10 Internet & Email Dating Tips

The following tips will help you with your quest to find someone who is right for you online.

1. When reviewing the photos of people on social networking sites, be sure that you don't pick someone who is seen in all his or her photographs smiling with their mouth closed, wearing a hat, sitting down, wearing an unusual amount of makeup, or standing behind someone or something. This person is obviously trying to cover up their hidden flaws. They may be balding, obese or very short, have terrible looking teeth, covering up birthmarks, freckles or pimples or they may have some kind of handicap.

2. If you should find someone who has done this in all there photographs, ask them in your email to send you a recent photo. Now he or she may not have one, but give them enough time to get one taken. If they are always coming up with an excuse, move on.

3. Don't rush to ask for phone numbers. If you find that you are anxious to speak to this person over the phone, think about why. Is it because you haven't had sex in awhile, you are just curious about his or her voice, and/or he or she is saying all the right things in their emails? Whatever the case, write as much as you like until you are comfortable with the answers you are receiving and that you honestly care for this person. (If they seem as if they are putting you off, not responding to email in a timely manner or answering all emails with little or no detail, move on.)

4. Be sure when you are writing your first emails to them that you aren't getting "too serious". Don't get into your desires of being married and having children right away or writing a history of every Tom, Dick and Harry or Jane, Mary and Tina who ever broke your heart. Find out what their likes and dislikes are, what they enjoy doing daily, where do they like to go, what kind of hobbies they love, how do they feel about their job, family, and friends. In later emails, you may want to bring up the serious topics in such a way that would not make them run for the border. For instance, when asking about a mental condition, you may say that you read somewhere how most mental illnesses are genetic and that you found out from a friend that he is bipolar (don't make up a lie, but use a true case.) Do they know of anyone who has suffered from the disease?

5. Don't forget to spell check your emails. Many educated people who can spell well, frown at emails that are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. Be sure to read over what you write aloud. This helps when you are trying to find out if you communicated your point well.

6. There is no set time on how long you email back and fourth, so don't set a limit of how long you will do it. He or she may have other email pals or gals, but don't let that push you to ask for a date sooner rather than later. Sometimes those other email pals or gals are in a rush to meet and then ultimately hang themselves being disrespectful, pushy, lying, cheating etc. It is better to play the best friend or confidante role to get what you want long term rather than the one night stand.

7. Remember in your emails to acknowledge birthdays and other holidays. Ask about family and friends by name (if you know any.) It makes the receiver feel like you have been thinking about them and sincerely care.

8. When he or she feels like they can trust you, you may want to send them something special in the mail. Reassure them that you wouldn't surprise them on their job or at home, but that you just want to send them something nice. If they aren't ready to share their address, don't take it personal just say, "Maybe next time."

9. Now that you have survived the email relationship, you may want to ask for that all important date. Start the email off by saying how much you enjoyed writing, but you would like to exchange phone numbers. If they say no, be patient, at least you know that they will be thinking about it. The reason why it is a big deal for some people is they feel if they talk with you on the phone that eventually it will lead to something more and if they aren't ready they don't want to lead you on.

10. When you set up the date, time and meeting place, be sure to leave a note in your apartment and tell someone close to you where you will be going. Better yet, if you can have someone at your home to take a photo of the two of you or glance at the license plate of his or her vehicle, you will be playing it safe.

Nicholl McGuire writes for numerous websites, feel free to learn more about her services and connect here at Nicholl McGuire Media

How to Avoid Insecure Women Friends: Beautiful People with Low Self-Esteem

"You were destined to be great! Beautiful, smart, unique, talented and you will never have a problem getting your foot in anyone's door!" Some of you may have received similar compliments from well-meaning family, friends and strangers. You may know this about yourself, so you may take it like a grain of salt. However, some of you may not know this, and that is why this article is being written. Beautiful people with low self-esteem are targets for some unattractive people who are insecure. They hope to befriend you to get what they want! Hence, the expression, beauty can be a blessing and a curse.

Over the years you may have been friends with the ugly guy, the fat girl, the boy with the acne, the girl with the freckles and everyone else in between. Back when you were in elementary and high school you may not have thought too much about these people other than the fact that they were teased and you pitied them. You may have been one of the ugly ducklings that grew up to be a beautiful swan. With all that said, you may not have realized how attractive you were until the guys started telling you how nice looking you were and the girls around you started acting envious. Now if you were use to hanging out with the not-so attractive crowd, the attention you were receiving from people could have been a turn off or a turn on, but lurking underneath it all you knew you had secretly struggled with your own self-esteem. Years later you still struggle.

While you think you are not pretty to the rest of the world, the ugly people know different and that is why some of those annoying, jealous, and insecure women have been approaching you over the years. For the purpose of this article let's define ugly as you see it. Physically not appealing, bad personality, loud mouth, angry whatever you consider to be unattractive. Now you mustn't confuse the ugly woman with the unattractive women who have no problem with their self-esteem, but are simply looking for a good friend. The sincerely good-hearted, unattractive woman will not seem desperate, annoying or overbearing. She doesn't need you or what you have, she is confident in who she is and if anything, you may be able to benefit from her. This is not the type of woman this article references. However, the ugly woman on the inside and out is who this article is about and you know her. She is in your circle of friends and you are trying to get her out. She was your yesteryear's mistake, the one you befriended when you couldn't wait for the right friend to come along, similar to your past boyfriends, but that is another article.

The ugly woman knows what you are and how she can benefit from you even if you don't. She noticed you from afar like the man staring at you from a distance hoping to get your name and phone number. She invites herself into your personal space with a conversation starter. A simple complaint about something, a compliment on the way you look, a tidbit of office gossip, or other statements. You entertain her with a response and then over time you seem to bump into her where ever you go, at the office, where you live, at school, shopping or some event. (Now everyone you bump into isn't meant to be your friend as you have learned the hard way.) When the ugly woman sees you again, you may be with a relative, friend, your children or alone and now she has even more to talk about. "Oh this is your son. You must be the sister. Wow you must be the husband." At first her approach seems ordinary, matter of fact, nothing special, and you don't think twice about this insecure woman. Then she begins her requests of "let's do lunch, give me your phone number, I know a great place we could go to..." So you take her up on her offer and you find that she is a really nice person. You enjoy her company and she seems to enjoy you until...

She starts calling you too often, dropping by unannounced, showing up unexpectedly at places you frequent, and complimenting you far too many times than you can handle. "You are always dressed so nice. Your hair is so cute. Your figure is nice, I wish I was that small. You have a great shape. You are beautiful you can have any man you want." What started out as nice compliments have become overwhelming and you are beginning to question if this woman is sexually attracted to you, insecure, lonely, jealous and/or confused. Most likely, she is insecure. Think about how many times you went out with her and how many men looked at her as compared to you? When you showed up wearing something new what did her eyes say, not her mouth? What about when you ordered more food than she did at the restaurant, how did she react? When you offered to do some physical activity together like take a walk, did she object? How about when you bought her something nice or offered her money, how did she react to your gift? When she calls you on the phone and you are not available to answer her call, what does she say? How often does she contact you or visit? If your answer to any of these questions makes you feel uncomfortable, chances are you have an insecure woman in your life and sometimes these kind of women aren't easy to let go.

You may be growing tired of her and have told her in so many ways, yet she just doesn't seem to get the message. Other people may have noticed things about her that make them feel uncomfortable too. The "I don't want to be a b*tch" girl inside of you may have dismissed what they said by making excuses for her actions, "My friend is just lonely, she needs a friend. Look at her, she isn't that pretty, etc." However, while you are trying to justify her irrational, controlling behavior, she is growing weary of your friendship too, because she is no longer getting what she wants from you. Maybe she enjoyed riding in your car, wearing your clothes, shopping, talking long hours on the phone and more. She doesn't know how to let go of you either, so rather than retreat from the friendship she keeps it going.

If you are still ducking and dodging your "friend," then you are at an interesting place in your friendship with her. She may have found someone else to annoy who may know you. She begins to confide in this person about everything including what you have told her. She bad mouths you, says hurtful things about the way you look, how you speak or anything else that she may be envious about to this mutual friend. Her words travel back to you and now you are left angry, confused and bitter. "The audacity she would talk about me and allowed her ugly self into my life!" Well, if you would have took the time to notice the signs early on, she wouldn't be in your life, now would she? You could have broken up with her similar to the way you ended your relationships with past boyfriends. "I like you, but you are crowding my space. I think we should see other people." Remember those days? So why is it that women don't cut their losses with these insecure women friends? Because you don't want to hurt her feelings. Now look at whose feelings are hurt!? If there is anything you should remember from this article is watch the company you keep!

If you have reached this place in your so-called friendship with this insecure woman, that was your "out" in this friendship. The following are a list of other ways to handle the insecure women friends you have in your life and how to safeguard yourself from ones in the future.

Here's four points on how to handle the insecure women.

1) Don't invite them over to your home or any other place or event.

2) Avoid confrontation by telling them how you feel about the friendship over the phone.

3) Stop using them for anything you may or may not need such as companionship, food and other household products, car, childcare, money, employment, etc.

4) Don't introduce them to anymore of your family members or friends.

5) Gradually become distant. If you talked everyday, make it every other day for a week or two, then once a week and eventually no calls at all.

Here's how to safeguard yourself from an insecure woman.

1) Know what the two of you might have in common before you go out with them. For example, if she doesn't like to workout and you do, chances are she will grow envious of your body shape. If she doesn't dress nice in the public and you do, she may have a lot to say with her eyes or her mouth about the way you look.

2) Don't confide in her about any relationship problems you might be having with your mate.

3) Delay inviting her over your home to meet your family as long as you can until you feel comfortable you really know her. (She may have saw your man first before she saw you.)

4) Study the way she conducts herself in public and particularly around men. If she is a big flirt or tease and dresses provocatively, would you want her around your man and children?

5) Find out if she has other friends besides you. She will most likely give you signs she doesn't by how often you see her wherever the two of you first met.

6) Ask her about her hobbies such as watch TV, read, write, dance, workout, shop, etc. If she has none, keep away.

7) Talk to her about controversial things and watch her reaction. You will know right away if this is someone you can have an intelligent conversation.

8) Talk about general things such as family, children, employment and see if she can hold a conversation about these basic topics. If you find she doesn't have much to say and you are doing more talking, chances are she may have something to hide or may have some challenges about opening up to people. If she isn't looking for a therapist, don't offer your services.

Avoid feeling sorry for people. She may tell you about her tragic life story in one meeting or every time she sees you. If she seems to be so open about it, then she most likely used it with others to get what she wants. No the difference between a testimony and a sales pitch!

Nicholl McGuire writes articles for numerous websites, feel free to connect and learn more here.

How Do You Know Your Child isn’t Dating Someone Who is Violent?

As a parent you tried to figure out what has been going on lately with your teenager or twenty something year old. You tried to make conversation with them, but they seemed annoyed. You asked them if everything was okay and they either told you that everything was or they started talking about the usual: job issues, money problems, health concerns or something else. But what could that “else” be? You already heard their stories many times before, but you still have that unsettling feeling in your stomach that they just aren’t telling you everything, until one day you have a fleeting thought, something they said or someone else told you or even worse they have a scar or bruise on their body. Just as you suspected it’s the new boyfriend or the girlfriend who is making your son or daughter act different toward you, and everyone else.

Your beloved child may have once confided in you when he or she was in trouble, but now they don’t feel comfortable telling you anything about his or her relationship for a number of reasons such as: feelings of fear and shame, their "undying" loyalty or love for their mate, personal social or religious beliefs, ignorance on what constitutes a good relationship, and/or denial that anything negative is happening.

Dating violence among adolescents is just as bad as domestic violence among adults. According to the Advocates for Youth website, “More than 20 percent of all adolescents report having experienced either psychological or physical violence from an intimate partner ...”

Dating violence is defined by the site as “...psychological or emotional violence, such as controlling behaviors or jealousy; physical violence, such as hitting or punching, and sexual violence such as nonconsensual sexual activity and rape.”

Some young people, in violent relationships, have been diagnosed with a mental illness before they became involved with their new partner and in the past have had suicidal thoughts or eating disorders. Others are recovering addicts of drug or alcohol abuse and victims of sexual abuse. Some children involved in these types of relationships have unresolved feelings about their parent's separation or divorce while others are still grieving over someone’s death. There are many other past situations that youth have experienced that cause them to feel as if they need to be involved in these violent relationships. You will need to think of what may have influenced your son or daughter's decision. Considering your child's history, their new mate may have entered into their life at what seemed to be the right time. He or she befriended them while they too, have been suffering with their own mental issues. An abusive mate now has the power to make the unsuspecting individual feel obligated to them, because they share something in common “they have been through the same thing;” therefore, the young adult will assume he or she “understands me” which couldn’t be further from the truth. So the young woman or man will tolerate their boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s negative behavior toward them, followed by the ever-popular "I'm sorry" after they have repeatedly mistreated your child. Meanwhile, your son or daughter accepts the apology, feeling as if that is the right thing to do, despite their abuse. They learned this behavior ever since they were a child, "When you do something bad, you apologize," then what do parents do? They allow the injured child and the bully to go back and play together!

If your child seems to be involved with drinking, smoking, and/or fighting more than usual, chances are they are hiding from their problems. He or she may also begin or start back to thinking about committing suicide or stop taking prescribed medications. This all can be contributed to this new girlfriend or boyfriend’s negative influence over them.

When your suspicions have been proved correct, the first thing parents want to do is tell their children to leave their abusive mates. I can tell you from personal experience, that is the worse thing you can do when you know that you no longer have any influence over your child. When a rebellious child hears the word “don’t” in their mind, they translate it to “do.” Instead, make the time to talk with your child about your own personal struggles when relating to people and how you resolved matters. Be sure not to blatantly direct your story toward their behavior or choices, otherwise it becomes a sermon; instead of a simple conversation about life. You could also share with them books, websites, Cds, and movies on dating violence. However, don't go overboard with the products, it may be taken the wrong way, so choose one or two based on what their interest might be. For instance, you may notice they enjoy listening to Cds or reading books, then get a product on dating violence in these formats.

You may also want to encourage someone whom they respect and admire to take some time with them. Your child may be more likely to discuss with their favorite relative or friend their troubles. However, don’t count on it, because dating violence just like domestic violence, is not something that is easily shared. No one wants to be judged for the choices they make in life such as being called, “Stupid, crazy, dumb, or foolish.” Your child may be hearing enough of that from their partner.

Other things you can do as a kind, gentle, and caring parent is to be sure you don’t look like a hypocrite. Why is it that your child is running into the arms of an older man, a crazy girlfriend, or some wild, rude weirdo? Could it be because you did the same when you were younger and they heard about it while you tried to cover it up? How did you handle problems in your own relationship? What sort of things were you doing at home (saying, watching or reading) that may have influenced them at an early age? Were you or your partner overly strict parents who may not have been happy about being parents? The worse thing that parents can do when they evaluate themselves is to be in denial or become defensive. “I was never like…that didn‘t happen…I don‘t remember.” Children pay attention more to what you are doing than what you are saying. For parents who still want a relationship with their children, be true to yourself and encourage them to be better individuals by not talking behind their backs to people who can't help them, screaming at your child, or punishing them for things you have yet to understand. Find out what’s wrong, make a plan to address the issue in the kindest and most loving way first, set boundaries so that they aren’t disrespecting you or other members of the family, and apologize for where you went wrong. This is only the beginning, but at least it is a start.

If you would like additional information about dating violence then consider reviewing the book entitled: Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate written by a young woman who had survived her abuser.

How to Become a Mentor with a Heart of Gold: What Every Network Marketer Should Know

Another door slams, after an hour in a half of yelling, some of you are growing weary of trying to convince someone you love that the problem they are having with you is their problem. However, if you sit quietly and truly think about what is it about you that annoys them, they will be right and you will be wrong. This scenario is what seems to happen in the end with multi-level marketing businesses.

Someone brings you into a "slam bam thank you maam" relationship and when you call them out on it, they want to silently argue with you by simply not being available or answering you with useful information. Eventually you fall, because no one wanted to be in a long-term committed relationship with you they just wanted to take from you. You have now found an opportunity that makes you a mentor and you don't want to be taken advantage of or take advantage of others.

In order to do this, you must make a note to yourself that you are in the business for a long-lasting relationship and if you are not, then find another business such as direct marketing. With direct marketing, making a profit is your number one priority. The following tips will assist you with analyzing yourself and communicating with your affiliate or members of your team.

Feel free to utilize these tips in other areas of your life.
The most important quality a mentor must have is to be a good listener. When someone comes to you with a desire, a concern, an idea, don't start talking about yourself and what you would or would not do; instead interview them.

Find out how did they come up with the idea, what is his or her concern or where did their desire come from? A mentor, teacher, coach and counselor are one in the same. They are supposed to be servants to society-available to help those in need. They are not to criticize, humiliate, belittle or "talk down." Don't sell your affiliates on products; rather allow them to open their heart to you, later you provide the help, not the other way around.

Be people friendly. Learn how to relate to people from all walks of life on their level. Ask questions about their hopes, dreams, family and reason(s) why they would like to work with your organization. Tell them to post their "why" for joining the business somewhere in their home that they can see everyday. If they can't do this simple task, this is a clear indication they are simply not ready to be taught-move on...don't grab them by both hands and plead for them to stay.

Don't let money be your driving motivation for being a mentor. Yes, you need the money, but that is your reward for helping others be successful. Change your thinking while you're mentoring, tell yourself, "I will be available to someone today, not I am going to make $100 today or I am going to recruit three people."

Tell the affiliate the truth about yourself, why you do what you do. Share your experiences with the business. If there were obstacles, how did you overcome? How are you making money and what are you doing with the money you obtain (Re-investing it back into the business? Saving money for your children's education? Buying a new house? Helping grandma? Tithing?)

Be sure the person you are mentoring understands every facet of the business. Many people don't ask questions or the right ones, put your self in their shoes. Right down all the questions you would have asked about the business when you first joined and have comprehensive answers. Sometimes it is better to forewarn the one you are mentoring of the complications or confusions others may have had with the business and if they run into similar problems, remind them that you are available to assist them.

When you notice a problem with the organization or your affiliate questions things that appear to be "shady," address it with leaders. Don't find excuses to cover problems up when talking to your affiliates. Let them know you are concerned and have spoken to leadership about it. Follow-up with leadership to find out if anything has been done about the concern and notify your team about the changes. Praise your affiliate for making you aware.

Surround yourself with positive people that support what you are doing and encourage your team to do the same. Tell them who they choose to speak to about their goals will make a positive or negative difference in how they view the business. Some people will appear to support them, while others will find excuses not to.

When your team comes to you seeming as if they do not want to be a part of the business, although they are successful at it, be concerned and ask, more like remind them of why they joined. Refer to the note that they were supposed to have posted somewhere in their home listing why they felt they needed to join.

Some affiliates may talk about how lucky another person is and mention they wish they were more like Jane Doe or John Smith, ask he or she, "How are you managing to get to know more people?" It isn't how lucky a person may be; it is how many people, places and/or things he or she may be involved in to bring them that so-called luck.

For instance, if a person who hits a million dollar lottery played only once and won, we could consider that a super natural miracle, but what if someone else won for a few million, chances are they have been playing for years all sorts of lotteries spending thousands. The wider you extend your network, the better your results. Luck isn't random.

The last tip defines the various personality types you are mentoring. If they are very much into their family and friends, then they are caring and you will have no problem explaining to them why it's so important to build a relationship with people in network marketing. However, if you find that the person you are mentoring isn't really buying into relating with people and more concerned with making sales, you may want to remind them of the pros and cons of having that kind of attitude.

Then there is the detailed oriented person who asks many questions. Answer them with clear statements and provide illustrations. You will need to remind them often to get started, because at times thinkers can over think and get nothing done.

As for the fun people, they are open to anything, you just have to stay interesting and keep them going by allowing them to be creative; however, you will have to tell them about the rules in the business, because if you don't they may get you and the whole team in trouble.