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When I am not writing, I enjoy video blogging and audio recordings. Feel free to view my latest work on You Tube and thank you for your support!

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11 Signs You Need Some "Me Time"

Sometimes we all get bogged down with family, jobs, friends, and more. Like a child, we just don't know when to quit playing and just relax. I thought of some signs I have noticed with myself and others when it is time for a little "me time."

1. Yelling or overreacting to things

2. Making excuses for being irritable so often.

3. Lying or covering up pain or illness.

4. Blaming everyone for your issues but yourself.

5. Arguing often with your partner.

6. Punishing your partner or children for situations you could have controlled.

7. Unable to have a good night rest.

8. Forgetting things often.

9. Being overly critical and feeling as if you have to tell everyone what to do.

10. Threatening or actually leaving your family.

11. Feeling like you want to harm yourself or others.

Hopefully, if you see these signs as well as others, you will do yourself and those around you a favor and take some "me time."

Nicholl McGuire

Something for the Men: A Wise Woman is Your Best Friend

Yes dogs are loyal. They will stick by you to the very end. They will still love you even when you forget to feed them, stay away too long, yell at them, and so on. But dogs can’t give you what you need when your spirit is reaching out for someone to complete you. Let’s be real, dogs aren’t a man’s best friend, but a wise woman is. Notice the key word here is “wise.” A foolish woman is a man’s downfall. We see that all the time in the media. A political, entertainment, or sports figure decides to go out with a woman who has strategically placed herself at the right place at the right time to obtain one’s material wealth. After attempting to destroy the man’s reputation, she may find temporary fame and fortune (many women don’t) and then when the lights are off she is by herself name-dropping to some friends.

Men overlook wise women all the time for the ditz. The reasons are endless from beauty to status, but whatever the reason, a wise woman will come out on top every time. For purposes of this writing, let’s define wise as “having or showing wisdom, good sense, or good judgment, sensible, aware of what is going on, informed,” according to the Webster’s New Ideal Dictionary. So to be with a wise woman is essential for a young man striving to become a better man and an older man looking to make the remaining years of his life something special.

So why is it that men in the beginning of a relationship want the wise woman, but later on find her unattractive, boring, not what they had in mind, different, strange etc.? Could it be that the man overlooked beauty over brains? Maybe he still wanted to party and travel as a single man? Or he simply couldn’t handle the challenge of thinking deeply, acting honestly, and being sensible? Not every man is ready for adult conversation and responsibilities. Some men as they grow older become weary of being the focused professional, able to handle challenges in a single bound. The superman title gets old for some. Just like women at certain times in their lives, they just want to let their hair down too and have a good time. But what’s wrong with having it all with a wise woman who can be a help mate in fulfilling your dreams and aspirations?

I have personally talked with men over the years who are confused as to what it truly means to have a serious relationship with someone. Their take on a good relationship is similar to that of a high school crush. They expect to be in love forever--holding hands, kissing, and playing under the covers. However, they don’t anticipate the stormy days when they aren’t the likeable, funny guy that their mate fell in love with in the beginning. These clueless men’s feelings become easily wounded when she objects to a silly joke, wants some space, or finds fault with them about something. They have associated a bad day or bad mood with a “throw the baby out with the bath water” type of relationship drama. Before you know it, they are holding grudges and looking for the next woman who they can feel those butterflies with. Yes, there are women who act the same way, but this article is not about them, it’s about men who need to understand the importance of having a relationship with a wise woman and not a foolish one.

The men that I have talked to unfortunately didn’t have a mother or a father around them who taught them what type of woman they needed that could be an asset to their lives. Instead, they were told to get involved with certain women for shallow reasons such as “she is pretty, she is older, and she has money…” But what they weren’t told was that the woman who can complete them is the one who will be a beacon to their lives. Like a lighthouse, she will show you the way in a storm. When you have lost your job, succumbed to illness, witnessed a relative die, or fell into a depression, she will pick you up and usher you where you need to be in life.

So what are the character traits of a wise woman? She is kind, considerate, and respected by family and friends. She is a planner, organizer, and detailed oriented. She is an independent thinker and no longer needs her mother, father and other relatives to guide her life. She has stopped saying, “Well my mother said…grandma told me…daddy reminded me…” She has a faith and is spiritually gifted. She may possess any one or all of the spiritual gifts as defined in the Christian Bible. For those who do not understand her, she is looked upon as a know-it-all type. Wise women who have allowed compliments to go to their heads are not looked upon with favor by those closest to them, because they are not disciplined enough to know how to communicate with others in a loving manner. However, in the public, they are admired. These women also tend to be bossy, arrogant, and sometimes unforgiving. They use their intellect to cast revenge and anger on others purposely. “God told me to tell you…You are stupid…You are a fool…that’s why you are going to hell!” These are the kind of things that wise women will say that make them look no better than a fool! They can be too wise in their own eyes at times and turn people completely off. “You should do this…why don’t you say that…do this because I said so…” She is always talking, but never listening. Yet, a wise woman who is in control of her emotions, humble, and loves others is a person who can be cherished. She is saying, “I am here for you, if you need me.”

A wise woman watches your back. She sees trouble coming from all angles even from your own family and friends. She may have never interacted or seen some of them, yet she knows that this person(s) is a potential problem or may threaten the household in some way. When your mother or other family members are being controlling and want to make you do what they want you to do when they want it, a wise woman will remind you about your current responsibilities and advise you to take a stand. For those of you who are married, you should already know this, and if you don’t then here’s your wake up call. A wise woman will tell you about that gut feeling she has about certain women at your workplace and although you maintain your innocence it doesn’t mean that you won’t slip up, so watch what you say and do. Wise women will also warn you when things in the house aren’t working, the car needs a tune up, and the children are misbehaving. She isn’t telling you these things to aggravate you, but she wants you as the man of the house to do your part. She knows she can’t do everything and she doesn’t want to take over unless pushed--being pushed is never a good thing for anyone. You can defile your wise woman at home and turn her into a bossy nag who will make you wish you never laid eyes on her! However, if everyone does their part the household will run efficiently.

A wise woman will create a schedule on how the household should best operate. She will manage dates and times so that everyone knows what is ahead. She isn’t trying to control your free time, but she wants to be sure of the following: there is time for the two of you, time for the children and time for the extended family and friends. She knows that if she doesn’t make some time for all parties particularly the in-laws, she will be blamed and looked at by your family as someone who is keeping you away from everyone while being accused by in-laws of “henpecking” you for her own benefit. She knows how people think and she wants to be sure that you and the family is always looked upon with favor.

Wise women are very good at saving money. She isn’t interested in spending every dollar in the house for herself; rather, she knows that bills need to be paid, groceries, toiletries, and other household goods are needed. It makes sense to her to buy in bulk and save; rather than buy in singles and pay double. She is the master at seeing what the future holds. She knows that an emergency savings will be necessary, an education fund will need to be set up, holidays are coming, and so much more. So she spends hours researching, heads to the store with sales papers and coupons in tote looking for the best deals.

A gift that most wise women have is one of instinct also known as women’s intuition. She may have tapped into it in the above examples when she came to you with a series of warnings and questions. Some of these wise women have dreams, visions, and unexplained feelings. They just know when something is wrong or when it is right. She may tell you suddenly to do something that you would have rather put off or stay away from something or someone, if you listen to her and do what she says at that time, you may benefit. She also knows when she is being lied to or betrayed, but she won’t always say, because if she is one of faith, she knows that God will deal with you or those around her accordingly. It is better to avoid lying to a wise woman at all costs. The consequences aren’t ever worth the price of putting your relationship with her at risk.

So before you do the following: write that smart woman off who may be interested in you, end your current relationship, or think the grass is greener on the other side, consider this, wise women are rare nowadays. There aren’t many who come from stable homes with a mom, dad and siblings. There are few who aren’t materialistic and even fewer who grew up amongst prayer warriors. If you are one of those men who have fallen out of love with your wise woman, then work real hard to fall back in love with her. Take some time out and remind yourself about the good ole days and do something special for her and yourself. A wise woman is a keeper.

Looking for Me on Associated Content/Yahoo?

You won't find me on Associated Content/Yahoo anymore. Simply put, I looked in my inbox one day to find that one of my audio recordings on making money blogging was a violation of terms. Rather than just delete the recording, the entire account was deleted after three years of service which equates to almost 600 articles, over 30 videos and 50 plus recordings. But after the shock wore off, I took out my cds with my material over the years and connected with other businesses, it was just that easy.

Good thing, all my articles and other content I owned full rights. You see, if I hadn't selected the full rights option on just about all of my work with the exception of a handful of articles, they would still be making money on my material despite my account being deleted. You never know working online, writing for others, what can possibly happen from one day to the next. So I encourage fellow writers to back up all work you deem important offline and don't give away all of your rights to any of these internet organizations. Also, always have other income opportunities ongoing. This way you won't shed one tear over money lost.

I have creative work all over the web. If you are interested in continuing to follow my work, one day I plan to build a one stop shop so you can read some of my more popular and controversial material. But for now, you can stay posted here or follow a link or two on this site.

Well, I have work to do. Thank you for following me and I appreciate your support.

Nicholl

Programmed by the Media

In recent years, I awoke gradually, to the realization that my thoughts were never my own as long as I fed my mind a daily dose of: television, radio, print, and Internet news for hours non-stop. When would I ever allow for time to simply think for myself—to draw my own conclusions about what I saw and read?

The people who I trusted to be my mentors and teachers were big TV watchers too. They offered me advice based on what they “heard or read somewhere.” I had been a victim of a plan for my life that included lies, pre-conceived notions, stereotypes, ignorance, and religious propaganda from both the good and evil sides. When I looked around at what I thought was my reality, reflected on my past, and envisioned what my future might look like, it was a hard-truth to swallow, that nothing was as it seemed, I like so many others, had been programmed to ignore me.

“Who was I really? How did I get here? Whose idea was it to create nature? What was my purpose? Why is one of the oldest books in the world still the most important—the Bible? Why should I care about the strangers in the media who live and then die? What did it matter that some statistic said one thing or another? Who told me that I had to go to college on money I couldn’t afford to ever pay back? Why is it that only select individuals are allowed to grace the cover of magazines, sell the top records, get the best acting parts and so on, while the rest of us could only wish? Why should I celebrate holidays?”

After all the questions, the tears and the fears, I had finally arrived to adulthood in my thirty-something years. There was no more going along just to get along. No more accepting everything and everyone because someone told me it was the “politically correct” thing to do. I no longer saw a need to act like someone other than myself! It was no longer necessary to join civic groups and religious organizations just to feel like I was doing something to make life better for my children and I! No more pressure to celebrate national holidays and commemorate the deceased year after year. I had broken some of the shackles that had stifled me from being a free-thinking human being. Being an African American, woman, mother, writer and every other title that I had been born into or became, wasn’t as important as it used to be.

I had to learn to acknowledge a Creator that wasn’t outside of me, but the one, some call Jesus, who left a gift that lives inside of me called the Holy Spirit. For years, He had had been whispering to me, since I was child, long before I studied a Bible. When I look back on my life, I know now that it was always in His plan to use me. Some of you are being called while you read this blog entry, here’s your word, “It’s time to put off childish rebellion!” Ask the Holy Spirit to come into your heart and use you. (Read or re-read the Book of Acts and the gospels in the King James or New International Versions to understand some of what I am talking about regarding the Holy Spirit.)

The Holy Spirit wasn’t my mother’s God, my grandmother’s Lord, my friend’s “daddy,” or a cousin’s Allah, He was someone that I had to make up in my mind, body and spirit to embrace. By allowing myself to be subjected to another world, beyond this one, the blinders would slowly come off and years of programming would gradually diminish.
Since 2009, I have looked at our world in a different light. There is no more going along with the TV and radio “programming” any longer. Before that year, I had zero interest in digging for news outside of what was fed to me. It took a simple search for a musician’s name and a short reading of her lyrical content to show me that I had best stop polluting myself with lies.

I am not so trusting anymore about what I see and read. I question everything now more than I had back when I was a journalism student in high school and college. I’m not interested in sharing someone else’s account of things like: religion, health, finances, culture, art, and more like I once was without finding out more and sharing my own personal testimony if necessary. It is more important these days to do your own research and formulate your own opinions even if typical protocol says, “Leave your opinion out of it.” Create your own printed materials, ie.) Nicholl McGuire Media.

Just as there are spirits who help, there are those we allow into our lives that hurt us! One such spirit I would like to call, “lazy.” I, like so many others, have been subjected to this lazy spirit for decades! It tempted me to just get the news from someone else, get your food from someone else, get your housing from someone else, get your counseling from someone else, learn about God from someone else and on and on and on until I grew dependent on someone else! The words that I heard from the media, our government, even relatives I accepted as fact; rather than question them deeply (you know beyond the surface knowledge.) I trusted others that the food they were making was safe for my body. I believed that as long as I had a place to stay, no worries. If a relationship wasn’t what I liked, I reasoned you just get someone else.

The lazy spirit didn’t want me to ponder too long on an uncovered misconception, a lie, or a deceitful practice, it just wanted me to do nothing more than listen and keep your opinions to yourself. The spirit always comforted me with, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. If you say something, someone might get mad.” Even though I wanted to scream, “It’s not okay! Someone is lying! I need to know the truth.” The lazy spirit distracted me from the truth convincing me that my immature mindset couldn’t handle the truth.

Now that I have reached a place in my life where I see a small light at the end of the tunnel, I must not turn back now, I must keep going toward the light. The last time I saw a light was back in 1992, it was a false flag, I was lying in bed deathly ill at 18 years old from pneumonia and other illnesses. I wanted so bad to walk toward that beautiful light, but a small voice wouldn’t let me. When I awoke that night after sleeping for almost a day, I felt bad, but I knew I had to continue to live, not for me, but for Him, my Lord--he wasn't through with me yet.

A roommate drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said she brought me to the hospital just in time. He told me one wrong move on my part, a shove or a bump to my spleen at the time, and I would have been dead—that’s just how ill I had become, I could barely walk or speak at that time. “You are a very sick young woman,” the doctor said. But God is a healer and I have never been that sick since. When my Lord is ready to take me home, He will. In the meantime, I have things to do and one of them is uncovering lies.

Nicholl McGuire