Look for the Moments that Make Life Worth Living

When you are down and out and it seems like life difficulties are really getting the best of you just hold on to the positive people, places and things that remind you why you must keep waking yourself up each and everyday.  Is it the smile of a child?  A good book?  The nice place you live in?  The hope of moving to a new location?  The anticipation of meeting that someone special?  Whatever your motivation for making you feel that life is still worth living, embrace it and know that there is a God who sees all!  Good times are ahead, keep the faith!

Nicholl McGuire
YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

How Do You Know Your Boyfriend is Lying to You?

Whether you are in a new relationship or still trying to figure out an old one, chances are you either have been lied to or suspect your mate is lying to you again, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this article. To determine whether your mate is being honest with you the next time you question him or her, you will want to pay attention to the following signs. Although these clues may vary with some people, they are very popular with most liars.

Let's begin with one common tactic used by liars. You have approached him or her with a question followed by proof. He or she is obviously upset that you found out the truth. They will look for reasons to find faults with you also known as shifting blame. "Well if you hadn't went through my things we wouldn't be arguing? It's because of your insecurity is why I did what I did."

A softer tactic a liar will use to get off the hot seat is the all important phone call, meeting, or some other event. "Can this wait? I really have to go." In addition, they may even throw in a quick, "You know I love you and you are the only one for me."

Other distractions are touching, making jokes, coming up with a sudden emergency, or making up similar excuses to get away from you, so that it allows them time to assess the situation and come up with another lie to cover up the one you just found out.

Liars will easily become defensive by accusing you of "wanting to pick a fight" or another good one "What's with all the questions?" This is another attempt to buy some time to come up with a good story.

The wild, wide-eyed look is a great Kodak moment. They are trying to figure out what all do you really know. They are obviously in shock that you were smart enough to figure out their lie.

Bill Clinton used this next one. It's called "deny everything." Deny you were there, said it, or did it, and anything else you can deny. The liar's goal is to make you feel as if you are crazy and second-guess what you thought you heard or saw. Don't try to talk yourself out of what you know, he or she is guilty. Listen to your gut.

Liars feel like you are attacking them when you ask probing questions, so they will attack back. "Where were you last week when I called? Do I ask you about the people you talk to on the phone?" They may even call you a name or two just to get you off their back.

Without proof, what's the use in asking a liar questions, right? Maybe you don't want to reveal how you found out at least not at that moment. If you tell him or her that you can prove they are lying, they will encourage you to show your proof. The liar would like to call your bluff. When they see you are not bluffing, be prepared to hear another lie. They will discredit the proof or ask you how you got your information. Don't ever tell them exactly how you got anything! If you intend to stay with them a little while longer, you will want to follow up on a later date to see if they have developed a new habit like telling the truth. The liar will be more careful next time if you reveal all your secrets.

Some liars will have a quirky smile on their face. It isn't meant to be positive, it's really a frown turned upside down-a look of getting caught. Following the smile, the eyes will drop to the floor or look away from you.

There is the all-important pause after the question was asked or the "I didn't hear you" act. There is nothing wrong with his or her hearing; they heard you the first time. They just need the time to think like with all the other tactics. While they are pausing as they speak, watch how the eyes are looking away or down to the floor again, thinking of "What should I say?"

In summary, when a liar has been busted. Remember to first watch the facial expression. Facial muscles will either tense up or drop. The look is sorrowful or sad. Then gradually his or her mood will become angry. For temperamental people they will skip feeling sad and go right into the emotional anger outburst. Next, the liar will find an excuse to avoid talking about it further. They will not want to look at your face; instead they look down or away from you. The liar will make up a story to cover up the lie told. Some liars will tell only part of the truth and later come back asking for your forgiveness. Liars will want to try to make up immediately. From sex to gift giving, whatever makes you happy. Lastly, they will promise they won't do it again. However, old habits die hard so expect to be lied to again until they grow tired of getting busted.

Here's where many people who find out they have been lied to make mistakes. They continue to act as if everything is okay after the confrontation. In the beginning, you may have been angry, sad, or tearful, but you got over it and acted as if all was forgotten. You never held them accountable for their actions, nor did you follow up to see if he or she is telling you the truth. You are sold on their promises to never do it again.

Some victims of liars become obsessed with finding out more information and begin to nag their mates about everything. The key to healing is to know what you will do if they do it again. Give he or she the benefit of the doubt, but protect your heart by not being so trusting. If you don't have peace in the relationship, it will turn into a vicious cycle of break up to make up. Do you really want that circus in your life? If you know there is no hope for change, don't stick around. However, if you know there is some hope, then forgive and try to forget by not bringing their fault back up to them. Liars will confide in the one who they cheated with, a friend or family member with some of your relationship problems, but they will not tell them the whole story. Eventually when you have had enough of the endless cycle of make up to break up over lies, you will be sending him or her their walking papers. Although you may or may not ever find out the whole truth, whatever you do, embrace what you have found out and use it to set you free.

Nicholl McGuire writes for numerous websites, feel free to learn more about her services and connect here at Nicholl McGuire Media

How to Know Your Mate is Abusive

When a woman first meets a man she doesn't know his upbringing, the company he keeps, what he likes to do in his spare time and most of all whether he has a disease or not. She can only make a determination of the man's character initially by how he looks, his mannerisms, what he says and how he treats her and the people around them. As she becomes increasingly more interested in him, she begins to trust him and will gradually let her "guard down". She will buy him gifts, offer to help him with cooking and housework, impress his family and friends and take part in his interests. While she is growing a fondness for him, he may be ready to have a relationship with her, but struggle with a dark past in the process.

What is in this man's dark past that the woman is not aware? For some men, it is a pattern of abusive behaviors toward women. It may have started when he witnessed his mother being beat by his dad, a live-in boyfriend or someone else. There may have been a time that a woman sexually abused him. Other instances of abuse could have occurred to him by a controlling mother or some other female authority. Whoever or whatever the situation, the man is aware that he exhibits inappropriate behavior with women, but no matter how hard he tries he can't seem to stop. This man may have prayed, visited the local church, talked with friends, read books, saw a counselor, took drugs, etc. but for whatever reason he just can't seem to break the cycle. This unsuspecting new mate doesn't know what she is about to experience with this man unless she recognizes the signs early and gets out permanently.

Every relationship starts off similar to what was described in the beginning of this article. No one really knows what they are getting themselves into until later, but in time the darkness comes to light and it is up to the woman to get out of the relationship as quickly, safely and peacefully as possible. The signs don't always show up right away. When people who have not had similar experiences make comments such as, "Why didn't you see the signs?" or "Why did you stay?" Some women may have turned a blind eye to those signs, been too busy to really notice, felt comfortable with him because a relative or friend did similar things or simply didn't care because they didn't want to date anyone else.

The following is a list of signs to watch out for early in the relationship to determine whether the man has abusive tendencies or has abused women in the past.

Someone tells you or he admits that he has hit women in the past.

He refers to all women he has dated in the past with derogatory terms. He may also refer to his mother using such terms as well.

An extensive collection of pornography and videotapes some of which are violent. He may try to tempt you into trying sexual acts that go against your better judgment. If you object, he may threaten to do them with someone else.

He tells you of abuse he has witnessed or has been a part of toward women. When asked if he has ever sought counseling, he says, "No, I never felt I needed it." He may feel guilty about it and promise that he won't do it to you.

Finds fault with all your family and friends once you have confided in him about them or he has met them. Later, he will use what he knows against you in an argument. (More details on this in point 10.)

Shows up unannounced at your job, home, or places you visit (may lead to stalking). May offer to take you to any of these places on a daily basis so that you may grow dependent on him.

Calls you often wanting to know your plans and in some cases you may have already told him, but he may be checking to see if your story has changed. He expects you to call him wherever you go and will become angry if you don't.

He doesn't like who he is and makes regular references about himself as being "stupid," "ugly," "dumb," and asks you, "Why do you want to be with me?" He will also resort to name calling whether he is arguing with you or "just being funny."

He attempts to control money you have earned and abuses possessions that you have acquired. He often asks for financial assistance, takes over your car and tells you how you should conduct your household. He may encourage you to live with him so that he can further control you.

He threatens to commit suicide when you try to break up with him.

He threatens to kill you over anything from wanting to end the relationship to talking to other men.

When you object to negative behavior he has done in the relationship such as mention he is cheating, caught him in a lie, hold him accountable to a promise, etc. he pushes, shoves, kicks, bites, chokes, grabs, or performs any action such as these to control you. (Note: some men may not do any of this, but will use mental abuse such as place blame - make you feel as if you are going crazy, use sensitive stories you have shared with him to belittle or degrade you, talk negatively about your family and friends to make you feel as if you have no support system.)

When he is angry with you he keeps you in a room with no access to a phone. He may lock you in the room.

If he doesn't like how you are acting around others whether it is being too friendly, talkative or affectionate, he will make false accusations to insight an argument so that he has an excuse to verbally or physically assault you. His attempt is to get you to "behave." Another attempt at controlling you. For many women this tactic works over time, particularly if you are dependent on him financially and/or physically.

When you want to visit with a friend, go out to the movies or some other past time, he oftentimes vehemently objects or he uses tactics to make you feel guilty so that you will stay home.

He will try to convince you that he is sorry for what he has done and will never do it again, only to do it again, and again.

Every man who has a history of abusing women knows the kind of mental struggles they contend with behind closed doors. Recalling when a female authority figure such as their mother was abused or his self. They remember how devastating it was to witness and/or experience such violent behavior during their childhood. Yet, some men rather than handle the pain positively, will encourage the hate they have toward women, using them for their own desires and then abusing them when they don't comply. Without mental help, some men will emulate the male mentors that were around them. If they witnessed a man they looked up to hurt women, then they may do the same things. This is one of the main reasons why women must remove their children out of abusive relationship Many children will only repeat, later in life, what they see.

If you are currently in an abusive relationship and people are calling you crazy for putting up with him, read Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, written by Nicholl McGuire. The book can be found at Amazon.com, Borders.com or Target.com

How to Become a Mentor with a Heart of Gold: What Every Network Marketer Should Know

Another door slams, after an hour in a half of yelling, some of you are growing weary of trying to convince someone you love that the problem they are having with you is their problem. However, if you sit quietly and truly think about what is it about you that annoys them, they will be right and you will be wrong. This scenario is what seems to happen in the end with multi-level marketing businesses.

Someone brings you into a "slam bam thank you maam" relationship and when you call them out on it, they want to silently argue with you by simply not being available or answering you with useful information. Eventually you fall, because no one wanted to be in a long-term committed relationship with you they just wanted to take from you. You have now found an opportunity that makes you a mentor and you don't want to be taken advantage of or take advantage of others.

In order to do this, you must make a note to yourself that you are in the business for a long-lasting relationship and if you are not, then find another business such as direct marketing. With direct marketing, making a profit is your number one priority. The following tips will assist you with analyzing yourself and communicating with your affiliate or members of your team.

Feel free to utilize these tips in other areas of your life.
The most important quality a mentor must have is to be a good listener. When someone comes to you with a desire, a concern, an idea, don't start talking about yourself and what you would or would not do; instead interview them.

Find out how did they come up with the idea, what is his or her concern or where did their desire come from? A mentor, teacher, coach and counselor are one in the same. They are supposed to be servants to society-available to help those in need. They are not to criticize, humiliate, belittle or "talk down." Don't sell your affiliates on products; rather allow them to open their heart to you, later you provide the help, not the other way around.

Be people friendly. Learn how to relate to people from all walks of life on their level. Ask questions about their hopes, dreams, family and reason(s) why they would like to work with your organization. Tell them to post their "why" for joining the business somewhere in their home that they can see everyday. If they can't do this simple task, this is a clear indication they are simply not ready to be taught-move on...don't grab them by both hands and plead for them to stay.

Don't let money be your driving motivation for being a mentor. Yes, you need the money, but that is your reward for helping others be successful. Change your thinking while you're mentoring, tell yourself, "I will be available to someone today, not I am going to make $100 today or I am going to recruit three people."

Tell the affiliate the truth about yourself, why you do what you do. Share your experiences with the business. If there were obstacles, how did you overcome? How are you making money and what are you doing with the money you obtain (Re-investing it back into the business? Saving money for your children's education? Buying a new house? Helping grandma? Tithing?)

Be sure the person you are mentoring understands every facet of the business. Many people don't ask questions or the right ones, put your self in their shoes. Right down all the questions you would have asked about the business when you first joined and have comprehensive answers. Sometimes it is better to forewarn the one you are mentoring of the complications or confusions others may have had with the business and if they run into similar problems, remind them that you are available to assist them.

When you notice a problem with the organization or your affiliate questions things that appear to be "shady," address it with leaders. Don't find excuses to cover problems up when talking to your affiliates. Let them know you are concerned and have spoken to leadership about it. Follow-up with leadership to find out if anything has been done about the concern and notify your team about the changes. Praise your affiliate for making you aware.

Surround yourself with positive people that support what you are doing and encourage your team to do the same. Tell them who they choose to speak to about their goals will make a positive or negative difference in how they view the business. Some people will appear to support them, while others will find excuses not to.

When your team comes to you seeming as if they do not want to be a part of the business, although they are successful at it, be concerned and ask, more like remind them of why they joined. Refer to the note that they were supposed to have posted somewhere in their home listing why they felt they needed to join.

Some affiliates may talk about how lucky another person is and mention they wish they were more like Jane Doe or John Smith, ask he or she, "How are you managing to get to know more people?" It isn't how lucky a person may be; it is how many people, places and/or things he or she may be involved in to bring them that so-called luck.

For instance, if a person who hits a million dollar lottery played only once and won, we could consider that a super natural miracle, but what if someone else won for a few million, chances are they have been playing for years all sorts of lotteries spending thousands. The wider you extend your network, the better your results. Luck isn't random.

The last tip defines the various personality types you are mentoring. If they are very much into their family and friends, then they are caring and you will have no problem explaining to them why it's so important to build a relationship with people in network marketing. However, if you find that the person you are mentoring isn't really buying into relating with people and more concerned with making sales, you may want to remind them of the pros and cons of having that kind of attitude.

Then there is the detailed oriented person who asks many questions. Answer them with clear statements and provide illustrations. You will need to remind them often to get started, because at times thinkers can over think and get nothing done.

As for the fun people, they are open to anything, you just have to stay interesting and keep them going by allowing them to be creative; however, you will have to tell them about the rules in the business, because if you don't they may get you and the whole team in trouble.