Visit me on YouTube

Lately, I have felt like sharing more from my previous works.  You can listen to me read from my very own books at YouTube channel:  nmenterprise7.  There you will hear contrast and rhyming poetry about myself and experiences as well as thought-provoking commentary on relationships, life and spirituality.  Enjoy!

Silence: A Place of Peace Will Uplift

Some people are so use to noise that if it is quiet at anytime in their lives, they think that something is wrong.  If no one calls them for a period of time, if the family doesn't have the TV up loud or a radio on somewhere in the home, "What's wrong?" they think.  There is absolutely nothing wrong when there are those moments of peace that come out of no where!  If anything these are opportunities to check yourself, check your children, and anything else that needs checking, then sit back and relax!  This is how I build upon my creative side, I tap into those peaceful moments during the day.

Everyone is okay, you are alive and breathing.  Enjoy your quiet time, appreciate silence, I encourage myself and you with these words.  I, for one, enjoy peace and quiet immensely!  You aren't making me feel comfortable turning on your TV when I come over for a visit.  I could care less about you turning on the radio in your car for me.  I enjoy quiet.  If you don't want to talk, you aren't hurting my feelings, keep quiet.  I think sometimes we are offended when someone enjoys peace a little more than we do.  "What's going on with her/him?  Why isn't she talking much?" We think.  Maybe they just don't want to hear what we have to say, because they need some time to just think.

When we have suddenly tripped up on those moments of peace or created a peaceful atmosphere, keep in mind that if you use your time wisely, those quiet moments in life will bring you out of whatever trial or tribulation you are dealing with.  Maybe there is something you have been overlooking because you have been so busy.  Establishing an atmosphere of peace and quiet in order to solve your problem might help; rather than doing what most people often do, talk to everyone they know, visit every website they can to find solutions, or spend money on yet another problem solving tool.  Sometimes there is nothing we can do to make a problem go away; however, we can gain some energy during those sudden quiet times to face whatever is ahead.  If you are spiritual, you know that sometimes God creates such moments to get our attention, it wouldn't hurt to say, "Okay God, I'm listening." 

Take advantage of those moments of peace.  Turn the cell phone, radio, TV and even the partner and children off sometime, and just relax. 

Nicholl McGuire

 

Audio Excerpts of When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire

Some time ago, I told relatives, online followers and others that I would be doing more with audio.  I understand that not everyone has the time or money to read or buy my products.  So I have uploaded some audio on the following site http://chirb.it/2hK6H7  The audio at this site is primarily excerpts from When Mothers Cry, a book I wrote to help new parents deal with the trials of raising a child or children.  I am a mother of four and have been active in my children's lives despite separations and a divorce.  Feel free to listen to the audio here.

Be Careful What You Write...

After writing my books, "Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate" and "When Mothers Cry," I didn't expect that life would be any easier as a result.  These books were meant to be a release of past burdens.  I didn't anticipate major book sales and made no plans to get these books in local stores.  Making money wasn't even on the "to do" list.  What was important to me first and foremost was saving lives.  "If one woman could walk away from an abusive relationship as a result then it was worth writing the 'Laboring to Love...' book," I thought; and if another could walk away from her children before she abused them, then "When Mothers Cry" was worth it too! 

When you write your reality, your truth about any circumstance, it is a given that you will face more challenges.  It seems as if you are tested by everyone you know.  "You should know better, you wrote the book," an advisor preaches.  "I read your book and wow, I didn't know you went through so much, what do you think about...?" the reader questions.  You are expected to know more than the average person and most of all you have now put yourself in a position to help others whether you set out to do that or not.

People want answers to their problems.  This is the main reason why people even bother to read anything that anyone writes.   "Can you solve my problem? Can you ease my pain?  Do you have any wisdom to help me through my trial?"  People want to be encouraged.  There are times when I read my own work seeking a bit of information to help me deal with a dilemma.  I admit that sometimes I forget what I write.  It helps to go back and reflect.

At times, as a writer, you will regret some things you have said or wish you said more.  I can't think of anything in particular that I regret writing, but I can remember how some of my articles made people react negatively and then I wished that they never read them; notice I didn't say I wished I never wrote them.  No matter what my good intentions were in writing a piece, people will not always react positively.  However, there were also those who agreed with my points in some of the same controversial work as well.  If one left a positive comment, then in my mind, the rest of the folks didn't matter.

I advise any writer, like I would any speaker, to be careful what you write.  If you can't say it in person, don't write it!  I have watched interviews where people backed down from what they have said and I wanted to just throw a shoe at the TV.  "Take a stand!  Don't back down!  You know you said it, so stick with it!" There will be those times when someone may push you to speak your truth even when you aren't quite ready, but rather than cave into the pressure, carefully consider everything first.  I have had to do that.  How will what I write impact my future?  Is it necessary to reveal secrets?  Should I talk about everything about a situation or just the revelant points?

It wasn't easy putting my first book together, because I had to look back.  I had to go back and read the poetry I wrote while the abuse was going on.  This meant that everything that happened over that nine-month period in my life had to be relived.  I was irritable and impatient at times while putting that book together.  It wasn't easy putting my second book together either, because I had to be honest about how the people, places, things, and reactions around me affected my being a mother.  Sometimes you step on toes when you think about how people and things make you feel, but like a cauldron of hearty soup needs meat and potatoes, what people did or said goes in the pot.  You might have to deal with readers speaking negatively about your book.  If you are more interested in keeping the peace amongst family and friends when you tell a personal story, then don't write a book.  But, if it means more to you to pen your truth, then do it!  However, keep in mind that you will need to be careful what you say.  You also might lose someone from your inner circle in the process too.

Nicholl McGuire

My Parents are Going to Die, But I Might Before Them

The reality of death sets in the older you get.  For me the realization that one day my parents will die became especially heartfelt when one of them became deathly ill a few years back.  It is almost morbid to mention "death" or "dying" when you are talking to your parents, but it is an all-too important reality.  Therefore, when I realized this hard truth, I began to ponder, "How would their death impact me?"  Well, if you want your parents to be buried with dignity and some class, it would make sense to find out what they have in their financial portfolios to ensure that this gets done.  It would also make sense to find out that in the event that your parents don't die, but just become very ill, where to put them.  You could start this process by asking simple questions about their daily living.  Then maybe another time mention your thoughts on what to do in the event of an emergency, illness or death.  You may also want to talk about assets, beneficiaries, and what might they want you to do if they can't handle their business affairs.  Some parents may be okay with conversations like these when they are broken down over a period of time while others may take offense.  You may have to do your own investigative work, so that you aren't caught off guard if your parents should pass.

After talking to my parents about my concerns, I had a thought that passed through my mind that they may outlive me and if this is the case, then hopefully they will do something nice for the grandchildren in my absence.  I personally don't have much for my children, if I would die today or tomorrow, but I have some things they might be interested in.

Sometimes we are so caught up in routine, that we fail to do a lot of things including making sure that we, us and they are taken care of in the future.  I think too many of us have a "wait and see" mentality.  "Let's just deal with that issue when it comes..."  But whose to say, we will have it altogether when that time is upon us?

I know that lifestyle has a lot to do with how long someone lives.  I also know that there will always be exceptions to the rule, but I have to remind myself that I am not that person who is the exception, so the rules might be different for me.

I have been hearing people say little cliches like, "Think positive..." but it is the negative people who often say it.  It's almost as if they are trying to convince themselves aloud.  However, we can do a whole lot of thinking positive, but that isn't going to render results without us actually doing something.

Death as we all know is final!  When I am speaking with people offline, it seems as if they are more interested in defending their lifestyle choices, their foolish decisions, and other things that are slowly eating away at their relationships with others, their physical and spiritual bodies (among other things) that they are literally running away from the truth!

"This world is not my home, I am just passing through," an elderly person once told me.  So true, and because this is not my home, I am a mere guest trying to be on my best behavior until my spiritual father calls me home.

Nicholl McGuire

Survey Taking: Been There, Done That

Several years ago when I learned that I was pregnant and having some issues mentally and physically with it, I quit my job and decided that the best thing to do was remain stress free during the pregnancy.  However, I needed some money while I waited my time out, so I decided to look into paid surveys.  Now I have written about my experience briefly before, but this time I just wanted to add some things that I might not have shared in the past.

First, I stopped searching via the search engines for survey companies that pay and instead concentrated on a paid service that already did the research.  I found some on Click bank.  This way it saved me a lot of time.

Next, it wasn't that long after before I was receiving numerous offers because I for one was an expectant mom and had other children as well.  There were companies that readily accepted my profile and sent me both cash and rewards for my service...BUT...

I noticed that offers began to slow after having my baby.  Therefore, I couldn't reach payout levels (most were $20) that I had previously.  I began to tire of the emails that requested I complete a survey and then once I began taking it, I didn't qualify.

As I began to learn more about survey taking via visiting forums, looking up words like "scam" and "rip off" along with various company names, I learned that the popular survey companies that offered between $1-$3 quickly reached their maximum number of participants whether this is necessarily true all the time one only knows.  I also found that more and more companies since I started doing surveys were offering point programs for survey takers to pick a prize later; rather than giving us money like they once had.  As for those that were still sending money, like I mentioned before, they set payout levels. 

Now when you really think about survey taking, especially when you see it advertised as a job, you think like an employee.  However, survey taking is more like entertaining yourself for awhile, you get a small reward possibly for doing nothing.  The money is not anything to talk about and your lucky to buy something useful with it.  It also takes a lot of points to get a worthwhile reward. 

Some survey takers I did come across were always getting offers but what they were doing wasn't honest.  They would pretend to have certain interests, change their gender, have multiple accounts, and do other things to keep those offers coming in.  I guess in some of these scammers minds, they were paying the companies back that were ripping them off of their time.

Most of the offers I got would give me $1 for 15 minutes of time.  Others between $2 and $3 for 20 minutes or more of my time.  I had a couple that wanted me to go somewhere offline and I would be paid $75 plus--that is a once in a blue moon occurrence.  A few times I got offers for free movie tickets, coupons for products, and one time I got a web cam in the mail that I could keep just for completing a survey.  It turned out to be a quality product and was made by Microsoft.  Just to be clear, I didn't have to sign up for trial offers that asked for my credit card information either--those are a rip-off!!  Each survey experience was legitimate and I paid nothing. 

In closing, I would just like to remind my readers, don't survey take with a job mentality if you are interested in this sort of thing, because you will be disappointed.  To date, I am still receiving requests to take surveys, but I may click on one or two like every other week--not really interested anymore especially when they tell me each time I don't qualify.

Nicholl McGuire

A Review of Multi-Level Marketing

I have fallen for multi-level opportunities many times over the course of my life for one major reason: the promise to make money without having much to do!

A mother who is already busy caring for her children but needs extra money, a student who is overwhelmed with taking classes but is seeking ways to make extra cash, and someone unemployed who isn’t quite ready to return to the rat race but isn’t busy enough not to make money will all fall into multi-level marketing traps at some point in their lives!

I remember thinking that if I could just help yet another company that the fruits of my labor would be residual. Meaning that I would receive commission checks for the rest of my natural life! The first problem with this money making opportunity was found in the fine print. The more I read, the more I learned that I would have to pay into the company with my own money to make some money!

At first it seemed easy enough, buy products I already use, become familiar with the company’s product line before I tried to sell it, and create a marketing campaign. Yet, I thought that it was kind of unfair that I had to purchase products from them since they needed my help to promote their products.

In the 9 to 5 world, if a company wants your services they are not going to tell you to give them a fee before you work with them. I thought that I should have got something for free if they wanted me to tap into my contact list which was primarily made up of family and friends. However, the independent associates, marketers, whatever you would like to call them, claim they were giving me something free already, online business advice.

There wasn’t anyone coming to my home, all I had to do was log into a site that would answer my questions on how to effectively market their products. So that is what I did. Once I reviewed the products and seen what techniques I would use to market them, which seemed easy enough, I was ready to begin. However, I couldn’t get pass the discomfort I felt that I would have to register to buy a company product each month in order to be entitled to any commissions I would receive from the person I would recruit to my down line. Not to mention, in order to keep my title, I had to keep something I had in mind to purchase on file each month. Other multi-level businesses will use a monthly membership or tell you to get customers to purchase from your site so that you don’t have to buy.

So there I was, just like I did with affiliate marketing, posting my links everywhere I could, within policy of course, to get someone to join. I refused to buy advertising and found every way to share with the public my efforts for free.

At first the results were going well until I realized that the people who registered were not buying anything. They too wanted to collect a commission check without doing much too! However, the top level executives said that it was up to us to encourage new recruits to buy products each month like we did in order to be eligible to get commission checks.

When I got my first check of $21 in commissions, I was disappointed because I spent more than that to purchase products just to get my executive level position. I quickly learned that I would not be keeping any purchase on my account so that they could automatically bill me, because that is what they were doing and at times I would forget and have to scramble to put money in my bank account to keep from having insufficient funds! By doing that, I was changing my status and position in the up line; therefore, affecting the amount of money I could get from commissions.

I finally got a check many months later for a commission less than $10. I didn’t buy one single thing and only promoted my links and I still got something out of it. However, mind you it was months later and the money wasn’t enough for a decent meal at a local restaurant! I also noticed that those that seemed to be doing well were investing a lot of their own personal money to make it happen! They were using gas and hotel money to attend offline events and paying for various advertising methods. They were getting copies of fliers made. They were hosting elaborate events to get others to join. They were also putting their reputations on the line as well by exaggerating personal stories to gain sympathy. Stories like not having rent money and then someone coming along and getting them to join the business were frequently told.

I also found that when I will feel like no one was really answering my questions about the business, someone would be appointed to me that was about my age, race, and gender with a similar life experience offering me something free or taking time out with me to do something nice. Can I tell you that if someone does something great for you in a multi-level business it will obligate you to do something for them in return? I also noticed that when I did well I had many friends and when I didn’t do well I didn’t hear from them. I found that many relationships between family members and friends were strained because people just didn’t want these multi-level marketers coming around them asking them for just one more product to purchase or even worse to join the business with a so-called minimal investment.

Do I recommend anyone join a multi-level business? I would say no. I don’t like the pressure that the more popular ones put on the sales representatives not so much to get people to buy products but to get them to join! I also don’t like the fine print that is sprinkled here there on websites and on pamphlets and by the time they have your credit card number they have already made more profit from a few sales then you will make in months trying to obtain commissions. I am angered at the secrecy that goes on amongst the top level sales people yet we are all supposed to be a part of a team but they won’t share enough with you to help you help them or are you really helping them if you become their equal or beyond?

Multi-level marketing businesses often use techniques similar to that of churches to pull on your emotions to get you to donate! They want you to feel good about giving money you know that you don’t have! If you allow yourself to be rubbed on the back, pulled into meetings, and eventually left alone with your disgruntled family and friends looking at you, then you have no one to blame but yourself!

Nicholl McGuire

How to Surf for the Best Deal Online for Your Money

Birthdays and other special holidays are known for arriving during a time when one has very little extra cash to spend! Therefore, a shopper must be smart and know how to use the Internet to the fullest to get a great deal on a quality present. So what do Internet bargain shoppers know that others don’t? They know how to research! Here are some tips on getting the best deals!

First, get a pencil and a notepad ready to mark down any deals you may find during your search and where you found them. It is very easy to lose track of how much something costs and where you found it. When you type in the keyword for the item you are in search of in the main search engines add other words like “+ free shipping” and other specific keywords that will help you find what you need faster. You can add pricing information, buy one get one free, and other keywords that are usually associated with the product you have in mind.

Next, think of programs you already belong and check for discounts/coupons on their sites first. When you shop sometimes you are asked if you would like to join a special program hosted by the store. You accept and when it’s time to shop for that special gift, you forget about your memberships. One of the first things you should do is check those sites for specials discounts on the items you are seeking. Once you see some of the sales, you may change the item you had in mind to buy, for one similar that could be less expensive.

Third, check online auction sites and Amazon. There are many small businesses selling items dollars cheaper than the bigger stores. If you don’t mind, shopping with private sellers, try one of their sites.

Fourth, visit popular sites known for their deep discounts. Some of the most widely known names tend to have good quality merchandise at affordable prices. Stores like Walmart, Kmart, JcPenny, and Sears just to name a few. When you visit these sites type “clearance” in the search to see what items have been marked down.

Fifth, check local store websites. You may have stores right in your hometown you haven’t thought about and didn’t bother to check their websites either. Sometimes you will find that the store has a better deal online then if you walked into the store. If this is the case, you can print the item out from the Internet and if it is in the store, you most likely will get it for the same price you saw on the Internet.

Sixth, visit comparison shopping sites. Some of these sites will provide you with a variety of store locations for the single item you choose. This is a simple way to see who has the best price for what you are looking for. However, don’t solely rely on these sites, because it is impossible to list every single store in their databases that have the best deal.

Seventh, there are specialty shops that have discounts on shipping and handling or offer free shipping like the larger stores if you spend a certain amount of money. Sometimes they will offer some unbelievable deals because they aren’t as popular as the others. These companies use these special promotions to get people to visit their websites and make a purchase.

After you have done all seven of these things, you should have a good idea of what you are willing to spend, whether or not you will have to pay for shipping, and if you might want to be included on their mailing list in the future. Be sure that the website that you choose has an excellent return policy, has a phone number and email you can contact, and doesn’t have any other programs they may happen to sign you up for when you give them your credit card information. If you notice, many pop-up windows offering you to make other purchases be careful because some of those offers could be the kind that keep taking monthly from your credit card or bank. If you are unsure about any site, place a phone order.

By Nicholl McGuire

My Experience Meeting Men Online

I signed up for an online dating site for singles during a free trial period back in 2005 (since then I settled with one guy from back then.) I wasn’t desperate. I just wanted to try something different, because I had met men in traditional ways that most single women do such as: while walking down the street, through a mutual friend, attending a class, and at a family event. After spending about 30 minutes answering questions about everything from my preference in a man to what I like to do for fun, I had to create a small sales pitch as to why a man would be interested in me and upload my photo. When it was all said and done I had spent nearly two hours online just doing that then another couple of hours looking at page after page of single men. What I didn’t know is that every time I clicked on a man’s profile page my clicks were being tracked. The next day I received so many requests to chat live that I had to turn my speakers off because of all of the beeping!


There were Hispanic men, white men, black men, married men, and God only knows what other races of men flirting with me. “Hey sweetie! Hi beautiful! You are gorgeous!” One married man told me that I was going to make him divorce his wife! So I had to sift through all of the smooth talk and settle on a few men to chat. The Hispanic guy was a college educated guy with eyes to die for! The Middle Eastern guy seemed to be open minded, wanted me to know he loved America, but had no photo uploaded. The white guy told me candidly after a few conversations that he was interested in a sexual relationship and that he would even pay me if only he could do ABC and XYZ to me. I was so disappointed in him, because he only reinforced a known stereotype of why some white men will date black women. What’s funny was we had more in common than the others, but I had to politely tell him we couldn’t chat anymore. I was too offended beyond words.

So I continued to chat with the Hispanic guy who I later found out was from San Diego which was perfect since I was living in San Diego at the time. The Middle Eastern guy was also in San Diego as well. But as we chatted more, I found out that he wasn’t middle eastern he was jewish and from Israel. I asked him to send me some recent photographs.  But he seemed apprehensive about my request.  Then finally he said, "Okay." like he really didn't want to do it.  When he did, I was blown away! He was much older than me; in fact he could pass for my dad!  No wonder he didn't want to send the photos and kept insisting I meet him in person!  I was also sickened to see that the woman he was posing with was his daughter and she was about my age! He followed up with me after he sent the photos and asked me, “So what do you think?” What was I going to say, “You are an old, balding guy who could pass for my dad?” Of course, I didn’t say that, but I was thinking it. Instead, I told him, “They were nice.” He said, “You didn’t like them did you?” I said, “It wasn’t that, but I don’t think you’re my type.” That was the truth they were nice. He had sent photos from when he was in his daughter’s wedding. He would probably be a perfect catch for a woman his own age 40 plus. He became angry. “Well I was your type before you saw the photos.” I responded politely, “Yes, but I have to feel attracted to you.” He became quiet and digressed about the subject, started talking about his business, a print shop that he owned in an astute part of San Diego, and then we were off the phone. I never called him again and neither did he call me. I felt that maybe he thought he was a perfect catch for some money-grubbing young woman, but he had me confused – I’m not that kind of woman!

So the Hispanic guy was the last one standing and I had focused all my attention on him for about two weeks and we were actually having a one of a kind connection. I really thought that one day I could marry this guy – I mean he was just that good! He was articulate, intelligent, funny, and seemed to be doing well for himself while attending college. He was young like I was at the time (he was in his late 20s. I was in my early 30s.) His photos were nice. He had a slightly tanned skin tone like that of a Caucasian with blue eyes. However, I later learned something that his photographs didn’t reveal after meeting him in person. He was very careful to cover the weird shaped head under the baseball hat that was in those photographs. He was also very good about keeping his mouth closed and smiling, because some of his teeth had small gaps in between them (more noticeable than normal.) Lastly, he remained seated in many of his shots which made it hard to determine his height and also hid the size of his belly. I admit I had fallen head over heels in “lust” with his personality and when I saw him in person, the physical attraction just wasn’t there. Yet, the attraction that I had for his intelligence was off the chart! As I learned a little more about him while being in his presence, I realized that I had created a fantasy inside my head that just wasn’t there when I looked into those beautiful eyes. After many years of being on the Internet, I realized at that very moment with him that internet dating is not to be taken lightly. It was obvious he liked me in fact he direct about wanted to have sex with me, but I noticed in his mannerisms that he may have been thinking, “She isn’t my type. Nice girl, but not my type.” I also made a mistake during this date, by agreeing to intimacy with him, then changing my mind, meanwhile putting him and me in a potentially violent situation. I said no, he said yes and one of us was going to be in some serious trouble if we kept on in our mess. I made the choice to carry the burden. After the meeting in person, we no longer contacted one another. This is why I strongly warn young women to not put themselves in a position where you feel you have to say yes. We are saying yes to rape, drugs, alcohol, and anything else when we are in a vehicle with a man alone out of site from the public, at his home, or in a hotel room. Then when we realize we made a mistake, we cry, “Rape.” and then it may be too late. You will either give in to his demands or walk out without an outward scar (but mental and spiritual wounds) for the public to see or fight, get the authorities’ involved, and go through a plethora of emotions. Those are your options. No doesn’t start while the act is going on, it starts before you go with him by yourself away from the eyes of the public.

I eventually did find a guy on the Internet that became the father of two of my children, but can I tell you that if you think that meeting a guy on the Internet is better than meeting a guy initially in person, I will have to disagree. Because if attraction is one of the things that is high on your list of interests when dating men, then you will find yourself very disappointed almost angry at yourself for wasting time. People who aren’t interested in attraction, that physical chemistry between two people, will probably have no problem mentally dating first and then settling even though they know the guy or girl would have never been their pick in person. For them it would be easy to settle since attraction isn’t high on their list and they are already in love with them mentally. However, for me I need the whole package or nothing at all. When the man who became my children’s father, arrived at my door step, there was a white aura around him that I was able to see from a spiritual sense. He had stimulated me not only mentally like the example I used earlier, but he had also stirred my loins! He was actually better looking in person than in some of the photographs he sent me. He told me the same thing when he had met me. At the time I needed someone who I could connect with spiritually and who had an unforgettable personality. I prayed for the kind of man who would make any strong, feminist type of woman, like myself, fall to her knees and say, “What will you have me to do for you?” The kind of man who would love his wife so much that she couldn’t help but be submissive to him, to me, that is a good man!

I encourage anyone who has done everything else but Internet date to try it at least once. You could save yourself and the people interested in you some time and money if you are honest! If you have one child or many children by different partners, say so. If you are unemployed, been in jail, or something else, why not state the obvious. You would be surprised at how many men and women who will turn a blind eye to your past when you take the time to briefly explain and then follow up with how you changed. I will admit that I have been very honest in my past profile and I the conversations I have had with the opposite sex to the point that some of my family and friends told me, “Don’t say that! Why would you tell him that?” I believe that honest is the best policy. As much as we are tempted to think we can control how a person feels about us, the truth is we may get away with it for a little bit, but eventually they will find out and reach a conclusion whether or not they want to be with us anyway. So why not get on the right track from the beginning when you seek your potential wife or wait for your potential husband?

Nicholl McGuire