her in so many ways, yet she just doesn't seem to get the message. Other people may have noticed things about her that make them feel uncomfortable too. The "I don't want to be a b*tch" girl inside of you may have dismissed what they said by making excuses for her actions, "My friend is just lonely, she needs a friend. Look at her, she isn't that pretty, etc." However, while you are trying to justify her irrational, controlling behavior, she is growing weary of your friendship too, because she is no longer getting what she wants from you. Maybe she enjoyed riding in your car, wearing your clothes, shopping, talking long hours on the phone and more. She doesn't know how to let go of you either, so rather than retreat from the friendship she keeps it going.
If you are still ducking and dodging your "friend," then you are at an interesting place in your friendship with her. She may have found someone else to annoy who may know you. She begins to confide in this person about everything including what you have told her. She bad mouths you, says hurtful things about the way you look, how you speak or anything else that she may be envious about to this mutual friend. Her words travel back to you and now you are left angry, confused and bitter. "The audacity she would talk about me and allowed her ugly self into my life!" Well, if you would have took the time to notice the signs early on, she wouldn't be in your life, now would she? You could have broken up with her similar to the way you ended your relationships with past boyfriends. "I like you, but you are crowding my space. I think we should see other people." Remember those days? So why is it that women don't cut their losses with these insecure women friends? Because you don't want to hurt her feelings. Now look at whose feelings are hurt!? If there is anything you should remember from this article is watch the company you keep!
If you have reached this place in your so-called friendship with this insecure woman, that was your "out" in this friendship. The following are a list of other ways to handle the insecure women friends you have in your life and how to safeguard yourself from ones in the future.
Here's four points on how to handle the insecure women.
1) Don't invite them over to your home or any other place or event.
2) Avoid confrontation by telling them how you feel about the friendship over the phone.
3) Stop using them for anything you may or may not need such as companionship, food and other household products, car, childcare, money, employment, etc.
4) Don't introduce them to anymore of your family members or friends.
5) Gradually become distant. If you talked everyday, make it every other day for a week or two, then once a week and eventually no calls at all.
Here's how to safeguard yourself from an insecure woman.
1) Know what the two of you might have in common before you go out with them. For example, if she doesn't like to workout and you do, chances are she will grow envious of your body shape. If she doesn't dress nice in the public and you do, she may have a lot to say with her eyes or her mouth about the way you look.
2) Don't confide in her about any relationship problems you might be having with your mate.
3) Delay inviting her over your home to meet your family as long as you can until you feel comfortable you really know her. (She may have saw your man first before she saw you.)
4) Study the way she conducts herself in public and particularly around men. If she is a big flirt or tease and dresses provocatively, would you want her around your man and children?
5) Find out if she has other friends besides you. She will most likely give you signs she doesn't by how often you see her wherever the two of you first met.
6) Ask her about her hobbies such as watch TV, read, write, dance, workout, shop, etc. If she has none, keep away.
7) Talk to her about controversial things and watch her reaction. You will know right away if this is someone you can have an intelligent conversation.
8) Talk about general things such as family, children, employment and see if she can hold a conversation about these basic topics. If you find she doesn't have much to say and you are doing more talking, chances are she may have something to hide or may have some challenges about opening up to people. If she isn't looking for a therapist, don't offer your services.
Avoid feeling sorry for people. She may tell you about her tragic life story in one meeting or every time she sees you. If she seems to be so open about it, then she most likely used it with others to get what she wants. No the difference between a testimony and a sales pitch!
Nicholl McGuire writes articles for numerous websites, feel free to connect and learn more here.
Over the years you may have been friends with the ugly guy, the fat girl, the boy with the acne, the girl with the freckles and everyone else in between. Back when you were in elementary and high school you may not have thought too much about these people other than the fact that they were teased and you pitied them. You may have been one of the ugly ducklings that grew up to be a beautiful swan. With all that said, you may not have realized how attractive you were until the guys started telling you how nice looking you were and the girls around you started acting envious. Now if you were use to hanging out with the not-so attractive crowd, the attention you were receiving from people could have been a turn off or a turn on, but lurking underneath it all you knew you had secretly struggled with your own self-esteem. Years later you still struggle.
While you think you are not pretty to the rest of the world, the ugly people know different and that is why some of those annoying, jealous, and insecure women have been approaching you over the years. For the purpose of this article let's define ugly as you see it. Physically not appealing, bad personality, loud mouth, angry whatever you consider to be unattractive. Now you mustn't confuse the ugly woman with the unattractive women who have no problem with their self-esteem, but are simply looking for a good friend. The sincerely good-hearted, unattractive woman will not seem desperate, annoying or overbearing. She doesn't need you or what you have, she is confident in who she is and if anything, you may be able to benefit from her. This is not the type of woman this article references. However, the ugly woman on the inside and out is who this article is about and you know her. She is in your circle of friends and you are trying to get her out. She was your yesteryear's mistake, the one you befriended when you couldn't wait for the right friend to come along, similar to your past boyfriends, but that is another article.
The ugly woman knows what you are and how she can benefit from you even if you don't. She noticed you from afar like the man staring at you from a distance hoping to get your name and phone number. She invites herself into your personal space with a conversation starter. A simple complaint about something, a compliment on the way you look, a tidbit of office gossip, or other statements. You entertain her with a response and then over time you seem to bump into her where ever you go, at the office, where you live, at school, shopping or some event. (Now everyone you bump into isn't meant to be your friend as you have learned the hard way.) When the ugly woman sees you again, you may be with a relative, friend, your children or alone and now she has even more to talk about. "Oh this is your son. You must be the sister. Wow you must be the husband." At first her approach seems ordinary, matter of fact, nothing special, and you don't think twice about this insecure woman. Then she begins her requests of "let's do lunch, give me your phone number, I know a great place we could go to..." So you take her up on her offer and you find that she is a really nice person. You enjoy her company and she seems to enjoy you until...
She starts calling you too often, dropping by unannounced, showing up unexpectedly at places you frequent, and complimenting you far too many times than you can handle. "You are always dressed so nice. Your hair is so cute. Your figure is nice, I wish I was that small. You have a great shape. You are beautiful you can have any man you want." What started out as nice compliments have become overwhelming and you are beginning to question if this woman is sexually attracted to you, insecure, lonely, jealous and/or confused. Most likely, she is insecure. Think about how many times you went out with her and how many men looked at her as compared to you? When you showed up wearing something new what did her eyes say, not her mouth? What about when you ordered more food than she did at the restaurant, how did she react? When you offered to do some physical activity together like take a walk, did she object? How about when you bought her something nice or offered her money, how did she react to your gift? When she calls you on the phone and you are not available to answer her call, what does she say? How often does she contact you or visit? If your answer to any of these questions makes you feel uncomfortable, chances are you have an insecure woman in your life and sometimes these kind of women aren't easy to let go.
You may be growing tired of her and have told her in so many ways, yet she just doesn't seem to get the message. Other people may have noticed things about her that make them feel uncomfortable too. The "I don't want to be a b*tch" girl inside of you may have dismissed what they said by making excuses for her actions, "My friend is just lonely, she needs a friend. Look at her, she isn't that pretty, etc." However, while you are trying to justify her irrational, controlling behavior, she is growing weary of your friendship too, because she is no longer getting what she wants from you. Maybe she enjoyed riding in your car, wearing your clothes, shopping, talking long hours on the phone and more. She doesn't know how to let go of you either, so rather than retreat from the friendship she keeps it going.
If you are still ducking and dodging your "friend," then you are at an interesting place in your friendship with her. She may have found someone else to annoy who may know you. She begins to confide in this person about everything including what you have told her. She bad mouths you, says hurtful things about the way you look, how you speak or anything else that she may be envious about to this mutual friend. Her words travel back to you and now you are left angry, confused and bitter. "The audacity she would talk about me and allowed her ugly self into my life!" Well, if you would have took the time to notice the signs early on, she wouldn't be in your life, now would she? You could have broken up with her similar to the way you ended your relationships with past boyfriends. "I like you, but you are crowding my space. I think we should see other people." Remember those days? So why is it that women don't cut their losses with these insecure women friends? Because you don't want to hurt her feelings. Now look at whose feelings are hurt!? If there is anything you should remember from this article is watch the company you keep!
If you have reached this place in your so-called friendship with this insecure woman, that was your "out" in this friendship. The following are a list of other ways to handle the insecure women friends you have in your life and how to safeguard yourself from ones in the future.
Here's four points on how to handle the insecure women.
1) Don't invite them over to your home or any other place or event.
2) Avoid confrontation by telling them how you feel about the friendship over the phone.
3) Stop using them for anything you may or may not need such as companionship, food and other household products, car, childcare, money, employment, etc.
4) Don't introduce them to anymore of your family members or friends.
5) Gradually become distant. If you talked everyday, make it every other day for a week or two, then once a week and eventually no calls at all.
Here's how to safeguard yourself from an insecure woman.
1) Know what the two of you might have in common before you go out with them. For example, if she doesn't like to workout and you do, chances are she will grow envious of your body shape. If she doesn't dress nice in the public and you do, she may have a lot to say with her eyes or her mouth about the way you look.
2) Don't confide in her about any relationship problems you might be having with your mate.
3) Delay inviting her over your home to meet your family as long as you can until you feel comfortable you really know her. (She may have saw your man first before she saw you.)
4) Study the way she conducts herself in public and particularly around men. If she is a big flirt or tease and dresses provocatively, would you want her around your man and children?
5) Find out if she has other friends besides you. She will most likely give you signs she doesn't by how often you see her wherever the two of you first met.
6) Ask her about her hobbies such as watch TV, read, write, dance, workout, shop, etc. If she has none, keep away.
7) Talk to her about controversial things and watch her reaction. You will know right away if this is someone you can have an intelligent conversation.
8) Talk about general things such as family, children, employment and see if she can hold a conversation about these basic topics. If you find she doesn't have much to say and you are doing more talking, chances are she may have something to hide or may have some challenges about opening up to people. If she isn't looking for a therapist, don't offer your services.
Avoid feeling sorry for people. She may tell you about her tragic life story in one meeting or every time she sees you. If she seems to be so open about it, then she most likely used it with others to get what she wants. No the difference between a testimony and a sales pitch!
Nicholl McGuire writes articles for numerous websites, feel free to connect and learn more here.
Friday, October 19, 2012
When Surviving Life's Storms
I have had my share of storms and I will tell you it has been no easy feat restoring one's mind to peace and happiness and going on with life after a life storm. But you manage, because your will to live is greater than your will to die. Despite all of the challenges you might face, something on the inside of you whispers, "You are not done yet, there is still more we have to do." Now that "something" for some of you reading this, you might call your gut feeling, higher conscious etc. but for me, I call "it" God, Lord, Holy Spirit.
When people tell me about their issues, I am learning to pray more, rather than just spectate and listen. Oftentimes people are sharing their personal challenges, because they just want to know someone cares, and besides, they desire something great to happen in their lives. So if you claim to be a believer in the one true God, then it might be wise to permit him to use you to reach that troubled individual along your path in a supernatural way!
Well that's it for now, do look beyond your circumstances, be a help to someone else, and remember that you didn't create yourself--God bless!
When people tell me about their issues, I am learning to pray more, rather than just spectate and listen. Oftentimes people are sharing their personal challenges, because they just want to know someone cares, and besides, they desire something great to happen in their lives. So if you claim to be a believer in the one true God, then it might be wise to permit him to use you to reach that troubled individual along your path in a supernatural way!
Well that's it for now, do look beyond your circumstances, be a help to someone else, and remember that you didn't create yourself--God bless!
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry - the book is here!
Are you expecting your mother or any mother type in your life to apologize for some wrong-doing? Well, keep waiting. For some prideful women, they aren't going to say anything more than, "Keep on being angry...You owe me an apology!" Those loved ones that do apologize, some are sincere. But others not so much, they have a personal agenda right around the corner.
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry is a playbook that opens up a game that many manipulative mothers like to play that love to control others more than relate to them. This work will enlighten some who are naive, gullible, and silly (like I once was) to the game(s). There are mind games that some of these women that have been around their share of players, pimps, hustlers, and overall crooked people that they play. If you don't know any better, you come off as weak, needy, troubled, or crazy even if these things are not true about you. By the time you are finished with Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, you will want to work hard on changing some things about you while coming to the conclusion on what you want to do with those toxic women in your life.
The book is not for those who are scared, nervous, or still grabbing on Mother's apron strings. This is a non-fiction piece for the daughter or son who is simply fed up with Mama, Mother, Mommy, or Mom. Issues involving stepmothers, mother-in-laws and enabling fathers are also addressed. You will find many things you have been through with your mother or someone else's in this book as well as tips on how to move on with your life.
I observed much growing up when it came to familial relationships between mothers and their children as well as sibling issues, and I can tell you from my experience that some people will never learn or change. They are who they are, and you have the choice to do some things different for yourself and your family. Sometimes we have dysfunctional relationships with relatives for far too long that we would never tolerate with a toxic boyfriend or girlfriend.
Be free!
You can get your copy here.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic, Laboring to Love Myself, and other books.
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry is a playbook that opens up a game that many manipulative mothers like to play that love to control others more than relate to them. This work will enlighten some who are naive, gullible, and silly (like I once was) to the game(s). There are mind games that some of these women that have been around their share of players, pimps, hustlers, and overall crooked people that they play. If you don't know any better, you come off as weak, needy, troubled, or crazy even if these things are not true about you. By the time you are finished with Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, you will want to work hard on changing some things about you while coming to the conclusion on what you want to do with those toxic women in your life.
The book is not for those who are scared, nervous, or still grabbing on Mother's apron strings. This is a non-fiction piece for the daughter or son who is simply fed up with Mama, Mother, Mommy, or Mom. Issues involving stepmothers, mother-in-laws and enabling fathers are also addressed. You will find many things you have been through with your mother or someone else's in this book as well as tips on how to move on with your life.
I observed much growing up when it came to familial relationships between mothers and their children as well as sibling issues, and I can tell you from my experience that some people will never learn or change. They are who they are, and you have the choice to do some things different for yourself and your family. Sometimes we have dysfunctional relationships with relatives for far too long that we would never tolerate with a toxic boyfriend or girlfriend.
Be free!
You can get your copy here.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic, Laboring to Love Myself, and other books.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Do You Recall Any of Your New Year's Resolutions?
If you made some or even had a few hopes for this year, how are things coming along?
Since the start of the new year, I have been putting in motion my task list--you know that thing some call, "a goal" or "to do" list. I desired to write and read more (both of which I have been doing, but not without some challenges) and I also needed to abstain from some things personally and professionally that were setting me back including impulse buying.
Sometimes you will find yourself needing more time during the day to do something, so that's when some things must be put aside to allow for other things to happen in your life.
I have found that when we set our goals in front of us each day, great things can happen! There is something about looking at what you have and haven't accomplished each day that will give you a good kick in the rear! I don't know about you, but I just can't keep looking at an unfinished business project on a calendar or on notepads daily, and not feel compelled to do something--even if it means just crossing it out and doing something else in its place.
I also found that those things we keep putting off are usually the things we should have been doing in the first place. For instance, if you leave something out in the middle of the floor, like a tool, it just might help you get your task complete. It will serve as a simple reminder to motivate you to get what ever needs to be done immediately. I have personally done this with a vacuum, a carpet shampooer, and a pile of papers and receipts I needed to sort through. What tidy person wants to see that mess in the middle of the floor each day? So what are you most likely going to do? Make time to get those things done, so that you can put what you're keeping back in its proper place.
Sometimes we over-think things and don't get anything done! For example, there was one writing project I kept thinking about and did nothing, but when I left my notes by the computer and only devoted time to that (during my free time which I made time for) that day, it got done. No cell phone was answered, the children were watching movies and playing with toys (which I typically rotate so that they feel that excited feeling every time they see an old toy again.) Once everything else was done, I began typing.
The next day, I did the same thing all over again and then the next day and the next. I think when we think too much about what we have to do, we put pressure on ourselves and then we don't want to do them. Sometimes we just need to jump right in-- turn off the Internet, TV and other distractions and just do them!
When I realized how much time I was wasting during the day, doing routine activities, I found some tools to help make my life easier and free up more time in my busy day. Everything from a four-slice toaster to online programs to automate some of my routine tasks. I also freed myself of "traditions," that were taking far too much money out of my pocket and time away from my business activities. It wasn't necessary to make meals that require a lot of preparation-- especially daily. I stopped taking the children out so much; therefore I cut down spending money on more toys and games that just added to their collection of toy bins. I also took all those birthday wishes off my calendars. It just didn't make sense to spend money on people who don't think enough of you. I also cut off the people who just were no added benefit to my life. How much negativity can one stand? I think of an old song, "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help!"
My friends, this is what it takes to make time to accomplish a New Year's goal or two.
To God be all the glory.
Nicholl McGuire
Since the start of the new year, I have been putting in motion my task list--you know that thing some call, "a goal" or "to do" list. I desired to write and read more (both of which I have been doing, but not without some challenges) and I also needed to abstain from some things personally and professionally that were setting me back including impulse buying.
Sometimes you will find yourself needing more time during the day to do something, so that's when some things must be put aside to allow for other things to happen in your life.
I have found that when we set our goals in front of us each day, great things can happen! There is something about looking at what you have and haven't accomplished each day that will give you a good kick in the rear! I don't know about you, but I just can't keep looking at an unfinished business project on a calendar or on notepads daily, and not feel compelled to do something--even if it means just crossing it out and doing something else in its place.
I also found that those things we keep putting off are usually the things we should have been doing in the first place. For instance, if you leave something out in the middle of the floor, like a tool, it just might help you get your task complete. It will serve as a simple reminder to motivate you to get what ever needs to be done immediately. I have personally done this with a vacuum, a carpet shampooer, and a pile of papers and receipts I needed to sort through. What tidy person wants to see that mess in the middle of the floor each day? So what are you most likely going to do? Make time to get those things done, so that you can put what you're keeping back in its proper place.
Sometimes we over-think things and don't get anything done! For example, there was one writing project I kept thinking about and did nothing, but when I left my notes by the computer and only devoted time to that (during my free time which I made time for) that day, it got done. No cell phone was answered, the children were watching movies and playing with toys (which I typically rotate so that they feel that excited feeling every time they see an old toy again.) Once everything else was done, I began typing.
The next day, I did the same thing all over again and then the next day and the next. I think when we think too much about what we have to do, we put pressure on ourselves and then we don't want to do them. Sometimes we just need to jump right in-- turn off the Internet, TV and other distractions and just do them!
When I realized how much time I was wasting during the day, doing routine activities, I found some tools to help make my life easier and free up more time in my busy day. Everything from a four-slice toaster to online programs to automate some of my routine tasks. I also freed myself of "traditions," that were taking far too much money out of my pocket and time away from my business activities. It wasn't necessary to make meals that require a lot of preparation-- especially daily. I stopped taking the children out so much; therefore I cut down spending money on more toys and games that just added to their collection of toy bins. I also took all those birthday wishes off my calendars. It just didn't make sense to spend money on people who don't think enough of you. I also cut off the people who just were no added benefit to my life. How much negativity can one stand? I think of an old song, "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help!"
My friends, this is what it takes to make time to accomplish a New Year's goal or two.
To God be all the glory.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Free Time
Sometimes those free moments come in one's life when nothing much is going on. It is then that I think about things--anything. I begin to ponder about article topics, think about past events and how I could have/should have, and plan the next thing I'm going to do. Yet, other times I just feel a myriad of emotions sometimes those that move you to tear just a bit. One in particular is that moment of elation, simply being thankful about what a Heavenly Creator has done so far with me--ever so grateful for life and not fearful when it all comes to an end.
When you have that moment, you know the one you aren't doing much of anything, take a deep breath. It just might be just what the doctor ordered--a quiet time that might have saved your life just a little while longer!
Stay blessed.
Nicholl
When you have that moment, you know the one you aren't doing much of anything, take a deep breath. It just might be just what the doctor ordered--a quiet time that might have saved your life just a little while longer!
Stay blessed.
Nicholl
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)