Handy Journals for Work, Business & Play by Nicholl McGuire

If you noticed to the top left corner of this site is a great link to books I have recently created to help organize your thoughts when it comes to work, business and leisure. I came up with these handy creations, because I wanted my most important thoughts to be penned in a great professional looking hardbound book.

If you are like me and you enjoy being organized and making a good first impression then you just might consider these journals. My books are alot cheaper than what you would pay in office stores. Also, these journals have a little more detail than just lines of paper -- check them out! Click on the link to the top left corner of this page!

Dating & Domestic Violence Awareness

My first book Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate by Nicholl McGuire will be circulating in women's shelters in the Allegheny County area, Pittsburgh PA, colleges and other women's groups in the are. It is being given away for free to during October 2009 which is dating and domestic violence awareness.

The book is located at Amazon.com, Lulu.com, Border.com, Target.com and also over at http://LaboringtoLoveanAbusiveMate.blogspot.com where you can also find more information about all kinds of abuse.

I encourage you to get the book! Thanks!

Freelance Writer At Your Service! Nicholl McGuire

With over 20 years work experience and 15 years writing experience, Nicholl McGuire assists individuals and businesses with their online marketing goals by providing them with her writing services. She understands internet marketing, because she too has businesses that she promotes heavily. When you work with her, you are working with a team player! She has prided herself over the years on her dedication to get the job done! Spending many hours online, she writes articles and markets them on various websites and blogs. Some of the subject matter she writes about includes: relationships, parenting, business, products, and services. She has over 300 articles to date! She also has recorded audio as well, a soft, soothing voice, she provides helpful information for both the young and old. To hear her voice, visit http://www.associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire. When she isn't online, she is offline penning her second book entitled, When Mothers Cry and organizing her family's history for a future book.

She is a talented young woman, attractive, and intelligent. She has been blessed spiritually and uses her gifts to better herself and others. Although, she is very dedicated to her faith, she doesn't allow it to jeopardize her relationship with others who may not agree with her beliefs. For she loves people, she appreciates life, and all she wants to do is "just get along" as Rodney King stated after being severely beaten by officers in Los Angeles County back in 1993. McGuire penned an article about the ordeal, her first major news article which was published in an Eastern Illinois University yearbook publication titled, The Warbler. Speaking of college, she has attended three: Eastern Il. University Charleston IL, Duquesne University Pittsburgh PA, and Point Park College (now University) Pittsburgh PA. She completed coursework in print journalism, speech communications, advertising, business writing, desktop publishing, and many others too numerous to list. She was also recognized by Who's Who Among American Colleges and Universities, received the National Communication Arts Award, and other special recognition certificates.

McGuire is also an experienced actress, acappella singer, and dancer. She has performed for dinner theater audiences in Cleveland, OH. She hopes to make a comeback to the performing arts world in the near future lending her talents to producers of commercials and sitcoms. McGuire is definitely an asset to your business and someone definitely worth knowing!

For more information about her writing services, send an email to: nickymcguire1@yahoo.com

Are Some Things Better Left Unsaid?

How do you know when you should keep some things to yourself without being a recluse and share other things without looking foolish? There is a fine line between the two when it comes to writing and so I will take this time to explain.

You see, when I write I have my boundaries I will not cross. If I know a person and he or she is in my inner circle I will tell a story using fictional names and in some cases change the situation a bit. I don't feel it is necessary to share specific details about the person I know since the story is all the reader is really after. As for the person who the story is about, they will feel naked, exposed, even insulted that I would actually share such details about their life. Of course he or she would, because they know who I am talking about. At first it seems like a shock, "how dare you put my business out in the street?" But in time it wears off.

I have been writing stories about people since the sixth grade. I will never forget the short stories I use to write about certain classmates and how I would change their names making a guessing game out of who the story was about. Back then, my classmates got a kick out of it. There were times that some people were offended even as young as we were (11, 12), but they got over it. Especially if it meant that a cute boy or girl liked them. It just meant that they would have to dress better, act better, etc. I was selective about the stories I told and not everything was meant to be said. Anyway, as an adult, I know what I won't discuss when it comes to certain subjects and even I have my limitations. For example, I will not discuss a topic I am not completely comfortable. I will avoid subject matter that is so revealing that it could possibly put someone in a mental ward, jail, break up a relationship, or destroy some other aspect of their life. I also won't talk about subjects I know nothing about unless I have specific information from experts to back up what I am saying.

I enjoy writing about parenting issues, relationships, and other topics related to lifestyle. But what I try to stay away from, unless someone specifically requests I write about it are the following: politics, racial topics outside my own unless I have a personal experience, and religions outside of Christianity. The way I see it there are plenty of people who are passionate enough about these subjects that they can write about them.

I personally believe that for every negative situation that has happened in my life, God has called me to share certain experiences that directly or indirectly affect me. I feel that I am called to help people who simply can't speak for themselves, aren't knowledgeable enough to write about issues that affect them, or just don't want to be bothered with the negative comments that come from writing. Oh I have had my share of negative, ignorant, downright bold statements, and even threats as a result of some of the things I have written about, especially having worked as an Editor in Chief of a college newspaper. I believe that reading audience is the worse! They don't spare your feelings about anything! But I have also had some very positive and life changing stories told to me due to subjects I write about as well.

I have also noticed some things that readers who read my work need to be mindful of and that is when you are making comments about the things you read, some things are better left unsaid just like some subjects are better left not written about as I discussed earlier. The truth of the matter is an article cannot cover all sides, all people, all opinions, and all experiences, because if it did you would be reading a book not an article.

The quickest way to show your true ignorance, readers, about a subject is to say something like, "What about..." What about is usually followed by the other side of an issue that has nothing to do with the subject matter. For instance, if the article is about "Things Women Hate About Men," why would men comment that the article is so one-sided? Another concern some one brought to my attention is "Why do you talk about all the negative issues in your articles, what about the positives?" That's because most of my articles are the kind that solve problems. So why would I talk about how everything is wonderful and nice when that has nothing to do with the problem that the article is trying to solve. I usually provide advice in my articles so that would cover the "positive" spin to the article. Take for instance an article on "Why Husbands Should Be more Supportive of their Wives" this would be considered an editorial piece or possibly a self-help work because of the question "why" in the title. Immediately you know from reading this title that there will be many problems listed in the article and what men should do to solve those problems. If you are a man who isn't interested in problem solving in your own relationship, you would stay away from an article like this, because you know at some point it will offend you.

So is everything worth writing about? Sure. But should you write about everything? It depends. If the goal is to help, I find the more detail the better, if you have to protect some of the people involved but still feel the need to tell the story do so! However, anticipate the phone will ring or some one might visit just be prepared to defend your argument!


Nicholl McGuire
Writer

Home is Where The Heart Is: A Steeler Nation

After the Steelers won the Superbowl I couldn't help but feel a tad bit nostalgic for home. You see, I was born in the Steel City and in 2010 it will be 10 years since I lived in Pittsburgh! I couldn't believe how fast time has went by as I thought of the places I use to hang out! I miss walking the Smithfield Street Bridge, watching the fountain at Point State Park in the summer, and taking the city all in on top of Mount Washington. One day I hope to return, but not anytime soon, I am still living my Calfornia dream!

So congratulations to all, a raised glass to the team! from a Steeler country to a Steeler nation!

Forget about New Years Resolutions! How About New Years' Revelations

It's 2009! Another new year brings about change, for some good, for others bad. But whatever the case, it's all good. Because through change, people have a choice they can either learn from it or be beaten by it! I prefer to accept it and grow from whatever change that may come my way!

You see, I saw and learned alot in 2008. Some of which I never had to face and I learned who was my friend and who was my foe. For years, I thought that people would come through for me when I needed them most since I had a track record with some that said, "I can count on Nicky." But I was wrong and I am glad that change made me take off my rose-colored glasses and face reality.

So I am sharing a little bit of wisdom with you that I learned the hard way.

Being a good friend or relative, doesn't mean you have to share everything including your money and time. I thought that if I rearranged my schedule to accomodate folks that somehow it would keep them from talking about me. People are going to talk about you no matter what you do, so I have learned not to go above and beyond, do what you are most comfortable doing, plain and simple!

Don't allow others to dictate how you should behave. For example, if you don't have the money or time to return a favor, despite what others say, you can't do it. So be honest with yourself and others and just make a mental note that the person who anticipates that you will be able to do something for them will give you a hard time if you should ever need them for something. I usually pray for these people and God makes them my footstool.

Be encouraged even when those around you aren't. There will be those people who will tell you everything that is wrong with your life and will not say one thing that will make you feel encouraged. Don't rely on their comments to build you up; instead, look toward your faith, a stranger, read about how others make themselves happy, or seek out friendship with people who will help you see the positive within you.

These are just a few tips on the wisdom that 2008 brought me. For more articles by me related to relationships, family, health, and money, Click Here

Are Secrets Destroying Your Relationship? What to Do About Them.

Someone knows something about you that you don’t want your partner to know. You know you should have told him or her by now; but you don’t want to because you fear what he or she may think of you if they knew the truth, so you continue to lie or don’t say anything at all.

It may have been a scar on your body that you lied about, an experience that you told them but left out the details, or something that you did in the past that you regret. Whatever the secret, if it is killing your peace, stealing your joy, or destroying your relationship, then it is something that has to be said and you will just have to deal with the consequences as they come up.
People lie out of fear and they make up excuses when they don’t want to bother with the truth. “I told you this lie, because I was scared you would break up with me.” The reality is that a person will more likely break up with you because you didn’t just come out with the truth and kept the lie going. It is never too late to tell the truth, but if and when you do, prepare yourself for the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Too many people have a false hope when it comes to a secret-- the hope that no one will ever find out about it. But as we see someone always finds out as long as there is someone living to talk about it or evidence circulating about it. That is why in the movies the snitch is murdered and the object of discussion is destroyed. But such drastic measures need not happen when the truth is told right from the very beginning. There is a way to tell the truth and relieve your conscience without saying anything and the following information will help you do just that.

Some people will purposely leave information behind so that someone else tells what happens. Others will tell a big mouth in the hopes that they will tell whoever needs to be told or they may write an anonymous letter. Strangers can be some secretive people’s best friends by being there to listen. They are able to find the peace they need when they confide in someone who isn’t involved and doesn’t know them.

Another way to tell your truth is by leaving circumstances and events open to question. For example, you can tell just enough about an incident and leave it open to interpretation usually leaning toward the truth. The person listening can read between the lines if they are smart enough. If it is too embarrassing even for them, they may have learned of the secret, but never say a word. I think of media outlets like the National Enquirer, they wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t some celebrity’s assistant, family member or friend feeding them with secrets. Who knows maybe this is why many celebrities don’t bother to sue, because they know it all isn’t a lie?

You may be giving yourself a hard time about someone finding out about your secret or maybe someone else is giving you stress about someone finding out, but if it is killing what matters the most to you then rid yourself of it and try using some of the ways that were explained to you. Because if you don’t, you will find yourself creating more lies to cover up lies.

Once you have made up in your mind how you will expose your secret, have thought about all of the consequences as a result, go ahead and show or tell your truth. Just like a teacher assigns a child a “show and tell” assignment in school, you will have to be prepared to show or tell your secret. Avoid the temptation to lie again and if you find yourself doing it, tell the person, “I’m sorry, let me try this again…this is what I really meant…no what I just said is incorrect…” If you fear the person may act violent, don’t be around when they find out your secret. If you rely on the person for food, money, and shelter then wait until you have these things before you tell them anything. You don’t want to be put out on the street. If you have children with this person, be sure you know what to do if they should threaten to take your children away from you because of the secret. If you know you have done or said something that may help in a criminal investigation then be sure to have a support system around you such as a lawyer, clergy, and family.

 There are those secrets that may be related to employment. If so, don’t say anything unless you have another job. You don’t want to do the right thing and then find that you are without a job. Exposing a secret has to be well thought out, timed appropriately and all options must be exhausted. People get into heaps of trouble when they don’t consider who may get hurt and what may happen as a result of exposing a secret that affects them or someone else.

When you expose a secret that is bringing you or someone you love much pain and grief, you will feel a peace in spite of the consequences. You will wonder what took you so long. In time, you will find that you are acting different. There will be those bouts that you will wish you had never said anything, but then you will remember the peace of having finally told. Even if you don’t feel comfortable in your decision initially, think of the person who may be helped as a result. Of course, if you have told lies to cover up your secret, you will have to earn their trust again.

Think of the many people who have told their stories of sexual and physical abuse, things they saw, what they heard and how their stories helped so many including themselves. If we all kept everything to ourselves and said nothing, then we would all die with broken hearts having helped no one. I thank God for those people who came before me and shared their terrible secrets, if it wasn’t for their courage, I would have never been able to face my own challenges.

Sometimes when people carry secrets they may not realize that what is so important to them may not matter to the person who loves them. If someone truly loves you, then they will walk through the fire with you. If you look at the benefit of having a secret and eventually tell it, you will find that it is a test on whether or not a relationship was meant to be. If this person who claims that they love you can’t handle a little secret, then what makes you think they will be able to handle even bigger challenges in the future? You may have to re-evaluate whether you want this person to continue to be a part of your life.

Finally, there are those secrets that don’t help anyone and those are better left being buried with you when you die.

Nicholl McGuire writes for numerous websites, feel free to learn more about her services and connect here at Nicholl McGuire Media

10 Internet & Email Dating Tips

The following tips will help you with your quest to find someone who is right for you online.

1. When reviewing the photos of people on social networking sites, be sure that you don't pick someone who is seen in all his or her photographs smiling with their mouth closed, wearing a hat, sitting down, wearing an unusual amount of makeup, or standing behind someone or something. This person is obviously trying to cover up their hidden flaws. They may be balding, obese or very short, have terrible looking teeth, covering up birthmarks, freckles or pimples or they may have some kind of handicap.

2. If you should find someone who has done this in all there photographs, ask them in your email to send you a recent photo. Now he or she may not have one, but give them enough time to get one taken. If they are always coming up with an excuse, move on.

3. Don't rush to ask for phone numbers. If you find that you are anxious to speak to this person over the phone, think about why. Is it because you haven't had sex in awhile, you are just curious about his or her voice, and/or he or she is saying all the right things in their emails? Whatever the case, write as much as you like until you are comfortable with the answers you are receiving and that you honestly care for this person. (If they seem as if they are putting you off, not responding to email in a timely manner or answering all emails with little or no detail, move on.)

4. Be sure when you are writing your first emails to them that you aren't getting "too serious". Don't get into your desires of being married and having children right away or writing a history of every Tom, Dick and Harry or Jane, Mary and Tina who ever broke your heart. Find out what their likes and dislikes are, what they enjoy doing daily, where do they like to go, what kind of hobbies they love, how do they feel about their job, family, and friends. In later emails, you may want to bring up the serious topics in such a way that would not make them run for the border. For instance, when asking about a mental condition, you may say that you read somewhere how most mental illnesses are genetic and that you found out from a friend that he is bipolar (don't make up a lie, but use a true case.) Do they know of anyone who has suffered from the disease?

5. Don't forget to spell check your emails. Many educated people who can spell well, frown at emails that are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. Be sure to read over what you write aloud. This helps when you are trying to find out if you communicated your point well.

6. There is no set time on how long you email back and fourth, so don't set a limit of how long you will do it. He or she may have other email pals or gals, but don't let that push you to ask for a date sooner rather than later. Sometimes those other email pals or gals are in a rush to meet and then ultimately hang themselves being disrespectful, pushy, lying, cheating etc. It is better to play the best friend or confidante role to get what you want long term rather than the one night stand.

7. Remember in your emails to acknowledge birthdays and other holidays. Ask about family and friends by name (if you know any.) It makes the receiver feel like you have been thinking about them and sincerely care.

8. When he or she feels like they can trust you, you may want to send them something special in the mail. Reassure them that you wouldn't surprise them on their job or at home, but that you just want to send them something nice. If they aren't ready to share their address, don't take it personal just say, "Maybe next time."

9. Now that you have survived the email relationship, you may want to ask for that all important date. Start the email off by saying how much you enjoyed writing, but you would like to exchange phone numbers. If they say no, be patient, at least you know that they will be thinking about it. The reason why it is a big deal for some people is they feel if they talk with you on the phone that eventually it will lead to something more and if they aren't ready they don't want to lead you on.

10. When you set up the date, time and meeting place, be sure to leave a note in your apartment and tell someone close to you where you will be going. Better yet, if you can have someone at your home to take a photo of the two of you or glance at the license plate of his or her vehicle, you will be playing it safe.

Nicholl McGuire writes for numerous websites, feel free to learn more about her services and connect here at Nicholl McGuire Media

How Do You Know Your Boyfriend is Lying to You?

Whether you are in a new relationship or still trying to figure out an old one, chances are you either have been lied to or suspect your mate is lying to you again, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this article. To determine whether your mate is being honest with you the next time you question him or her, you will want to pay attention to the following signs. Although these clues may vary with some people, they are very popular with most liars.

Let's begin with one common tactic used by liars. You have approached him or her with a question followed by proof. He or she is obviously upset that you found out the truth. They will look for reasons to find faults with you also known as shifting blame. "Well if you hadn't went through my things we wouldn't be arguing? It's because of your insecurity is why I did what I did."

A softer tactic a liar will use to get off the hot seat is the all important phone call, meeting, or some other event. "Can this wait? I really have to go." In addition, they may even throw in a quick, "You know I love you and you are the only one for me."

Other distractions are touching, making jokes, coming up with a sudden emergency, or making up similar excuses to get away from you, so that it allows them time to assess the situation and come up with another lie to cover up the one you just found out.

Liars will easily become defensive by accusing you of "wanting to pick a fight" or another good one "What's with all the questions?" This is another attempt to buy some time to come up with a good story.

The wild, wide-eyed look is a great Kodak moment. They are trying to figure out what all do you really know. They are obviously in shock that you were smart enough to figure out their lie.

Bill Clinton used this next one. It's called "deny everything." Deny you were there, said it, or did it, and anything else you can deny. The liar's goal is to make you feel as if you are crazy and second-guess what you thought you heard or saw. Don't try to talk yourself out of what you know, he or she is guilty. Listen to your gut.

Liars feel like you are attacking them when you ask probing questions, so they will attack back. "Where were you last week when I called? Do I ask you about the people you talk to on the phone?" They may even call you a name or two just to get you off their back.

Without proof, what's the use in asking a liar questions, right? Maybe you don't want to reveal how you found out at least not at that moment. If you tell him or her that you can prove they are lying, they will encourage you to show your proof. The liar would like to call your bluff. When they see you are not bluffing, be prepared to hear another lie. They will discredit the proof or ask you how you got your information. Don't ever tell them exactly how you got anything! If you intend to stay with them a little while longer, you will want to follow up on a later date to see if they have developed a new habit like telling the truth. The liar will be more careful next time if you reveal all your secrets.

Some liars will have a quirky smile on their face. It isn't meant to be positive, it's really a frown turned upside down-a look of getting caught. Following the smile, the eyes will drop to the floor or look away from you.

There is the all-important pause after the question was asked or the "I didn't hear you" act. There is nothing wrong with his or her hearing; they heard you the first time. They just need the time to think like with all the other tactics. While they are pausing as they speak, watch how the eyes are looking away or down to the floor again, thinking of "What should I say?"

In summary, when a liar has been busted. Remember to first watch the facial expression. Facial muscles will either tense up or drop. The look is sorrowful or sad. Then gradually his or her mood will become angry. For temperamental people they will skip feeling sad and go right into the emotional anger outburst. Next, the liar will find an excuse to avoid talking about it further. They will not want to look at your face; instead they look down or away from you. The liar will make up a story to cover up the lie told. Some liars will tell only part of the truth and later come back asking for your forgiveness. Liars will want to try to make up immediately. From sex to gift giving, whatever makes you happy. Lastly, they will promise they won't do it again. However, old habits die hard so expect to be lied to again until they grow tired of getting busted.

Here's where many people who find out they have been lied to make mistakes. They continue to act as if everything is okay after the confrontation. In the beginning, you may have been angry, sad, or tearful, but you got over it and acted as if all was forgotten. You never held them accountable for their actions, nor did you follow up to see if he or she is telling you the truth. You are sold on their promises to never do it again.

Some victims of liars become obsessed with finding out more information and begin to nag their mates about everything. The key to healing is to know what you will do if they do it again. Give he or she the benefit of the doubt, but protect your heart by not being so trusting. If you don't have peace in the relationship, it will turn into a vicious cycle of break up to make up. Do you really want that circus in your life? If you know there is no hope for change, don't stick around. However, if you know there is some hope, then forgive and try to forget by not bringing their fault back up to them. Liars will confide in the one who they cheated with, a friend or family member with some of your relationship problems, but they will not tell them the whole story. Eventually when you have had enough of the endless cycle of make up to break up over lies, you will be sending him or her their walking papers. Although you may or may not ever find out the whole truth, whatever you do, embrace what you have found out and use it to set you free.

Nicholl McGuire writes for numerous websites, feel free to learn more about her services and connect here at Nicholl McGuire Media