Yes dogs are loyal. They will stick by you to the very end. They will still love you even when you forget to feed them, stay away too long, yell at them, and so on. But dogs can’t give you what you need when your spirit is reaching out for someone to complete you. Let’s be real, dogs aren’t a man’s best friend, but a wise woman is. Notice the key word here is “wise.” A foolish woman is a man’s downfall. We see that all the time in the media. A political, entertainment, or sports figure decides to go out with a woman who has strategically placed herself at the right place at the right time to obtain one’s material wealth. After attempting to destroy the man’s reputation, she may find temporary fame and fortune (many women don’t) and then when the lights are off she is by herself name-dropping to some friends.
Men overlook wise women all the time for the ditz. The reasons are endless from beauty to status, but whatever the reason, a wise woman will come out on top every time. For purposes of this writing, let’s define wise as “having or showing wisdom, good sense, or good judgment, sensible, aware of what is going on, informed,” according to the Webster’s New Ideal Dictionary. So to be with a wise woman is essential for a young man striving to become a better man and an older man looking to make the remaining years of his life something special.
So why is it that men in the beginning of a relationship want the wise woman, but later on find her unattractive, boring, not what they had in mind, different, strange etc.? Could it be that the man overlooked beauty over brains? Maybe he still wanted to party and travel as a single man? Or he simply couldn’t handle the challenge of thinking deeply, acting honestly, and being sensible? Not every man is ready for adult conversation and responsibilities. Some men as they grow older become weary of being the focused professional, able to handle challenges in a single bound. The superman title gets old for some. Just like women at certain times in their lives, they just want to let their hair down too and have a good time. But what’s wrong with having it all with a wise woman who can be a help mate in fulfilling your dreams and aspirations?
I have personally talked with men over the years who are confused as to what it truly means to have a serious relationship with someone. Their take on a good relationship is similar to that of a high school crush. They expect to be in love forever--holding hands, kissing, and playing under the covers. However, they don’t anticipate the stormy days when they aren’t the likeable, funny guy that their mate fell in love with in the beginning. These clueless men’s feelings become easily wounded when she objects to a silly joke, wants some space, or finds fault with them about something. They have associated a bad day or bad mood with a “throw the baby out with the bath water” type of relationship drama. Before you know it, they are holding grudges and looking for the next woman who they can feel those butterflies with. Yes, there are women who act the same way, but this article is not about them, it’s about men who need to understand the importance of having a relationship with a wise woman and not a foolish one.
The men that I have talked to unfortunately didn’t have a mother or a father around them who taught them what type of woman they needed that could be an asset to their lives. Instead, they were told to get involved with certain women for shallow reasons such as “she is pretty, she is older, and she has money…” But what they weren’t told was that the woman who can complete them is the one who will be a beacon to their lives. Like a lighthouse, she will show you the way in a storm. When you have lost your job, succumbed to illness, witnessed a relative die, or fell into a depression, she will pick you up and usher you where you need to be in life.
So what are the character traits of a wise woman? She is kind, considerate, and respected by family and friends. She is a planner, organizer, and detailed oriented. She is an independent thinker and no longer needs her mother, father and other relatives to guide her life. She has stopped saying, “Well my mother said…grandma told me…daddy reminded me…” She has a faith and is spiritually gifted. She may possess any one or all of the spiritual gifts as defined in the Christian Bible. For those who do not understand her, she is looked upon as a know-it-all type. Wise women who have allowed compliments to go to their heads are not looked upon with favor by those closest to them, because they are not disciplined enough to know how to communicate with others in a loving manner. However, in the public, they are admired. These women also tend to be bossy, arrogant, and sometimes unforgiving. They use their intellect to cast revenge and anger on others purposely. “God told me to tell you…You are stupid…You are a fool…that’s why you are going to hell!” These are the kind of things that wise women will say that make them look no better than a fool! They can be too wise in their own eyes at times and turn people completely off. “You should do this…why don’t you say that…do this because I said so…” She is always talking, but never listening. Yet, a wise woman who is in control of her emotions, humble, and loves others is a person who can be cherished. She is saying, “I am here for you, if you need me.”
A wise woman watches your back. She sees trouble coming from all angles even from your own family and friends. She may have never interacted or seen some of them, yet she knows that this person(s) is a potential problem or may threaten the household in some way. When your mother or other family members are being controlling and want to make you do what they want you to do when they want it, a wise woman will remind you about your current responsibilities and advise you to take a stand. For those of you who are married, you should already know this, and if you don’t then here’s your wake up call. A wise woman will tell you about that gut feeling she has about certain women at your workplace and although you maintain your innocence it doesn’t mean that you won’t slip up, so watch what you say and do. Wise women will also warn you when things in the house aren’t working, the car needs a tune up, and the children are misbehaving. She isn’t telling you these things to aggravate you, but she wants you as the man of the house to do your part. She knows she can’t do everything and she doesn’t want to take over unless pushed--being pushed is never a good thing for anyone. You can defile your wise woman at home and turn her into a bossy nag who will make you wish you never laid eyes on her! However, if everyone does their part the household will run efficiently.
A wise woman will create a schedule on how the household should best operate. She will manage dates and times so that everyone knows what is ahead. She isn’t trying to control your free time, but she wants to be sure of the following: there is time for the two of you, time for the children and time for the extended family and friends. She knows that if she doesn’t make some time for all parties particularly the in-laws, she will be blamed and looked at by your family as someone who is keeping you away from everyone while being accused by in-laws of “henpecking” you for her own benefit. She knows how people think and she wants to be sure that you and the family is always looked upon with favor.
Wise women are very good at saving money. She isn’t interested in spending every dollar in the house for herself; rather, she knows that bills need to be paid, groceries, toiletries, and other household goods are needed. It makes sense to her to buy in bulk and save; rather than buy in singles and pay double. She is the master at seeing what the future holds. She knows that an emergency savings will be necessary, an education fund will need to be set up, holidays are coming, and so much more. So she spends hours researching, heads to the store with sales papers and coupons in tote looking for the best deals.
A gift that most wise women have is one of instinct also known as women’s intuition. She may have tapped into it in the above examples when she came to you with a series of warnings and questions. Some of these wise women have dreams, visions, and unexplained feelings. They just know when something is wrong or when it is right. She may tell you suddenly to do something that you would have rather put off or stay away from something or someone, if you listen to her and do what she says at that time, you may benefit. She also knows when she is being lied to or betrayed, but she won’t always say, because if she is one of faith, she knows that God will deal with you or those around her accordingly. It is better to avoid lying to a wise woman at all costs. The consequences aren’t ever worth the price of putting your relationship with her at risk.
So before you do the following: write that smart woman off who may be interested in you, end your current relationship, or think the grass is greener on the other side, consider this, wise women are rare nowadays. There aren’t many who come from stable homes with a mom, dad and siblings. There are few who aren’t materialistic and even fewer who grew up amongst prayer warriors. If you are one of those men who have fallen out of love with your wise woman, then work real hard to fall back in love with her. Take some time out and remind yourself about the good ole days and do something special for her and yourself. A wise woman is a keeper.
