Do You Recall Any of Your New Year's Resolutions?

If you made some or even had a few hopes for this year, how are things coming along?

Since the start of the new year, I have been putting in motion my task list--you know that thing some call, "a goal" or "to do" list. I desired to write and read more (both of which I have been doing, but not without some challenges) and I also needed to abstain from some things personally and professionally that were setting me back including impulse buying.

Sometimes you will find yourself needing more time during the day to do something, so that's when some things must be put aside to allow for other things to happen in your life.

I have found that when we set our goals in front of us each day, great things can happen! There is something about looking at what you have and haven't accomplished each day that will give you a good kick in the rear! I don't know about you, but I just can't keep looking at an unfinished business project on a calendar or on notepads daily, and not feel compelled to do something--even if it means just crossing it out and doing something else in its place.

I also found that those things we keep putting off are usually the things we should have been doing in the first place. For instance, if you leave something out in the middle of the floor, like a tool, it just might help you get your task complete. It will serve as a simple reminder to motivate you to get what ever needs to be done immediately. I have personally done this with a vacuum, a carpet shampooer, and a pile of papers and receipts I needed to sort through. What tidy person wants to see that mess in the middle of the floor each day? So what are you most likely going to do? Make time to get those things done, so that you can put what you're keeping back in its proper place.

Sometimes we over-think things and don't get anything done! For example, there was one writing project I kept thinking about and did nothing, but when I left my notes by the computer and only devoted time to that (during my free time which I made time for) that day, it got done. No cell phone was answered, the children were watching movies and playing with toys (which I typically rotate so that they feel that excited feeling every time they see an old toy again.) Once everything else was done, I began typing.

The next day, I did the same thing all over again and then the next day and the next. I think when we think too much about what we have to do, we put pressure on ourselves and then we don't want to do them. Sometimes we just need to jump right in-- turn off the Internet, TV and other distractions and just do them!

When I realized how much time I was wasting during the day, doing routine activities, I found some tools to help make my life easier and free up more time in my busy day. Everything from a four-slice toaster to online programs to automate some of my routine tasks. I also freed myself of "traditions," that were taking far too much money out of my pocket and time away from my business activities. It wasn't necessary to make meals that require a lot of preparation-- especially daily. I stopped taking the children out so much; therefore I cut down spending money on more toys and games that just added to their collection of toy bins. I also took all those birthday wishes off my calendars. It just didn't make sense to spend money on people who don't think enough of you. I also cut off the people who just were no added benefit to my life. How much negativity can one stand? I think of an old song, "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help!"

My friends, this is what it takes to make time to accomplish a New Year's goal or two.

To God be all the glory.

Nicholl McGuire

Poetry: Steel City Under Watch by Nicholl McGuire

When I began really taking an interest in writing it started with a poem about nature back when I was nine years old. Funny, I developed an interest for journal writing at the same time, because I decided to pen it in my first diary.

It's usually a single word, a tugging in my spirit (or what some would call "your gut,") that makes me pen a poem. I don't restrict myself to a certain technique. If I feel like rhyming, then I rhyme, if I just want to write something that doesn't rhyme, isn't very long, and gets right to the point, then I do just that!

So the other day, I awoke to the following poem having been inspired by: the recent explosion of a rapper from Pittsburgh, PA (my hometown) called Wiz Khalifa as well as some interesting research about the music industry (I have been doing for almost two years now.) Here goes...the poem I title, Steel City Under Watch

The brotha from the Burg sitting back acting mellow
tellin' the whole d*mn world, "Black and yellow, black and yellow!"

But the truth be told,
the colors black and gold.

Is the brotha color blind,
what was on his mind?

Behind the scenes we know,
it's all about the show.

Red eyes high
while telling people a lie.

Another celebrity in season.
Fans gave good reason.

An illuminated state
lookin' for its mate.

What seeds did he sow?
Who does he know?

The bees be buzzin'
it seems about a dozen.

They are the called.
They are the chosen.

The industry creates.
The industry breaks.

Give somethin' up,
for that drink in your cup.

Worshiping gods
sparing the rods.

Hoping they will learn
while their parents' yearn
for another star
leaving God afar.

What will it take
for your eyes to be open?
A tragedy or death
seems to be the way of copin'.

Now that you know,
somethin' bout the show,
look around and you will see
that colors really matter to the one-eyed enemy.

Nicholl McGuire

Social Bookmarking

When it comes to keeping up with the many websites I visit, I utilize social bookmarking. One day while surfing the Internet and listening to an Internet guru, I came across an interesting site that helps with my social bookmarking. It is called, Only Wire.

This is a great site that not only helps you keep up with your many posts, but allows you to save all your login information to each website that you bookmark links. Simply put, you don't have to keep logging into your account every time you want to post a bookmark.

To visit the site just click here.

When it Comes to Business, Don't Text or Twitter Me!

"Did you get my text? I sent you a Twitter message...Did you check your Facebook?" Give me a break! People are getting ridiculous with this social media connection business! I don't want a simple text or twitter message about money someone owes me, I have a phone number too! I don't want my landlord sending me an email about fixing something in my apartment without a phone call. When it comes down to business, I believe one should always call to confirm. "Hello, I just wanted to let you know that the money is on the way. I apologize for my tardiness." or "Hi there, I know you are busy, but I will be in the neighborhood and just wanted to follow up to see if you received my email." Now how hard was that to call someone?

You see, some of us communicate back and fourth initially via email, text, etc. but at some point, one of us should be picking up the phone especially when there is a problem. Someone texts, "I don't like what you just said...call me." Texting and emailing about a serious issue can come across harsh. It is almost too easy to get an attitude about what someone says to you when there is no smile, no lol, no anything behind your statement.

Too many days might go by and you haven't heard from someone, it would seem to me that this person is either ignoring you, never received your message, or is still working on an issue. Wouldn't you want to hear a live voice by day three? What if something changed and he or she never bothered to update you on it ? I don't know about you, but my money and time are valuable!

It really gets under my skin when someone says, "I never got your message..." when you know they did while looking at your delivery receipt and confirmation that the email was opened. But that's what happens when you solely rely on texts and email. I understand how convenient a text or email can be, but I also know that a simple phone call to confirm that someone got a message is important.

So when it comes to business, I just might think twice about that person or business who chooses to send me a text; rather than, talk to me. Is the guy confident, sneaky, a liar or hiding something? Is this gal someone who will play the "I didn't get your message" game when there is a problem? hmmm.

On Writing Relationship Articles

I already did the screaming, took the abuse, cried about the lies, and got the divorce, so you didn't have to. I was shut out, ridiculed, falsely accused, and made a public spectacle of, so you wouldn't have to. I have been the sinner and the saint in my relationships. So do I have experience living, breathing, suffocating and dying in relationships, yes!

Did I ever dream that I would ever sit down and pen my relationship experiences in article form? No. Did I ever think that I would get married and have children some day as a child? No. All I ever wanted was a simple life—free of complications, and all I ever got was challenges to overcome—to sit back and analyze, create a solution, implement it, and watch for results. Welcome to a glimpse of my world and most likely your world too when it comes to intimate relationships.

Some of my articles have been painted with a broad stroke, yet there is a lot of detail when you examine closely. Sometimes the work applies to the reader and other times it doesn't. (I still can't understand why some people read work that has nothing to do with them and then will leave ignorant comments! But I digress.) Some of my readers, don't study any art regardless the form whether writing, painting, music, photography etc. so when I write, there are those that see the different art forms including the abstract ones. When they just don't get it and aren't interested in using their critical thinking skills, they will pick up the, “She's crazy, self righteous,” even a tad-bit strange stamp.

Relationships are like abstract art and some were never meant to resemble anything—they just are. They weren't meant to look like mom and dad's relationship, Suzie and Becky's friendship or every other person's family in the neighborhood. I can't explain everything about a certain relationship topic when I write, because sometimes some things aren't meant to be explained in detail, you just have to get out there and make things work for you!

When you read my work, sometimes you will sense my anger, detect my ignorance, witness my truth, but always read my experience with common sense. Some of the advice in my relationship articles is so easy to follow—a teen could do it. Some of my tips have already been done a million times before, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep trying a million times more. I love the readers who say, “I did that already.” Well tweak an old idea, try something different, but do something; rather than, keep reading article after article until your eyes crisscross!

I wish I could please everyone, but we live in an imperfect world and there is no pleasing everyone! So as I grow older, I learned that it's best to walk away from the crowd who gathers around the water-cooler talking about everything that's wrong with someone or something and to avoid taking to heart the comments whether good or bad that say, “Thank you” a thousand times or “I hate you” a thousand more. I have a job to do.

Having a relationship with anyone can be complicated, but I am learning it all depends on the parties involved. If you want to sit around and find fault with a partner, relative or friendship about every little thing he or she does, then welcome complication. If you want to work with these people and find everything they are doing right, then welcome easy street. Bees are attracted to honey and so are people.

One of the worse relationships, besides an abusive one, is the one that you work real hard to do everything right and someone still finds fault with you. Rebounding becomes more and more difficult. First, you reason, “He's having a hard day...” Then you reason, “Well that time it was my fault.” Later, you're asking yourself, “Now how did I get back here again?” So you debate, you use the silent treatment tactic, you rally support from family and friends (being careful not to go into too much detail that will make you look worse than you already look,) and then we are back at square one again in the relationship. We are love-making, “I love you...” with a verbal or physical apology thrown around here and there.

I am learning the older you get, the less energy you have for fighting. It can be challenging having a relationship with someone years older (I have been there done that and still doing it,) because at any given moment this person can look at you and say, “I rather die than fight with you any longer, goodbye.” The energy to stay in the relationship is just not there like it once was and before long you are just sitting at home quiet and alone. Sometimes I wonder about those elderly people, abandoned by their families, I can only imagine the fighting they did in their younger years. It's a thought like this that triggers a memory, then an article and then another and before long I am delving in areas of my own life that people can relate.

I pray that you will find the peace you need from reading my relationship articles. I also hope that the critics will share their experiences too (without the fluff.) It's so easy to sit back and watch the traffic go by, but when it's time to drive in it, some people look for the side streets and back roads. The same holds true when it comes to relationships, there are those that rather not get on the long road toward a committed one, because they think it's just easier to take the short-cuts. But as some of us will tell you, those short-cuts often lead to more drama!

Nicholl McGuire
To read some of my work visit: Amazon Author Central

Over 30 Days Into the New Year Already!

Sometimes you lose track of time when you are having fun! Such was the case when I stopped by my blog and noticed I hadn't updated it in awhile. Lately, I have been very busy and only getting busier with each passing day!

I have been asked by friends when is my next book coming out, I can't help but respond, "Did you read the first one?" There are some nice people out there, don't get me wrong, but seriously when you are showing someone support especially a writer, you have to put your money where your mouth is! I have personally shelled out my share of cash to help those who can help me as well as people I don't know personally and who can't do one thing for me, but smile and say, "Thank you."

If there is one thing I am learning about article writing, pinging, blogging, social bookmarking, and video marketing it is you need time, time and more time in the beginning before you see one penny in your account.

The TV is often shut off, the children have learned how to entertain themselves while I work from home, and the phone is basically non-existent. I tell my family, "You want to spend the money then let me make the money." When you are on the fast track to build dreams, yes you do take the time to smell the roses every now and then, but when you are just getting started, the roses are going to wilt, baby! I will see them when they bloom again!

Stay blessed and have a happy New Year,

Nicholl

When I Finished a Family Memoir I Learned More From What They Didn't Say

"Ain't nothing like talking to an old fool," the voice inside my head chatted away. Disappointed that after hours of interviews and time spent jotting down short sentences with very little adjectives, there still was no substance, no real emotion, and no life lessons behind those who I had been taught since I was a baby to "say Aunt...say Uncle...good girl!" These folks weren't going to hand me any story about their lives on a silver platter. It was as if they were owners of mom and pop shops telling me, "I will offer you the cheapest item in my store while I keep the good stuff in the back closet for the good customers 'cause you can't afford what I got." Oh please, I was going to get the family history even if it meant digging up some info. about the relatives of our family's slave master and letting them talk.

They were my elders who had nothing worthwhile to say unless you probed and probed a little more while sharing a little gossip about yourself or someone else in the hopes that like a mouse they would nibble at the cheese before slamming a trap on them! Finally, you got what you wanted out of the oldest members of your family, pieces of history-- all you wanted was a story to complete the you lost in between the shape of your nose and the color of your skin. You just wanted these secretive old folks to just answer a few questions as to why you were born into the family that you were born. "Now was that hard?" I felt like saying.

I guess it is for some introvert, uneducated, and "content" types in the family. They rather focus on the meaningless tidbits of life like the argument they may have had with a sibling about a game, a drink they drank, something they wore or how you are going to make them look since you are writing about them.

At times I was simply angered with what I was getting from some of my people and tired of using up my energy on trying to get something worthwhile from these folks I call, "family." I had to remind them that they weren't living forever and there was a generation that was growing up real fast after me asking questions about them. "Please share a story about..." I would ask an aunt or uncle. "Could you tell me more about..." Sometimes I was given the run-around, the attitude, and the "call me back" tactics when one feels like the interviewer is getting too close for comfort.

I realized as I interviewed one family member after the other that the true story wasn't the one that these folks was telling, it was the one that I had observed growing up. I had to reflect on the past to feel at peace with the present in order to move on toward the future. So I took the time to interview myself and that is when my passion (that had been fluctuating for weeks about the book) had began to steady and I became more determined than ever to just finish the book. So I did and my memoir/family book finally was removed out of mind and put in print for private viewing of course. (Not a good idea to share everything with the world, you know!)

I had learned through my own observations as a child "Growing Up McGuire" that the things my elders were and weren't saying was the basic building blocks of a good family history book.

In closing, I suggest that you too discover more about those people you call "family" and work to do what's right for future generations. Too often we repeat generational curses, bad traditions, negative actions and the like because we are too lazy, stubborn, and/or brainwashed to do something different.

Nicholl McGuire

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What to Expect when Telling Your Truth
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