My Thoughts on Buying from Private Sellers

I love a bargain! Whether the company is large or small, a group or an individual selling it doesn’t matter to me just so long as I am getting the best price! With the economy spiraling out of control from one day to the next, I find that more and more people are taking what they really don’t need whether the item is brand new or gently used and getting whatever money they can for it. I enjoy buying online and when everything goes right I am quickly giving a seller four stars but when things go wrong, and they do, I am asking for a refund. But before I share the negative experiences, let me start with reasons why I buy from private sellers and what keeps me coming back. The three things that are important to me are price, personal service, and timeliness. A good price or special is what draws me in when selecting a seller to buy from. Also, location is a big deal for me too. When I know the item will be shipped from someone locally, I tend to go with this person because usually the item gets to me quickly! I will continue to buy from a seller if I know he or she is oftentimes receiving positive feedback from his or her buyers, but when I see a change in anyone of the areas I like, I move on to another seller.

Now for my bad experiences with private sellers that have happened to me more often in recent years. I assume that customer service has gone downhill because the economy has been bad. Prior to the economy, I didn’t have as many problems with online sellers. One problem I have is when the seller doesn’t disclose everything that is wrong with a product. When you, as a buyer, have an item such as a small electronic device that takes batteries and when you play it after a few times its time for new batteries, you can’t help but feel like you have been ripped off. This is when you say, “No wonder I got it for such a great deal.” Some sellers will reason that they left out those details because it may not have sold, let the buyer be the judge of that. I notice with some of these items that have great prices the statement of, “You get what you pay for” holds true. But what should be added is “but we aren’t that kind of company.” When the product arrives, it should be a pleasant surprise not the kind that appeared bigger in the picture but in all actuality it is smaller than you realize. To me, I feel cheated.

Another issue I have with some private sellers is a lack of professionalism in customer service. I know that he or she may be a stay-at-home mother or a retired grandfather, but there is no excuse for not sending me a follow up email letting me know the item has been shipped, may not arrive on time, or is out of stock. Let the customer decide what he or she will do if this issue is happening on the seller’s end. Not everyone will ask for a refund. I also would like to know if a seller even received my order and payment for an item. A friendly note will put me at ease. I don’t like to be put in a position to ask a seller, “Where is my order?”

One of my biggest pet peeves with private sellers is the hoops you have to jump when asking for a refund. I understand that there are people who abuse the system, but there are also people who are honest. If private sellers want to play in the big leagues then refund like them. I had an issue with a table, a large table, not arriving at my doorstep, I told the company and without hesitation they looked up the order, realized it didn’t come to my address, and refunded me the money. I learned the reason why some sellers will make you jump through hoops is because they don’t have much money if any money put away for refunds. That is why some will make you wait as long as 30 days to give you your money back. There business just isn’t generating enough profit just to hand you over your money when you want it.

When dealing with private sellers it may be difficult to exchange a product because they aren’t like the big chains having an abundance of items in stock, so you may have to wait awhile. Also, you are responsible for paying for the chipping and handling usually to return the item. There are some companies that will boast on the front page of their website that they will pay for shipping and handling on returns, but that isn’t many.

In conclusion, I love private sellers because I have been on both sides of the fence. I know what it feels like to have to scramble around the house looking for items to sell to meet a payment on a bill. I understand when you deal with a drop shipper and the item is suddenly out of stock and you have 50 plus orders to fill. It can be a pain! But I also know from a buyer’s point of view that all you want is a little communication and honesty. If the item will be late a seller should say so, if something happened to the item then be honest about it. I would recommend private sellers despite some of my negative experiences especially if you don’t have much money to spend with the larger chain stores and just hope and pray that your transaction with them will go smoothly!

By Nicholl McGuire

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11 Signs You Need Some "Me Time"

Sometimes we all get bogged down with family, jobs, friends, and more. Like a child, we just don't know when to quit playing and just relax. I thought of some signs I have noticed with myself and others when it is time for a little "me time."

1. Yelling or overreacting to things

2. Making excuses for being irritable so often.

3. Lying or covering up pain or illness.

4. Blaming everyone for your issues but yourself.

5. Arguing often with your partner.

6. Punishing your partner or children for situations you could have controlled.

7. Unable to have a good night rest.

8. Forgetting things often.

9. Being overly critical and feeling as if you have to tell everyone what to do.

10. Threatening or actually leaving your family.

11. Feeling like you want to harm yourself or others.

Hopefully, if you see these signs as well as others, you will do yourself and those around you a favor and take some "me time."

Nicholl McGuire

Something for the Men: A Wise Woman is Your Best Friend

Yes dogs are loyal. They will stick by you to the very end. They will still love you even when you forget to feed them, stay away too long, yell at them, and so on. But dogs can’t give you what you need when your spirit is reaching out for someone to complete you. Let’s be real, dogs aren’t a man’s best friend, but a wise woman is. Notice the key word here is “wise.” A foolish woman is a man’s downfall. We see that all the time in the media. A political, entertainment, or sports figure decides to go out with a woman who has strategically placed herself at the right place at the right time to obtain one’s material wealth. After attempting to destroy the man’s reputation, she may find temporary fame and fortune (many women don’t) and then when the lights are off she is by herself name-dropping to some friends.

Men overlook wise women all the time for the ditz. The reasons are endless from beauty to status, but whatever the reason, a wise woman will come out on top every time. For purposes of this writing, let’s define wise as “having or showing wisdom, good sense, or good judgment, sensible, aware of what is going on, informed,” according to the Webster’s New Ideal Dictionary. So to be with a wise woman is essential for a young man striving to become a better man and an older man looking to make the remaining years of his life something special.

So why is it that men in the beginning of a relationship want the wise woman, but later on find her unattractive, boring, not what they had in mind, different, strange etc.? Could it be that the man overlooked beauty over brains? Maybe he still wanted to party and travel as a single man? Or he simply couldn’t handle the challenge of thinking deeply, acting honestly, and being sensible? Not every man is ready for adult conversation and responsibilities. Some men as they grow older become weary of being the focused professional, able to handle challenges in a single bound. The superman title gets old for some. Just like women at certain times in their lives, they just want to let their hair down too and have a good time. But what’s wrong with having it all with a wise woman who can be a help mate in fulfilling your dreams and aspirations?

I have personally talked with men over the years who are confused as to what it truly means to have a serious relationship with someone. Their take on a good relationship is similar to that of a high school crush. They expect to be in love forever--holding hands, kissing, and playing under the covers. However, they don’t anticipate the stormy days when they aren’t the likeable, funny guy that their mate fell in love with in the beginning. These clueless men’s feelings become easily wounded when she objects to a silly joke, wants some space, or finds fault with them about something. They have associated a bad day or bad mood with a “throw the baby out with the bath water” type of relationship drama. Before you know it, they are holding grudges and looking for the next woman who they can feel those butterflies with. Yes, there are women who act the same way, but this article is not about them, it’s about men who need to understand the importance of having a relationship with a wise woman and not a foolish one.

The men that I have talked to unfortunately didn’t have a mother or a father around them who taught them what type of woman they needed that could be an asset to their lives. Instead, they were told to get involved with certain women for shallow reasons such as “she is pretty, she is older, and she has money…” But what they weren’t told was that the woman who can complete them is the one who will be a beacon to their lives. Like a lighthouse, she will show you the way in a storm. When you have lost your job, succumbed to illness, witnessed a relative die, or fell into a depression, she will pick you up and usher you where you need to be in life.

So what are the character traits of a wise woman? She is kind, considerate, and respected by family and friends. She is a planner, organizer, and detailed oriented. She is an independent thinker and no longer needs her mother, father and other relatives to guide her life. She has stopped saying, “Well my mother said…grandma told me…daddy reminded me…” She has a faith and is spiritually gifted. She may possess any one or all of the spiritual gifts as defined in the Christian Bible. For those who do not understand her, she is looked upon as a know-it-all type. Wise women who have allowed compliments to go to their heads are not looked upon with favor by those closest to them, because they are not disciplined enough to know how to communicate with others in a loving manner. However, in the public, they are admired. These women also tend to be bossy, arrogant, and sometimes unforgiving. They use their intellect to cast revenge and anger on others purposely. “God told me to tell you…You are stupid…You are a fool…that’s why you are going to hell!” These are the kind of things that wise women will say that make them look no better than a fool! They can be too wise in their own eyes at times and turn people completely off. “You should do this…why don’t you say that…do this because I said so…” She is always talking, but never listening. Yet, a wise woman who is in control of her emotions, humble, and loves others is a person who can be cherished. She is saying, “I am here for you, if you need me.”

A wise woman watches your back. She sees trouble coming from all angles even from your own family and friends. She may have never interacted or seen some of them, yet she knows that this person(s) is a potential problem or may threaten the household in some way. When your mother or other family members are being controlling and want to make you do what they want you to do when they want it, a wise woman will remind you about your current responsibilities and advise you to take a stand. For those of you who are married, you should already know this, and if you don’t then here’s your wake up call. A wise woman will tell you about that gut feeling she has about certain women at your workplace and although you maintain your innocence it doesn’t mean that you won’t slip up, so watch what you say and do. Wise women will also warn you when things in the house aren’t working, the car needs a tune up, and the children are misbehaving. She isn’t telling you these things to aggravate you, but she wants you as the man of the house to do your part. She knows she can’t do everything and she doesn’t want to take over unless pushed--being pushed is never a good thing for anyone. You can defile your wise woman at home and turn her into a bossy nag who will make you wish you never laid eyes on her! However, if everyone does their part the household will run efficiently.

A wise woman will create a schedule on how the household should best operate. She will manage dates and times so that everyone knows what is ahead. She isn’t trying to control your free time, but she wants to be sure of the following: there is time for the two of you, time for the children and time for the extended family and friends. She knows that if she doesn’t make some time for all parties particularly the in-laws, she will be blamed and looked at by your family as someone who is keeping you away from everyone while being accused by in-laws of “henpecking” you for her own benefit. She knows how people think and she wants to be sure that you and the family is always looked upon with favor.

Wise women are very good at saving money. She isn’t interested in spending every dollar in the house for herself; rather, she knows that bills need to be paid, groceries, toiletries, and other household goods are needed. It makes sense to her to buy in bulk and save; rather than buy in singles and pay double. She is the master at seeing what the future holds. She knows that an emergency savings will be necessary, an education fund will need to be set up, holidays are coming, and so much more. So she spends hours researching, heads to the store with sales papers and coupons in tote looking for the best deals.

A gift that most wise women have is one of instinct also known as women’s intuition. She may have tapped into it in the above examples when she came to you with a series of warnings and questions. Some of these wise women have dreams, visions, and unexplained feelings. They just know when something is wrong or when it is right. She may tell you suddenly to do something that you would have rather put off or stay away from something or someone, if you listen to her and do what she says at that time, you may benefit. She also knows when she is being lied to or betrayed, but she won’t always say, because if she is one of faith, she knows that God will deal with you or those around her accordingly. It is better to avoid lying to a wise woman at all costs. The consequences aren’t ever worth the price of putting your relationship with her at risk.

So before you do the following: write that smart woman off who may be interested in you, end your current relationship, or think the grass is greener on the other side, consider this, wise women are rare nowadays. There aren’t many who come from stable homes with a mom, dad and siblings. There are few who aren’t materialistic and even fewer who grew up amongst prayer warriors. If you are one of those men who have fallen out of love with your wise woman, then work real hard to fall back in love with her. Take some time out and remind yourself about the good ole days and do something special for her and yourself. A wise woman is a keeper.

Looking for Me on Associated Content/Yahoo?

You won't find me on Associated Content/Yahoo anymore. Simply put, I looked in my inbox one day to find that one of my audio recordings on making money blogging was a violation of terms. Rather than just delete the recording, the entire account was deleted after three years of service which equates to almost 600 articles, over 30 videos and 50 plus recordings. But after the shock wore off, I took out my cds with my material over the years and connected with other businesses, it was just that easy.

Good thing, all my articles and other content I owned full rights. You see, if I hadn't selected the full rights option on just about all of my work with the exception of a handful of articles, they would still be making money on my material despite my account being deleted. You never know working online, writing for others, what can possibly happen from one day to the next. So I encourage fellow writers to back up all work you deem important offline and don't give away all of your rights to any of these internet organizations. Also, always have other income opportunities ongoing. This way you won't shed one tear over money lost.

I have creative work all over the web. If you are interested in continuing to follow my work, one day I plan to build a one stop shop so you can read some of my more popular and controversial material. But for now, you can stay posted here or follow a link or two on this site.

Well, I have work to do. Thank you for following me and I appreciate your support.

Nicholl

Programmed by the Media

In recent years, I awoke gradually, to the realization that my thoughts were never my own as long as I fed my mind a daily dose of: television, radio, print, and Internet news for hours non-stop. When would I ever allow for time to simply think for myself—to draw my own conclusions about what I saw and read?

The people who I trusted to be my mentors and teachers were big TV watchers too. They offered me advice based on what they “heard or read somewhere.” I had been a victim of a plan for my life that included lies, pre-conceived notions, stereotypes, ignorance, and religious propaganda from both the good and evil sides. When I looked around at what I thought was my reality, reflected on my past, and envisioned what my future might look like, it was a hard-truth to swallow, that nothing was as it seemed, I like so many others, had been programmed to ignore me.

“Who was I really? How did I get here? Whose idea was it to create nature? What was my purpose? Why is one of the oldest books in the world still the most important—the Bible? Why should I care about the strangers in the media who live and then die? What did it matter that some statistic said one thing or another? Who told me that I had to go to college on money I couldn’t afford to ever pay back? Why is it that only select individuals are allowed to grace the cover of magazines, sell the top records, get the best acting parts and so on, while the rest of us could only wish? Why should I celebrate holidays?”

After all the questions, the tears and the fears, I had finally arrived to adulthood in my thirty-something years. There was no more going along just to get along. No more accepting everything and everyone because someone told me it was the “politically correct” thing to do. I no longer saw a need to act like someone other than myself! It was no longer necessary to join civic groups and religious organizations just to feel like I was doing something to make life better for my children and I! No more pressure to celebrate national holidays and commemorate the deceased year after year. I had broken some of the shackles that had stifled me from being a free-thinking human being. Being an African American, woman, mother, writer and every other title that I had been born into or became, wasn’t as important as it used to be.

I had to learn to acknowledge a Creator that wasn’t outside of me, but the one, some call Jesus, who left a gift that lives inside of me called the Holy Spirit. For years, He had had been whispering to me, since I was child, long before I studied a Bible. When I look back on my life, I know now that it was always in His plan to use me. Some of you are being called while you read this blog entry, here’s your word, “It’s time to put off childish rebellion!” Ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart and use you. (Read or re-read the Book of Acts and the gospels in the King James or New International Versions to understand some of what I am talking about regarding the Holy Spirit.)

The Holy Spirit wasn’t my mother’s God, my grandmother’s Lord, my friend’s “daddy,” or a cousin’s Allah, He was someone that I had to make up in my mind, body and spirit to embrace. By allowing myself to be subjected to another world, beyond this one, the blinders would slowly come off and years of programming would gradually diminish.
Since 2009, I have looked at our world in a different light. There is no more going along with the TV and radio “programming” any longer. Before that year, I had zero interest in digging for news outside of what was fed to me. It took a simple search for a musician’s name and a short reading of her lyrical content to show me that I had best stop polluting myself with lies.

I am not so trusting anymore about what I see and read. I question everything now more than I had back when I was a journalism student in high school and college. I’m not interested in sharing someone else’s account of things like: religion, health, finances, culture, art, and more like I once was without finding out more and sharing my own personal testimony if necessary. It is more important these days to do your own research and formulate your own opinions even if typical protocol says, “Leave your opinion out of it.” Create your own printed materials, ie.) Nicholl McGuire Media.

Just as there are spirits who help, there are those we allow into our lives that hurt us! One such spirit I would like to call, “lazy.” I, like so many others, have been subjected to this lazy spirit for decades! It tempted me to just get the news from someone else, get your food from someone else, get your housing from someone else, get your counseling from someone else, learn about God from someone else and on and on and on until I grew dependent on someone else! The words that I heard from the media, our government, even relatives I accepted as fact; rather than question them deeply (you know beyond the surface knowledge.) I trusted others that the food they were making was safe for my body. I believed that as long as I had a place to stay, no worries. If a relationship wasn’t what I liked, I reasoned you just get someone else.

The lazy spirit didn’t want me to ponder too long on an uncovered misconception, a lie, or a deceitful practice, it just wanted me to do nothing more than listen and keep your opinions to yourself. The spirit always comforted me with, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. If you say something, someone might get mad.” Even though I wanted to scream, “It’s not okay! Someone is lying! I need to know the truth.” The lazy spirit distracted me from the truth convincing me that my immature mindset couldn’t handle the truth.

Now that I have reached a place in my life where I see a small light at the end of the tunnel, I must not turn back now, I must keep going toward the light. The last time I saw a light was back in 1992, it was a false flag, I was lying in bed deathly ill at 18 years old from pneumonia and other illnesses. I wanted so bad to walk toward that beautiful light, but a small voice wouldn’t let me. When I awoke that night after sleeping for almost a day, I felt bad, but I knew I had to continue to live, not for me, but for Him, my Lord--he wasn't through with me yet.

A roommate drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said she brought me to the hospital just in time. He told me one wrong move on my part, a shove or a bump to my spleen at the time, and I would have been dead—that’s just how ill I had become, I could barely walk or speak at that time. “You are a very sick young woman,” the doctor said. But God is a healer and I have never been that sick since. When my Lord is ready to take me home, He will. In the meantime, I have things to do and one of them is uncovering lies.

Nicholl McGuire

Spring Break with the Children: A Good Way to Catch a Case of Writer's Block

You would think staying at home with children would actually give you plenty to write about. I mean you could sit back and think about your childhood, laugh about those times when your own children made you smile, and even pen a few tips to help other parents. Yet, the first week the children were out of school, it was nothing more than a playland that at times got out of control leaving someone crying about being hurt. The more energy around me from my four active boys, the more writer's block arose to the surface of my mind. I sat in front of the computer a few times with nothing to say. I think that was a good thing considering the negative emotions swirling within me from having to say far too many times, "Be quiet! Sit down! Stop doing that..." And they say, "The joys of parenting..." Who is "they" anyway?

So finally I took some quiet time just before the oldest boys closed their eyes to go to sleep and I just prayed and cried until every emotion came flooding out! That's right, I sat on the floor and let the tears hit the carpet. It was better I did that then have an anxiety attack. My eldest son came toward me and put his arm around me and when I opened my eyes my other son was crying too. If the little ones had been in the room, they most likely would have been crying as well. It's hard at times, being a mom, especially when you are anal like me about a clean household, organized belongings, and quiet time.

When there are so many emotions flooding within our bodies, we writers need a release that goes beyond love-making, vacations, spas, and shopping--we need the freedom to just exhale with no movement, no touch, and preferably no people. This is one of the best ways to push writer's block away so that the next time we are in front of the computer, we are doing just this, writing.

Nicholl McGuire

Nicholl McGuire Media Editing Services | Academic Editing | Essay Correction | Business Editing |

Oftentimes you can get bogged down trying to keep up with all the tasks that require you to write. You are welcome to stop by my business blog for assistance.  Nicholl McGuire Media

Do You Recall Any of Your New Year's Resolutions?

If you made some or even had a few hopes for this year, how are things coming along?

Since the start of the new year, I have been putting in motion my task list--you know that thing some call, "a goal" or "to do" list. I desired to write and read more (both of which I have been doing, but not without some challenges) and I also needed to abstain from some things personally and professionally that were setting me back including impulse buying.

Sometimes you will find yourself needing more time during the day to do something, so that's when some things must be put aside to allow for other things to happen in your life.

I have found that when we set our goals in front of us each day, great things can happen! There is something about looking at what you have and haven't accomplished each day that will give you a good kick in the rear! I don't know about you, but I just can't keep looking at an unfinished business project on a calendar or on notepads daily, and not feel compelled to do something--even if it means just crossing it out and doing something else in its place.

I also found that those things we keep putting off are usually the things we should have been doing in the first place. For instance, if you leave something out in the middle of the floor, like a tool, it just might help you get your task complete. It will serve as a simple reminder to motivate you to get what ever needs to be done immediately. I have personally done this with a vacuum, a carpet shampooer, and a pile of papers and receipts I needed to sort through. What tidy person wants to see that mess in the middle of the floor each day? So what are you most likely going to do? Make time to get those things done, so that you can put what you're keeping back in its proper place.

Sometimes we over-think things and don't get anything done! For example, there was one writing project I kept thinking about and did nothing, but when I left my notes by the computer and only devoted time to that (during my free time which I made time for) that day, it got done. No cell phone was answered, the children were watching movies and playing with toys (which I typically rotate so that they feel that excited feeling every time they see an old toy again.) Once everything else was done, I began typing.

The next day, I did the same thing all over again and then the next day and the next. I think when we think too much about what we have to do, we put pressure on ourselves and then we don't want to do them. Sometimes we just need to jump right in-- turn off the Internet, TV and other distractions and just do them!

When I realized how much time I was wasting during the day, doing routine activities, I found some tools to help make my life easier and free up more time in my busy day. Everything from a four-slice toaster to online programs to automate some of my routine tasks. I also freed myself of "traditions," that were taking far too much money out of my pocket and time away from my business activities. It wasn't necessary to make meals that require a lot of preparation-- especially daily. I stopped taking the children out so much; therefore I cut down spending money on more toys and games that just added to their collection of toy bins. I also took all those birthday wishes off my calendars. It just didn't make sense to spend money on people who don't think enough of you. I also cut off the people who just were no added benefit to my life. How much negativity can one stand? I think of an old song, "I can do bad all by myself, I don't need no help!"

My friends, this is what it takes to make time to accomplish a New Year's goal or two.

To God be all the glory.

Nicholl McGuire