Since my book was printed, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate on Amazon.com, some years back, I continued with updating my blog about abusive experiences, signs, and tips. I thought it was best I do this so that readers of my book would have a place to go online that welcomes their issues, provides solutions and simply understands. There aren't too many people that will allow themselves to comprehend much less offer assistance to someone who isn't leaving an abusive mate (at least not yet.)
Many of the contributing writers and myself, have all been there and done that. Some people may still be going through some challenges and just haven't revealed everything. I am not where I use to be (in my past experience with abuse,) but because of it, I still have those times where it is difficult for me in my present relationship.
Honesty is the best policy in any relationship. Be honest about the things that a partner says or does that trigger an emotional outburst. Tell the truth, even if it hurts, when your partner is making you feel uncomfortable. Do what you must to try to keep the peace in your relationship. For instance, if you know that at times the children drive you mad, go into a room and close the door!
So many couples spend more time trying to deceive one another and others into thinking they are fine and their relationships are the best; rather, than choosing to deal with the things privately that are bringing it down slowly but surely. Some couples are so blinded by evil that they can't even see it! Therefore, they justify their self-destructive actions or inactions in a relationship as them "just being them."
You have to wonder just how much does someone care about his or her partner when they always look to excuse bad behavior. "Oh that's just the way he is...She's crazy, but I love her...That's just how we do...I don't care..." Sure you don't.
So check out my blog about Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. It is definitely a wake up call for couples who think that their relationship is okay when it really isn't, and it's a very useful blog to those who are interested in checking out of that abusive relationship slowly but surely.
Nicholl
You might only have one chance to make the right not write impression.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Just a Word about Online Selling/Marketing on Social Networking Sites
Some business people have bragged about how much money they have received and how many prospects they recruited as a result of marketing and/or selling via social networking sites like MySpace, Facebook, and Black Planet. Yet, what they don’t tell you is the specific details of the plan they used to get them. They avoid telling you this, because they hope to sell what they know in a future e-book, consider their information too valuable to give up and don’t want to have to compete with a fellow seller in the future using the same tactics. Marketing and/or selling online depends upon two things: the type of product, service or event you are selling and how you go about marketing in order to get people to act. However, these days, it isn't easy and all that glitters isn't gold. Many products, services and events just don't measure up to the hype! Online marketers lose out on a lot of money and/or time before they find the right system that truly works for them. Marketing and selling with the intent to make long-term finances isn't going to happen overnight! It sincerely does take years of preparation. You can click around my site to read more about experiences.
As we all know, some products just don’t do well on social networking sites. They may cost too much or be too cumbersome to obtain. The company's website may be a headache to visit due to all the video, music, slow uploads, error codes, and long forms to fill out. Sometimes sellers are terrible marketers and do the following to lose a potential sale such as: bombard friends’ sites with lots of ads, ask for friendship without bothering to compliment or visit someone’s site, avoid starting a relationship with their potential customer, don’t support other sellers, and won’t respond to emails when they are contacted.
Trying to sell your own products can be a problem especially if others are trying to do the same. The social networking sites’ owners know this and will disable your links if you are an affiliate marketer or put up warnings of possible viruses to dissuade people from visiting your site. So at times, you may have to mask your links so that you don't come off as an affiliate marketer, but a website owner. The social networking site owners know that if they allow marketer’s links all over their website's pages, visitors won’t stay at their site for long before they are clicking off and onto other competitors' sites. Owners of social networking sites hope that visitors will click on their Google ads so that revenue stays on their website. So unless you keep adding new friends and take out advertising on these sites, besides hitting up your existing friend list, you won't really get any noteworthy results.
If a marketer wants to be seen by others, he or she will have to log in frequently to their page and do the following: keep content fresh, make contact with their network, post blog entries, visit forums, and do other things to get noticed. Some marketers engage their audience with thought-provoking commentary, others survey the public, while other users just leave flattering comments on friend's sites hoping that this will lead friends back their page.
Successful marketers usually have software to help them add friends or use other clever ways to save time obtaining friendship manually. Sometimes using friend adder software can backfire often getting a marketer kicked off a social networking site.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't always about business for most marketers when joining these sites. There are people on social networking sites who do look for legitimate friendships. However, when too many people are marketing their wares, visiting a social networking site can be an unpleasant experience for all. Some users will get angry and report marketers to the website watchdogs. Sometimes other marketers may be jealous of an individual’s larger network and report him or her in spite.
The more contact you make with those in your network the better! A friendly “how are you” email helps. A link back to your website in your forum signature is a great, non-intrusive way to get people to check out your site. Posting to your wall can generate interest, but remember to limit what you post and have a variety of updates ie.) photos, questions, comments, etc. One of the biggest mistakes business owners make is mixing too much pleasure with business. You can do this so much that you eventually offend people. Unless your business is in the areas of politics, religion, relationship, parenting etc. then you do not want to post things about your personal thoughts on sexuality, spirituality and the like. Sure, it's your opinion, but wouldn't you prefer money; rather than a comment from a potential customer which most likely will debate his or her viewpoint on your site. Before you know it, you have an onslaught of angry commenters on your page. Definitely a bad move, if you are trying to get new customers, attendees, recruits, and more.
As for forums at a social networking site, these areas can get tricky if a business owner is not posting relevant information. Doing this can actually get your messages deleted and possibly your account. Also, if the watchdogs see too many postings, they have a way of slowing you down by sending a warning email, commenting on your posts by making spam accusations, or sudden errors come up in the midst of all your posting. There are marketers who also use software to post to forums as well, but once again be mindful of these programs.
Just a side note, classified ads on these social networking sites can be helpful for marketing, but once again, depending on the product a business owner is trying to sell it can be useless; since many people visiting the site are more interested in socializing then clicking on classified ads. Remember, most people still visit Internet search engines, type in a particular website address or pick-up offline material based on their needs.
Marketing a business on a social networking site is a great learning experience, but can be a big time waster if a marketer isn’t seeing any results after following a proven system. When you see free ways to promote your business (such as clicking on everyone’s profile page and sending them an email about your product and/or event) is not working, like door-to-door selling, keep it moving or try another method to market your business.
Nicholl McGuire
Check out some of the topics I enjoy writing and speaking about by clicking on the following links.
Relationship, business, spirituality, and parenting topics here.
Watch my latest YouTube videos here.
As we all know, some products just don’t do well on social networking sites. They may cost too much or be too cumbersome to obtain. The company's website may be a headache to visit due to all the video, music, slow uploads, error codes, and long forms to fill out. Sometimes sellers are terrible marketers and do the following to lose a potential sale such as: bombard friends’ sites with lots of ads, ask for friendship without bothering to compliment or visit someone’s site, avoid starting a relationship with their potential customer, don’t support other sellers, and won’t respond to emails when they are contacted.
Trying to sell your own products can be a problem especially if others are trying to do the same. The social networking sites’ owners know this and will disable your links if you are an affiliate marketer or put up warnings of possible viruses to dissuade people from visiting your site. So at times, you may have to mask your links so that you don't come off as an affiliate marketer, but a website owner. The social networking site owners know that if they allow marketer’s links all over their website's pages, visitors won’t stay at their site for long before they are clicking off and onto other competitors' sites. Owners of social networking sites hope that visitors will click on their Google ads so that revenue stays on their website. So unless you keep adding new friends and take out advertising on these sites, besides hitting up your existing friend list, you won't really get any noteworthy results.
If a marketer wants to be seen by others, he or she will have to log in frequently to their page and do the following: keep content fresh, make contact with their network, post blog entries, visit forums, and do other things to get noticed. Some marketers engage their audience with thought-provoking commentary, others survey the public, while other users just leave flattering comments on friend's sites hoping that this will lead friends back their page.
Successful marketers usually have software to help them add friends or use other clever ways to save time obtaining friendship manually. Sometimes using friend adder software can backfire often getting a marketer kicked off a social networking site.
Don't get me wrong, it isn't always about business for most marketers when joining these sites. There are people on social networking sites who do look for legitimate friendships. However, when too many people are marketing their wares, visiting a social networking site can be an unpleasant experience for all. Some users will get angry and report marketers to the website watchdogs. Sometimes other marketers may be jealous of an individual’s larger network and report him or her in spite.
The more contact you make with those in your network the better! A friendly “how are you” email helps. A link back to your website in your forum signature is a great, non-intrusive way to get people to check out your site. Posting to your wall can generate interest, but remember to limit what you post and have a variety of updates ie.) photos, questions, comments, etc. One of the biggest mistakes business owners make is mixing too much pleasure with business. You can do this so much that you eventually offend people. Unless your business is in the areas of politics, religion, relationship, parenting etc. then you do not want to post things about your personal thoughts on sexuality, spirituality and the like. Sure, it's your opinion, but wouldn't you prefer money; rather than a comment from a potential customer which most likely will debate his or her viewpoint on your site. Before you know it, you have an onslaught of angry commenters on your page. Definitely a bad move, if you are trying to get new customers, attendees, recruits, and more.
As for forums at a social networking site, these areas can get tricky if a business owner is not posting relevant information. Doing this can actually get your messages deleted and possibly your account. Also, if the watchdogs see too many postings, they have a way of slowing you down by sending a warning email, commenting on your posts by making spam accusations, or sudden errors come up in the midst of all your posting. There are marketers who also use software to post to forums as well, but once again be mindful of these programs.
Just a side note, classified ads on these social networking sites can be helpful for marketing, but once again, depending on the product a business owner is trying to sell it can be useless; since many people visiting the site are more interested in socializing then clicking on classified ads. Remember, most people still visit Internet search engines, type in a particular website address or pick-up offline material based on their needs.
Marketing a business on a social networking site is a great learning experience, but can be a big time waster if a marketer isn’t seeing any results after following a proven system. When you see free ways to promote your business (such as clicking on everyone’s profile page and sending them an email about your product and/or event) is not working, like door-to-door selling, keep it moving or try another method to market your business.
Nicholl McGuire
Check out some of the topics I enjoy writing and speaking about by clicking on the following links.
Relationship, business, spirituality, and parenting topics here.
Watch my latest YouTube videos here.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
New Year's Resolution? None Here
Happy New Year everyone!
Now just because it's another new year, I'm not requiring myself to create any particular New Year's resolution. However, I am requiring myself to apply what I have learned last year and do some things that will make my life a little bit more interesting and settled for this year. Some of which includes: taking care of the basics like relationship and parenting goals, money management and my own personal walk with the Lord (without being confined to church walls and men's twisted teachings of biblical truths. Can I get an Amen?) I started changing my outlook in these areas of my life back in 2009. Then by 2011, I received some life-changing plans. Everything I did answered the following question, "How do I apply biblical truths to my life each day?" This year it's time to give birth to what I have been learning. Notice, I have been in a state of emergency with every change (9-11.) It is indeed time to come up higher, folks!
There are those who restrict the intelligence of the Most High (I am referring to the one true God) to their inner circles. They feel like the Average Joe just isn't privy to his wisdom apart from the biblical stories. But if you choose to have a personal relationship with a being beyond basic human understanding, then you have to know that he is one who always has a plan for your life which is, dare I say it, better than yours! A man who wants to keep you dependent on him, like a crack head needing a fix, is not going to reveal any universal plan in its entirety or any prophetic word that will lead you away from him! He will leave those details out! Why? Because he needs your money and your service to promote his plan. He doesn't care about your personal goals.
Do you really know what the one true God's plan is for your life? If you take the time to know the Lord, study his word and be open to a relationship, he will reveal his plan step-by-step. Now what is revealed to you will affect those around you and they may or may not be on-board. From the politicians to the local store owner, what you do with your time and money affects everyone besides your family. This is why everyone wants you to stay close to them. Momma doesn't want to let go. Daddy wants to keep you around. Your spouse wants you to stay at home all the time. Your children want you to play with them all the time. No one wants or will give you the time to just think! You have to steal that time!
The Pharaohs of this earth have ignored God's plagues like in the Book of Exodus. The little people ie.) Moses and Aaron (you and me) keep telling these kings, leaders and others what to look out for; yet, they continue to act stubborn in their ways. So sad, but true, it won't be long before they will be wiped out (ie. look at the many different world leaders who are no longer with us to date.) The same destruction will happen on the national and local levels. So if you are hurting for money, sell your business and add that money to your savings account. If you need some debt relief, start making phone calls and negotiating with creditors. If you are hoping that a dead-end relationship on a personal or professional level will turn around, not now, you have a choice either stick it out or end it. There is no, "wait and see--things will get better."
Now I am not on this blog site just because I enjoy blogging, nor am I on here, because I get a few cents from an ad, but I am here because I have a calling on my life to write. I wouldn't know that unless I had allowed myself to be in touch with the one true God. For decades, I was oppressed by family, school, businesses, other associations, and friends to walk a path that was created for someone else. I had very little say at one point in my life on what I was supposed to do and say, because of all my brainwashing. In other words, what I thought I wanted wasn't really what I wanted. Now that I am growing older and wiser, I realized that what I had been "buying" into over the years on a personal and professional level isn't what I really wanted. Yes indeed, it's time for something different to happen in my life and yours too!
As I write, I think of you reader, you probably realize too that you were sold a bag of garbage for far too long! You allowed people, places, things, circumstances and the like to influence your decision making. You probably made some poor choices while the atmosphere you were in appealed to your five senses, now you are regretting some things. But can I tell you, you can get out of your mess and you will! But you will have to do much such as: read more about the subject area that troubles you, write about it and to those who you need to help you, save and spend money to get yourself out of trouble, and most of all try to keep the peace until your day of freedom comes which means not yelling, slamming doors, cussing people out--just acting like a fool! When your freedom comes, my friend, you will be stronger and wiser, I promise you that! It takes one to know one, so the old adage goes!
Sometimes we all walk toward pits then fall in them without anyone around to warn us. This happens because there is something we need to learn while we are in the pit and sometimes the only way to get our attention to do good is through a bad situation. As I write, I think of the story of Joseph in the Bible. But when it is all said and done, like Joseph you will have your day to shine!
Know that there is something beyond the skies much greater than these weak humans on this planet! You don't have to settle for man's dumb, dark philosophies! You don't have to agree with everyone. You definitely don't have to sell your soul to the Devil unless that is what you want but if you have already, you can reverse the curse, but you will definitely have to be on the winning side with the one true God on a consistent basis for that to happen which requires a sacrifice (Jesus performed the blood one already,) I mean all that dark thinking and stuff!
Remember whatever choice you make in this world will affect you on the other side (you do know there is another side after death, right?) It is up to you to either wallow in the mistakes of the past or do something today to mark your future in the most positive way.
Thank God, not me, for today's inspiring message.
Nicholl McGuire
Feel free to read my other work on these sites: When Mothers Cry http://whenmotherscry.blogspot.com African American Lifestyle http://africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com Spiritual Poems by Nicholl: Thoughts and Words to Convict http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com
Now just because it's another new year, I'm not requiring myself to create any particular New Year's resolution. However, I am requiring myself to apply what I have learned last year and do some things that will make my life a little bit more interesting and settled for this year. Some of which includes: taking care of the basics like relationship and parenting goals, money management and my own personal walk with the Lord (without being confined to church walls and men's twisted teachings of biblical truths. Can I get an Amen?) I started changing my outlook in these areas of my life back in 2009. Then by 2011, I received some life-changing plans. Everything I did answered the following question, "How do I apply biblical truths to my life each day?" This year it's time to give birth to what I have been learning. Notice, I have been in a state of emergency with every change (9-11.) It is indeed time to come up higher, folks!
There are those who restrict the intelligence of the Most High (I am referring to the one true God) to their inner circles. They feel like the Average Joe just isn't privy to his wisdom apart from the biblical stories. But if you choose to have a personal relationship with a being beyond basic human understanding, then you have to know that he is one who always has a plan for your life which is, dare I say it, better than yours! A man who wants to keep you dependent on him, like a crack head needing a fix, is not going to reveal any universal plan in its entirety or any prophetic word that will lead you away from him! He will leave those details out! Why? Because he needs your money and your service to promote his plan. He doesn't care about your personal goals.
Do you really know what the one true God's plan is for your life? If you take the time to know the Lord, study his word and be open to a relationship, he will reveal his plan step-by-step. Now what is revealed to you will affect those around you and they may or may not be on-board. From the politicians to the local store owner, what you do with your time and money affects everyone besides your family. This is why everyone wants you to stay close to them. Momma doesn't want to let go. Daddy wants to keep you around. Your spouse wants you to stay at home all the time. Your children want you to play with them all the time. No one wants or will give you the time to just think! You have to steal that time!
The Pharaohs of this earth have ignored God's plagues like in the Book of Exodus. The little people ie.) Moses and Aaron (you and me) keep telling these kings, leaders and others what to look out for; yet, they continue to act stubborn in their ways. So sad, but true, it won't be long before they will be wiped out (ie. look at the many different world leaders who are no longer with us to date.) The same destruction will happen on the national and local levels. So if you are hurting for money, sell your business and add that money to your savings account. If you need some debt relief, start making phone calls and negotiating with creditors. If you are hoping that a dead-end relationship on a personal or professional level will turn around, not now, you have a choice either stick it out or end it. There is no, "wait and see--things will get better."
Now I am not on this blog site just because I enjoy blogging, nor am I on here, because I get a few cents from an ad, but I am here because I have a calling on my life to write. I wouldn't know that unless I had allowed myself to be in touch with the one true God. For decades, I was oppressed by family, school, businesses, other associations, and friends to walk a path that was created for someone else. I had very little say at one point in my life on what I was supposed to do and say, because of all my brainwashing. In other words, what I thought I wanted wasn't really what I wanted. Now that I am growing older and wiser, I realized that what I had been "buying" into over the years on a personal and professional level isn't what I really wanted. Yes indeed, it's time for something different to happen in my life and yours too!
As I write, I think of you reader, you probably realize too that you were sold a bag of garbage for far too long! You allowed people, places, things, circumstances and the like to influence your decision making. You probably made some poor choices while the atmosphere you were in appealed to your five senses, now you are regretting some things. But can I tell you, you can get out of your mess and you will! But you will have to do much such as: read more about the subject area that troubles you, write about it and to those who you need to help you, save and spend money to get yourself out of trouble, and most of all try to keep the peace until your day of freedom comes which means not yelling, slamming doors, cussing people out--just acting like a fool! When your freedom comes, my friend, you will be stronger and wiser, I promise you that! It takes one to know one, so the old adage goes!
Sometimes we all walk toward pits then fall in them without anyone around to warn us. This happens because there is something we need to learn while we are in the pit and sometimes the only way to get our attention to do good is through a bad situation. As I write, I think of the story of Joseph in the Bible. But when it is all said and done, like Joseph you will have your day to shine!
Know that there is something beyond the skies much greater than these weak humans on this planet! You don't have to settle for man's dumb, dark philosophies! You don't have to agree with everyone. You definitely don't have to sell your soul to the Devil unless that is what you want but if you have already, you can reverse the curse, but you will definitely have to be on the winning side with the one true God on a consistent basis for that to happen which requires a sacrifice (Jesus performed the blood one already,) I mean all that dark thinking and stuff!
Remember whatever choice you make in this world will affect you on the other side (you do know there is another side after death, right?) It is up to you to either wallow in the mistakes of the past or do something today to mark your future in the most positive way.
Thank God, not me, for today's inspiring message.
Nicholl McGuire
Feel free to read my other work on these sites: When Mothers Cry http://whenmotherscry.blogspot.com African American Lifestyle http://africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com Spiritual Poems by Nicholl: Thoughts and Words to Convict http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
You got family drama?
Friday, November 18, 2011
Back to the Drawing Board...
After years of writing for myself and other websites from home, I spent the summer working as a temporary employee for a bank. I needed the time and money to be more of a help to myself and others during that stage in my life. I believe that one must not only take, but also give to others as one's Lord leads him or her to. It makes sense to me, because the one who created me, knows the future. Therefore, I will sow seed wherever he tells me the harvest is, capice?
Anyway, I have been reworking old home business plans in my head these days and ridding myself of dead-end so-called home business opportunities. I am still a work in progress and find that sometimes I tend to get too overwhelmed and excited about little things that just have no place or impact in my life. I think we are all guilty of this, hoping for things that clearly aren't prosperous and talking to people that can't help us.
I thank you as always for taking time out of your busy day to keep up with me on Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, YouTube and elsewhere, your prayers and support are definitely encouraging and have not gone unnoticed. You can send me a message at: virtualassistant007@yahoo.com
Lastly, for those of you who followed me on AC and/or Yahoo, you can catch up on my latest relationship articles on my advice blog.
Nicholl McGuire
Anyway, I have been reworking old home business plans in my head these days and ridding myself of dead-end so-called home business opportunities. I am still a work in progress and find that sometimes I tend to get too overwhelmed and excited about little things that just have no place or impact in my life. I think we are all guilty of this, hoping for things that clearly aren't prosperous and talking to people that can't help us.
I thank you as always for taking time out of your busy day to keep up with me on Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, YouTube and elsewhere, your prayers and support are definitely encouraging and have not gone unnoticed. You can send me a message at: virtualassistant007@yahoo.com
Lastly, for those of you who followed me on AC and/or Yahoo, you can catch up on my latest relationship articles on my advice blog.
Nicholl McGuire
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Visit me on YouTube
Lately, I have felt like sharing more from my previous works. You can listen to me read from my very own books at YouTube channel: nmenterprise7. There you will hear contrast and rhyming poetry about myself and experiences as well as thought-provoking commentary on relationships, life and spirituality. Enjoy!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Silence: A Place of Peace Will Uplift
Some people are so use to noise that if it is quiet at anytime in their lives, they think that something is wrong. If no one calls them for a period of time, if the family doesn't have the TV up loud or a radio on somewhere in the home, "What's wrong?" they think. There is absolutely nothing wrong when there are those moments of peace that come out of no where! If anything these are opportunities to check yourself, check your children, and anything else that needs checking, then sit back and relax! This is how I build upon my creative side, I tap into those peaceful moments during the day.
Everyone is okay, you are alive and breathing. Enjoy your quiet time, appreciate silence, I encourage myself and you with these words. I, for one, enjoy peace and quiet immensely! You aren't making me feel comfortable turning on your TV when I come over for a visit. I could care less about you turning on the radio in your car for me. I enjoy quiet. If you don't want to talk, you aren't hurting my feelings, keep quiet. I think sometimes we are offended when someone enjoys peace a little more than we do. "What's going on with her/him? Why isn't she talking much?" We think. Maybe they just don't want to hear what we have to say, because they need some time to just think.
When we have suddenly tripped up on those moments of peace or created a peaceful atmosphere, keep in mind that if you use your time wisely, those quiet moments in life will bring you out of whatever trial or tribulation you are dealing with. Maybe there is something you have been overlooking because you have been so busy. Establishing an atmosphere of peace and quiet in order to solve your problem might help; rather than doing what most people often do, talk to everyone they know, visit every website they can to find solutions, or spend money on yet another problem solving tool. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to make a problem go away; however, we can gain some energy during those sudden quiet times to face whatever is ahead. If you are spiritual, you know that sometimes God creates such moments to get our attention, it wouldn't hurt to say, "Okay God, I'm listening."
Take advantage of those moments of peace. Turn the cell phone, radio, TV and even the partner and children off sometime, and just relax.
Nicholl McGuire
Everyone is okay, you are alive and breathing. Enjoy your quiet time, appreciate silence, I encourage myself and you with these words. I, for one, enjoy peace and quiet immensely! You aren't making me feel comfortable turning on your TV when I come over for a visit. I could care less about you turning on the radio in your car for me. I enjoy quiet. If you don't want to talk, you aren't hurting my feelings, keep quiet. I think sometimes we are offended when someone enjoys peace a little more than we do. "What's going on with her/him? Why isn't she talking much?" We think. Maybe they just don't want to hear what we have to say, because they need some time to just think.
When we have suddenly tripped up on those moments of peace or created a peaceful atmosphere, keep in mind that if you use your time wisely, those quiet moments in life will bring you out of whatever trial or tribulation you are dealing with. Maybe there is something you have been overlooking because you have been so busy. Establishing an atmosphere of peace and quiet in order to solve your problem might help; rather than doing what most people often do, talk to everyone they know, visit every website they can to find solutions, or spend money on yet another problem solving tool. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to make a problem go away; however, we can gain some energy during those sudden quiet times to face whatever is ahead. If you are spiritual, you know that sometimes God creates such moments to get our attention, it wouldn't hurt to say, "Okay God, I'm listening."
Take advantage of those moments of peace. Turn the cell phone, radio, TV and even the partner and children off sometime, and just relax.
Nicholl McGuire
Monday, September 5, 2011
Audio Excerpts of When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire
Some time ago, I told relatives, online followers and others that I would be doing more with audio. I understand that not everyone has the time or money to read or buy my products. So I have uploaded some audio on the following site http://chirb.it/2hK6H7 The audio at this site is primarily excerpts from When Mothers Cry, a book I wrote to help new parents deal with the trials of raising a child or children. I am a mother of four and have been active in my children's lives despite separations and a divorce. Feel free to listen to the audio here.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Be Careful What You Write...
After writing my books, "Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate" and "When Mothers Cry," I didn't expect that life would be any easier as a result. These books were meant to be a release of past burdens. I didn't anticipate major book sales and made no plans to get these books in local stores. Making money wasn't even on the "to do" list. What was important to me first and foremost was saving lives. "If one woman could walk away from an abusive relationship as a result then it was worth writing the 'Laboring to Love...' book," I thought; and if another could walk away from her children before she abused them, then "When Mothers Cry" was worth it too!
When you write your reality, your truth about any circumstance, it is a given that you will face more challenges. It seems as if you are tested by everyone you know. "You should know better, you wrote the book," an advisor preaches. "I read your book and wow, I didn't know you went through so much, what do you think about...?" the reader questions. You are expected to know more than the average person and most of all you have now put yourself in a position to help others whether you set out to do that or not.
People want answers to their problems. This is the main reason why people even bother to read anything that anyone writes. "Can you solve my problem? Can you ease my pain? Do you have any wisdom to help me through my trial?" People want to be encouraged. There are times when I read my own work seeking a bit of information to help me deal with a dilemma. I admit that sometimes I forget what I write. It helps to go back and reflect.
At times, as a writer, you will regret some things you have said or wish you said more. I can't think of anything in particular that I regret writing, but I can remember how some of my articles made people react negatively and then I wished that they never read them; notice I didn't say I wished I never wrote them. No matter what my good intentions were in writing a piece, people will not always react positively. However, there were also those who agreed with my points in some of the same controversial work as well. If one left a positive comment, then in my mind, the rest of the folks didn't matter.
I advise any writer, like I would any speaker, to be careful what you write. If you can't say it in person, don't write it! I have watched interviews where people backed down from what they have said and I wanted to just throw a shoe at the TV. "Take a stand! Don't back down! You know you said it, so stick with it!" There will be those times when someone may push you to speak your truth even when you aren't quite ready, but rather than cave into the pressure, carefully consider everything first. I have had to do that. How will what I write impact my future? Is it necessary to reveal secrets? Should I talk about everything about a situation or just the revelant points?
It wasn't easy putting my first book together, because I had to look back. I had to go back and read the poetry I wrote while the abuse was going on. This meant that everything that happened over that nine-month period in my life had to be relived. I was irritable and impatient at times while putting that book together. It wasn't easy putting my second book together either, because I had to be honest about how the people, places, things, and reactions around me affected my being a mother. Sometimes you step on toes when you think about how people and things make you feel, but like a cauldron of hearty soup needs meat and potatoes, what people did or said goes in the pot. You might have to deal with readers speaking negatively about your book. If you are more interested in keeping the peace amongst family and friends when you tell a personal story, then don't write a book. But, if it means more to you to pen your truth, then do it! However, keep in mind that you will need to be careful what you say. You also might lose someone from your inner circle in the process too.
Nicholl McGuire
When you write your reality, your truth about any circumstance, it is a given that you will face more challenges. It seems as if you are tested by everyone you know. "You should know better, you wrote the book," an advisor preaches. "I read your book and wow, I didn't know you went through so much, what do you think about...?" the reader questions. You are expected to know more than the average person and most of all you have now put yourself in a position to help others whether you set out to do that or not.
People want answers to their problems. This is the main reason why people even bother to read anything that anyone writes. "Can you solve my problem? Can you ease my pain? Do you have any wisdom to help me through my trial?" People want to be encouraged. There are times when I read my own work seeking a bit of information to help me deal with a dilemma. I admit that sometimes I forget what I write. It helps to go back and reflect.
At times, as a writer, you will regret some things you have said or wish you said more. I can't think of anything in particular that I regret writing, but I can remember how some of my articles made people react negatively and then I wished that they never read them; notice I didn't say I wished I never wrote them. No matter what my good intentions were in writing a piece, people will not always react positively. However, there were also those who agreed with my points in some of the same controversial work as well. If one left a positive comment, then in my mind, the rest of the folks didn't matter.
I advise any writer, like I would any speaker, to be careful what you write. If you can't say it in person, don't write it! I have watched interviews where people backed down from what they have said and I wanted to just throw a shoe at the TV. "Take a stand! Don't back down! You know you said it, so stick with it!" There will be those times when someone may push you to speak your truth even when you aren't quite ready, but rather than cave into the pressure, carefully consider everything first. I have had to do that. How will what I write impact my future? Is it necessary to reveal secrets? Should I talk about everything about a situation or just the revelant points?
It wasn't easy putting my first book together, because I had to look back. I had to go back and read the poetry I wrote while the abuse was going on. This meant that everything that happened over that nine-month period in my life had to be relived. I was irritable and impatient at times while putting that book together. It wasn't easy putting my second book together either, because I had to be honest about how the people, places, things, and reactions around me affected my being a mother. Sometimes you step on toes when you think about how people and things make you feel, but like a cauldron of hearty soup needs meat and potatoes, what people did or said goes in the pot. You might have to deal with readers speaking negatively about your book. If you are more interested in keeping the peace amongst family and friends when you tell a personal story, then don't write a book. But, if it means more to you to pen your truth, then do it! However, keep in mind that you will need to be careful what you say. You also might lose someone from your inner circle in the process too.
Nicholl McGuire
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