On Writing Relationship Articles

I already did the screaming, took the abuse, cried about the lies, and got the divorce, so you didn't have to. I was shut out, ridiculed, falsely accused, and made a public spectacle of, so you wouldn't have to. I have been the sinner and the saint in my relationships. So do I have experience living, breathing, suffocating and dying in relationships, yes!

Did I ever dream that I would ever sit down and pen my relationship experiences in article form? No. Did I ever think that I would get married and have children some day as a child? No. All I ever wanted was a simple life—free of complications, and all I ever got was challenges to overcome—to sit back and analyze, create a solution, implement it, and watch for results. Welcome to a glimpse of my world and most likely your world too when it comes to intimate relationships.

Some of my articles have been painted with a broad stroke, yet there is a lot of detail when you examine closely. Sometimes the work applies to the reader and other times it doesn't. (I still can't understand why some people read work that has nothing to do with them and then will leave ignorant comments! But I digress.) Some of my readers, don't study any art regardless the form whether writing, painting, music, photography etc. so when I write, there are those that see the different art forms including the abstract ones. When they just don't get it and aren't interested in using their critical thinking skills, they will pick up the, “She's crazy, self righteous,” even a tad-bit strange stamp.

Relationships are like abstract art and some were never meant to resemble anything—they just are. They weren't meant to look like mom and dad's relationship, Suzie and Becky's friendship or every other person's family in the neighborhood. I can't explain everything about a certain relationship topic when I write, because sometimes some things aren't meant to be explained in detail, you just have to get out there and make things work for you!

When you read my work, sometimes you will sense my anger, detect my ignorance, witness my truth, but always read my experience with common sense. Some of the advice in my relationship articles is so easy to follow—a teen could do it. Some of my tips have already been done a million times before, but it doesn't mean that we shouldn't keep trying a million times more. I love the readers who say, “I did that already.” Well tweak an old idea, try something different, but do something; rather than, keep reading article after article until your eyes crisscross!

I wish I could please everyone, but we live in an imperfect world and there is no pleasing everyone! So as I grow older, I learned that it's best to walk away from the crowd who gathers around the water-cooler talking about everything that's wrong with someone or something and to avoid taking to heart the comments whether good or bad that say, “Thank you” a thousand times or “I hate you” a thousand more. I have a job to do.

Having a relationship with anyone can be complicated, but I am learning it all depends on the parties involved. If you want to sit around and find fault with a partner, relative or friendship about every little thing he or she does, then welcome complication. If you want to work with these people and find everything they are doing right, then welcome easy street. Bees are attracted to honey and so are people.

One of the worse relationships, besides an abusive one, is the one that you work real hard to do everything right and someone still finds fault with you. Rebounding becomes more and more difficult. First, you reason, “He's having a hard day...” Then you reason, “Well that time it was my fault.” Later, you're asking yourself, “Now how did I get back here again?” So you debate, you use the silent treatment tactic, you rally support from family and friends (being careful not to go into too much detail that will make you look worse than you already look,) and then we are back at square one again in the relationship. We are love-making, “I love you...” with a verbal or physical apology thrown around here and there.

I am learning the older you get, the less energy you have for fighting. It can be challenging having a relationship with someone years older (I have been there done that and still doing it,) because at any given moment this person can look at you and say, “I rather die than fight with you any longer, goodbye.” The energy to stay in the relationship is just not there like it once was and before long you are just sitting at home quiet and alone. Sometimes I wonder about those elderly people, abandoned by their families, I can only imagine the fighting they did in their younger years. It's a thought like this that triggers a memory, then an article and then another and before long I am delving in areas of my own life that people can relate.

I pray that you will find the peace you need from reading my relationship articles. I also hope that the critics will share their experiences too (without the fluff.) It's so easy to sit back and watch the traffic go by, but when it's time to drive in it, some people look for the side streets and back roads. The same holds true when it comes to relationships, there are those that rather not get on the long road toward a committed one, because they think it's just easier to take the short-cuts. But as some of us will tell you, those short-cuts often lead to more drama!

Nicholl McGuire
To read some of my work visit: Amazon Author Central

Over 30 Days Into the New Year Already!

Sometimes you lose track of time when you are having fun! Such was the case when I stopped by my blog and noticed I hadn't updated it in awhile. Lately, I have been very busy and only getting busier with each passing day!

I have been asked by friends when is my next book coming out, I can't help but respond, "Did you read the first one?" There are some nice people out there, don't get me wrong, but seriously when you are showing someone support especially a writer, you have to put your money where your mouth is! I have personally shelled out my share of cash to help those who can help me as well as people I don't know personally and who can't do one thing for me, but smile and say, "Thank you."

If there is one thing I am learning about article writing, pinging, blogging, social bookmarking, and video marketing it is you need time, time and more time in the beginning before you see one penny in your account.

The TV is often shut off, the children have learned how to entertain themselves while I work from home, and the phone is basically non-existent. I tell my family, "You want to spend the money then let me make the money." When you are on the fast track to build dreams, yes you do take the time to smell the roses every now and then, but when you are just getting started, the roses are going to wilt, baby! I will see them when they bloom again!

Stay blessed and have a happy New Year,

Nicholl

When I Finished a Family Memoir I Learned More From What They Didn't Say

"Ain't nothing like talking to an old fool," the voice inside my head chatted away. Disappointed that after hours of interviews and time spent jotting down short sentences with very little adjectives, there still was no substance, no real emotion, and no life lessons behind those who I had been taught since I was a baby to "say Aunt...say Uncle...good girl!" These folks weren't going to hand me any story about their lives on a silver platter. It was as if they were owners of mom and pop shops telling me, "I will offer you the cheapest item in my store while I keep the good stuff in the back closet for the good customers 'cause you can't afford what I got." Oh please, I was going to get the family history even if it meant digging up some info. about the relatives of our family's slave master and letting them talk.

They were my elders who had nothing worthwhile to say unless you probed and probed a little more while sharing a little gossip about yourself or someone else in the hopes that like a mouse they would nibble at the cheese before slamming a trap on them! Finally, you got what you wanted out of the oldest members of your family, pieces of history-- all you wanted was a story to complete the you lost in between the shape of your nose and the color of your skin. You just wanted these secretive old folks to just answer a few questions as to why you were born into the family that you were born. "Now was that hard?" I felt like saying.

I guess it is for some introvert, uneducated, and "content" types in the family. They rather focus on the meaningless tidbits of life like the argument they may have had with a sibling about a game, a drink they drank, something they wore or how you are going to make them look since you are writing about them.

At times I was simply angered with what I was getting from some of my people and tired of using up my energy on trying to get something worthwhile from these folks I call, "family." I had to remind them that they weren't living forever and there was a generation that was growing up real fast after me asking questions about them. "Please share a story about..." I would ask an aunt or uncle. "Could you tell me more about..." Sometimes I was given the run-around, the attitude, and the "call me back" tactics when one feels like the interviewer is getting too close for comfort.

I realized as I interviewed one family member after the other that the true story wasn't the one that these folks was telling, it was the one that I had observed growing up. I had to reflect on the past to feel at peace with the present in order to move on toward the future. So I took the time to interview myself and that is when my passion (that had been fluctuating for weeks about the book) had began to steady and I became more determined than ever to just finish the book. So I did and my memoir/family book finally was removed out of mind and put in print for private viewing of course. (Not a good idea to share everything with the world, you know!)

I had learned through my own observations as a child "Growing Up McGuire" that the things my elders were and weren't saying was the basic building blocks of a good family history book.

In closing, I suggest that you too discover more about those people you call "family" and work to do what's right for future generations. Too often we repeat generational curses, bad traditions, negative actions and the like because we are too lazy, stubborn, and/or brainwashed to do something different.

Nicholl McGuire

Who Am I? Writer and Mother Nicholl McGuire Introduces Herself & Online Business
Sometimes readers want to know a little more about the person behind the scenes who is writing the material that they read. I am taking this opportunity to share a little bit about me and what I do. Enjoy! http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
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What to Expect when Telling Your Truth
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Tempted to do something stupid?

Playing with the kind of thoughts lately that if anyone would know you would surely get locked up? http://ping.fm/gbKae

On Motherhood...

Mothers, are you trying to make sense of those feelings that got you down? Well I have my share. That's why I created a blog for all sorts of moms with all sorts of feelings, check it out: http://ping.fm/zzCiS

How to Use English Punctuation Correctly - wikiHow

I thought this site was worth sharing for writers like myself. This is a quick reference for some of those punctuation errors that frequently come up in the online world.

How to Use English Punctuation Correctly - wikiHow

I Like to Shop on the Net!

When I'm not writing I enjoy shopping on the Internet. I often visit the stores where I need certain items then search on the Internet to see if I can get a better deal and acquire points for future purchases. However, there is always someone or something lingering on the Internet to ruin your shopping experience. Not that long ago, I got an unauthorized charge on my bank statement after using my debit card.

I had made a purchase for an item at what I thought was a reputable company and didn't think twice about using my debit card via the Internet, because I have used it everywhere without incident. I checked out at the company's website and then weeks later discovered there was another charge that was non-related to my purchase from the same company. I went to the bank about the charge and it was cleared.

Then there was another occasion with a different company. This time I didn't receive my product and went to the bank to get my money back since the company was not interested in refunding my money. Well in this situation, the company reversed my claim and somehow the credit that the bank originally gave me, was reversed. So not only did I not get my product, but I didn't get my credit either! I was livid!

So since those incidents, I use prepaid cards and gift cards on the Internet. I can't afford to have everything come out of one bank account. Here is one I have experience using: Need a Prepaid Card to Use on The Internet?